"Wait another minute- can't you see what this pain has fucking done to me...?"

Basic Information

Real Name: none
Age: 23
Gender: guess
Sexual Orientation: bisexual
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

A Guide to Reading my Stories
Complete - These are just oneshots, with nothing more added to them. Ever.
(nothing) - This means that my story is ongoing, and I actually have plans to update it in the near future.
DEAD STORY - Stories marked with this, are generally fics that I have abandoned for one reason or another. If you're wanting to read updates for these fics soon... Don't count on it. Unless something radical changes my mind, these are dead in the water. Good food for passing sharks, though. (If you see a story marked DEAD STORY and want to continue it yourself, just ask me. Most likely, I'll hand you the reins and let you take over.)

A Little Bit about How I Write
Writing seems to be my main passion, though art in general is great to me. I don't pigeon-hole myself into writing one series, or even one genre. If I feel like it needs to be written, it shall be written. That's why I write hetero and yaoi/yuri, romantic and hardcore action, comedy and drama... The list could go on forever. Also, I have a wide variety of series that I write for; I do have a few that, admittedly, I write for more than others, those being Negima! Magister Negi Magi, Azumanga Daioh, and South Park, but I have fun writing for way more series than that.

Also, just to get this out of the way, I (for the most part) abhor canon pairings. Thus, I write almost solely for anti-canon pairings. I do Harry/Luna, Negi/Nodoka, Takuto/Falce (watch Macademi Wasshoi! if you don't get the reference)... ETCETERA. In other words, expect me to VERY rarely write for a canon pairing. There are a few that I do support: Stan/Wendy... Will/Lyra... Kenny/Kelly... Yuichi/Ayu... But those are the exceptions to the rule, not the rule itself.

And just in case this EVER comes up... Which I'm pretty sure it won't...
(If you want me to write a story for you, check the list for stories I'm knowledgeable about)
Mahou Sensei Negima! (or any spin-off thereof)
Harry Potter
Azumanga Daioh
Love Hina
Ai Yori Aoshi
South Park
King of Thorn
His Dark Materials
WWE wrestling
Fullmetal Alchemist
Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
Kashimashi Girl Meets Girl
Love Hina
Pokemon (through "Johto League Champions" arc)
Yu-Gi-Oh (through "Waking the Dragons" arc, nothing from Yu-Gi-Oh GX)
Law and Order: SVU (pretty much, any of the Law and Order(s), except for Trial by Jury)
Family Guy
American Dad
Push
Twilight (on rare occasions)
and more when I think of them

Addictions: Super Nachos, manga/anime, Magic: The Gathering, writing my novels

Things I Like: Porn

Things I Hate: Censorship, rabid shippers (doesn't matter what pairing, it's still annoying), the state of the Union, being broke (thus no new manga or anime for me...)

MY CURRENT OBSESSION(S): Harry Potter, Push, This Ugly Yet Beautiful World, South Park, Law and Order: SVU, Tosh.0

Favorite Character(s), by Series (top favorites in bold):
Harry Potter- Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Fred and George Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Lily Evans, Rubeus Hagrid
Futurama- Dr. John A. Zoidberg, Bender, Leela, Harold Zoid, Fry
South Park- Kenny McCormick (he's mah no. 1), Leopold "Butters" Stotch
Family Guy- Glenn Quagmire, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Herbert
Ai Yori Aoshi- Tina Foster, Kaoru Hanabishi
Avatar: The Last Airbender- Toph Bei Fong, Aang (does he even have a last name?), Sokka, Suki
Love Hina- Shinobu Maehara, Keitaro Urashima, Motoko Aoyama
Mahou Sensei Negima!- Nodoka Miyazaki (my fav anime character ever), Yue Ayase, Negi Springfield, Chisame Hasegawa, Sayo Aisaka
Fullmetal Alchemist: Al Elric, Winry Rockbell, Scar, Gluttony (my fav Homunculus), Lust
Law and Order: SVU- Det. 1st Class Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Det. Sgt. John Munch, Amy (the lady in the wheelchair, only been in two episodes...)
Azumanga Daioh- Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga, Chiyo-chan, Sakaki, Kaorin
His Dark Materials- Will Parry, Lyra Silvertongue, Pantalaimon, Iorek Byrnison, Dr. Mary Malone
Naruto- Hinata Hyuuga, Gai-sensei, Rock Lee, Kakashi (likes pancakes)
Bleach- Lt. Yachiru Kusajishi, Ichigo Kurosaki, Yasutora "Chad" Sato
Elfen Lied- Nana, Lucy/Nyu
Furuba- Kyo Sohma, Tohru Honda
Death Note- Misa Misa, Ryuzaki, Raito Yagami
InuYasha- Kagome, Shippo, Sango, Miroku, InuYasha, Kirara
WWE- Rey Mysterio, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Kane, Finlay, MVP, Lita, Kelly Kelly, The Undertaker, Ric Flair, Paul London/The Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Cherry, Jamie Noble, Michelle McCool, John Cena, Mickie James, Dolph Ziggler
Push- Nick, Cassie, Pinky, The Pop Boys
Kamichama Karin- Karin, Kirika, Shii-chan/Nike/Nyake/Nya-ke, MiYon/Mi Yon Yi
Macademi Wasshoi!- Falcesque, Suzuho, Sakuma, Takuto, Metallis, Hapsiel (as much as I hate to admit it...), Baltia

