A/N: I am sooooooo sorry I haven't been updating guys!! I don't have a computer right now :( and finals are coming up soon again. So sorry. I promise I'll try to update as soon as possible. I should be getting a laptop shortly (assuming my stepfather co-operates with me and my mom). Then I'll be able to update whenever I get done typing chapters up. I have up to chapter 23 (I think) written on Jasper's Angel and I'm working on Gypsy Woman (but have a major writers block :( ). Love you guys and ur reviews!!

A/N: Omg guys... I love you guys, but I need a lil help... I honestly have the worst writers block... EVER... I can't even get a oneshot up :S I'm sooo sorry about the major haitus on everything, I swear I'm trying... I've tried to write chapters for all the stories multiple times and can't get anything of value out... I'm still looking for that notebook with the next 20 or so chapters of Jasper's Angel in it... but still no luck so far :S Hopefully I have it stashed away with my old school stuff... I'm gunna check again in a bit probably, after I'm done apologizing for my epic absence :S Love you guys, and hope you review or message me with some ideas of what you all want to see/hear/have happen in the stories and maybe I can work it out like that.

Quotes:

"That ain't no etch a sketch. That's one doodle that can't be undid home skillet" Omg...I thought that was absolutely amazing. I saw it on Jayeliwood's profile so thanks to her for the quote!...Does anyone know what it's from?

"Goblin King Goblin King where ever you may be, take this horrible child away from me!" Gah...my lil bros...I wish. The quote is from Labrinth...

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Random Facts

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."

If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself. (YUCK!)

The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War 2 killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this??)

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!!

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: 6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David, Hearts - Charlemagne, Clubs -Alexander, the Great, Diamonds - Julius Caesar

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you have ever run into a door (or wall!), copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile..

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile...

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile..

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!..

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile)

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. (Are you kidding me! I would frickin' LOVE to become a vampire! Screw like!)

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get the Twilight series, copy this into your profile.

You know your addiction to the Twilight series is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you went to sleep around 2 A.M. reading Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list:

Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225CherryBlossoms016, Runs With Horses (RWH), xxJaksxx

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:

AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, .a.broken.heart.within. The Most OOC Writer Around, Mask of Mirage, EcoliandDahChihuahua, Mellie11, Tsukishiro, YaoiRocks, Dark Mican, Evanescenceangel18, Runs With Horses (RWH for short!), xxJaksxx

If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your signature

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have WAY too much time on your hands and your on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile

copy and paste this if you like the most annoying songs in the world(hampster dance, Numa Numa song, crazy frog)personally i love these songs but i dodn't know what categorey music they would be

copy and paste this if you think the people who DON'T like those songs are weird(even though you are the weird one)

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever fallen for any of these, "If you have ever," things, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your bio.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile

If you were choking on a peice of lettuce and you're cousin merely watched and laughed, copy and paste this into you're profile.

If a glass door has spontaneously appeared out of nowhere... copy and paste this into you're profile

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you’ve ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are afraid of five things and want to tell the world but most people thought your fears were stupid, copy this onto your profile

If you use the term "weird" when you can't think of anything else to call someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a wall while being total sugar high copy this into your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

if u hate child abuse, post this on ur profile!!

lol...kay sry bout that...I was amused...hehe...but anyway...

Hopw I can update my stories soon. Stay posted!

xxJaksxx