Info: Nothing you need to know. : ) I enjoy collecting interesting quotes, and reading well written fanfiction. If you have either, please send them my way.

Random Quotes

Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I'm required to have a lot of common sense. Or any, for that matter...

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

I didn't deny it! I just didn't admit it!

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

I just thought of something funny...your mother.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I Came. I Saw. I Conquered.

At first I thought he was walking his dog. Then I realized, it was his date.

We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

Always remember you’re unique…just like everybody else.

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

"I want to die in my sleep like my great grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car..."

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery.

"Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive, anyway."