FAVORITE FANFICTION WRITERS (constantly self-updating):
Azure Xuchilbara, Ambrant Arandel, Eidolon Twilight Princess (Mahou Sensei Negima!)
Loca Bambina. eishi, Against A Wall (South Park)
foofoocuddleypoops (Harry Potter)
Loca Bambina (Furuba, aka Fruits Basket)
Ayumu Kasuga's Revenge, Fade to Osaka, Osakaism, NotoriousNumbnut, Weener1, Chiyo And Osaka Fan, DOGHERO1925, TheOneandOnlyKaorin (best AD fanfic writer EVER), Osaka-chaness (my one and only man-love) (Azumanga Daioh)
PeNzRcOoL, StudentofDust :) (Push)

Pairings Galore!
Demon House- Mike/Rei (it's a book that my friend is writing)
Harry Potter: Harry/Luna, Lily/Severus, Ron/Hermione, Ginny/Neville, Ron/Padma (if it's done right), Bloody Baron/Grey Lady
His Dark Materials: Lyra/Will
Mahou Sensei Negima: Negi/Nodoka, KonoSetsu, Yuedoka, Eva/Nagi, Asuna/Takamichi, Kaede/Mana, Misora/Cocone, Natsumi/Kotaro, Kazumi/Sayo, Negi/Anya, Negi/Yue, Negi/Chiu, Chisame/Chachamaru, Negi/Nodoka/Yue (three-way), Nagi/Albireo, Negi/Kotaro, Negi/Mei
Azumanga Daioh: Osaka/Chiyo, Kaorin/Sakaki, Yukari/Nyamo, Tomo/Yomi
Avatar: The Last Airbender- Taang, Sokki, Zutara
Fullmetal Alchemist: Al/Winry, Gluttony/Lust, Ed/Rose
Naruto: NaruHina, SasuSaku, Gaara/Lee, Gai/Lee, Jiraiya/Tsunade
Love Hina: Keitaro/Mutsumi or Keitaro/Shinobu
Bleach: IchiRuki, Chad/Orihime, Ichigo/Yachiru, Kenpachi/Yachiru
Ai Yori Aoshi: Kaoru/Tina (and nobody else)
Yu-Gi-Oh: Yugi/Serenity, Joey/Mai, Tristan/Tea
Elfen Lied: Kohta/Lucy, Lucy/Nana, Kohta/Nyu
InuYasha: InuKagome, Sango/Miroku
Kimi ga Nozomu Eien: TakaHaru
Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE- Syaoran/Sakura
Death Note: Raito/Misa
Kanon: Sayuri/Mai, Yuichi/Ayu
Kashimashi Girl Meets Girl : Hazumu/Yasuna
Fruits Basket: Tohru/Kyo
South Park: Stan/Wendy, Kenny/Kelly, Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/Kenny, Stan/Kyle, Cartman/Butters
WWE (Wrestling)- Jeff/Lita, Matt/Lita, Jeff/Torrie, Carlito/Maria, Cherry/Michelle, Mickie/Cena, Edge/Lita, Maria/Dolph
Push- Nick/Cassie, Pinky/Kira (kind of...)
Kamichama Karin- Karin/Kirika, Karin/Kazune, Karin/Himeka, Himeka/Kazune
Twilight- Bella/Edward, Bella/Jacob, Rosalie/Emmett, Alice/Jasper
Macademi Wasshoi!- Takuto/Falce, Suzuho/Metallis, George/Hapsiel, Sakuma/Baltia, slight Takuto/Eneus

Pairings that Have no Category/Movie Pairing
McMorbid/XenoPuff (from *Rimfrost's comics on deviantART)
SAW: Jigsaw/Amanda

