I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read this copy to your profile.

If you do not fear death, but rather what comes after, paste this to your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.

Some of my Favorite Quotes

I take no credit for any of these.

Those who criticise our generation seem to forget who raised it!!!

Some Idiots says, "Behind every successful man, there is a woman" But nobody knows the fact "Women go only behind the successful men".

If aliens are looking for intelligent life WHY ARE YOU SCARED?!

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Practice makes perfect...but some say nobody is perfect so why practice

if you think no one cares if your dead or alive miss a couple of mortgage payments

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tryed slamming a revolving door.

When life gives you lemons...make grape juice!!! Then sit back and let the world wonder how.

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades

the definition of luck is getting run over by and ambulance in front of a hospital

Sometimes I think the surest sign that there's intelligent life somewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us

Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.

I don't want to quit drinking because, as they say, winners never quit and quitters never win.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.

Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Welcome to WalMart get your shit and get out.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.

The most important thing is not to stop questioning.

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

my imagenary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

There are three types of people in the world...those who can count and those who can't.

CATfucious say dog run in front of car get tired doggy run in back of car get exhausted either way doggy stupid

No Strings attached .No holds barred. Come get some.

if i was a bird i know who i'd shit on first.

5 facts

1. There are more boys than girls in the world

2. People will always be human... won't they?

3. It is impossible to lick your index finger while looking up

4. You just tried number 3

5. You are laughing at number 4

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30 in the morning... can u believe that 2.30am! Lucky for him i was still up playing my Bagpipes.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas

I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Anyone who thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, is aiming ten inches too high.

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.