My Least Favorite Pairings:
- Dramione (HP): Oh, come on. Hermione hated Draco for the first six and a half books... and even during the Battle of Hogwarts, she didn't exactly trust him...
- Itachi/Sakura (Naruto): This is what I think any time I see an ItaSaku fanfic: "What... the... hell..."
- Harry/Ginny (HP): Simply cause it was too obvious from the beginning- that, and Ginny just isn't as right for Harry as Luna is. I refuse to write a fanfiction pairing Ginny and Harry together (sole exception: "Holding On", and I had to do that one to record Luna's thoughts...)
- Nick/Kira (Push): Just 'cause Nick and Kira didn't go together as well as Nick and Cassie did. 'Nuff said.
- Jacob/Edward (Twilight): Umm... EEEEEEWWW!!

Long List: Every Anime that I Like
AIR, Azumanga Daioh, Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Kanon, Love Hina, Elfen Lied, .hack//Legend of the Twilight, Karas, Higurashi: When They Cry, Kimi ga Nozomu Eien (Rumbling Hearts), Eiken, Blood(Plus), Mahou Sensei Negima, Naruto, Le Chevalier D'eon, Furuba, FLAG, Spirited Away, Real Bout High School, Hellsing, Itsudakke! My Santa, Ninja Nonsense: The Legend of Shinobu, Excel Saga, Lucky Star, A Little Snow Fairy Sugar, Castle of Cagliostro, My Neighber Totoro, Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE, Nerima Daikon Brothers, The Wallflower- Yamato Nadeshiko Shichihenge, Kurau: Phantom Memory, Ai Yori Aoshi/Enishi, Death Note, Samurai Champloo, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chobits, RahXephon, The Big O, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya), To Heart, Maburaho, Yukikaze, InuYasha, Eureka 7, Ghost in the Shell, Grave of the Fireflies (yeah, I'm a Hayao Miyazaki nut... lol), Neon Genesis Evangelion, Sgt Frog, Yukikaze, Yumeria, Sekirei, Onegai Sensei!, Onegai Twins!, Akaneiro ni Somaru Saka, Samurai Harem: Asu no Yoichi!, and more when I have the time.

Long List: Every Manga that I Like
Negima! Magister Negi Magi, Bleach, Love Hina, Shakugan no Shana, Azumanga Daioh, Oh My Goddess, Lament of the Lamb, King of Thorn, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hellsing, .hack//Legend of the Twilight, Sgt. Frog, Ai Yori Aoshi, Aoi House In Love, Death Note, Furuba, Claymore, D•N•Angel, R.O.D. Read or Die, R.O.D. Read or Dream, Hibiki no Mahou, O-Parts Hunter, Fall in Love like A Comic, D.Gray-Man, One Piece, InuYasha, Yu-Gi-Oh, Zombie-Loan, Anima, Mahoromatic, FLCL, Kanon, Ayu Mayu (kinda...), Shugo Chara, GA Geijutsuka Art Design Class, Shoulder-a-Coffin Kuro, Lucky Star, Ichiroh!, Kamichama Karin/Chu, and more when I have the time.

Least Favorite Animes:
1. Negima?! (the remake of the original Negima! anime; it is an affront to Akamatsu and Negima! fans everywhere)
2. Lupin the 3rd (it just never appealed to me much...)
3. Pokemon (after the "Johto League Champions" season, it completely fell apart...)

Favorite TV Shows (non-anime)
1. South Park
2. Family Guy
3. Law & Order: SVU
4. Futurama
5. Pro wrestling shows (e.g. WWE Raw/SmackDown!, TNA iMPACT Wrestling, etc)

A GIANT LIST OF EVERY MUSICAL ARTIST I LIKE:
DISTURBED, Demon Hunter, Linkin Park, Mudvayne, DragonForce, Crossfade, Three Days Grace, Nickelback, Powerman 5000, As I Lay Dying, 10 Years, RED, P.O.D., Silkk the Shocker, Eminem, D12, Dead Celebrity Status, Hoobastank, Sevendust, The Fray, The Cruxshadows, Godsmack, Dashboard Confessional, Creed, Lostprophets, Smile Empty Soul, Breaking Benjamin, Skillet, Day of Fire, Cradle of Filth, Darkest Hour, Chevelle, Peace Orchestra, Switchfoot, SONICFLOOd, Metallica, 12 Stones, Alter Bridge, Killswitch Engage, Lacuna Coil, Slipknot, Phil Collins, Staind, Ashes Divide, Jay-Z, Massive Attack, X Japan, Dir en grey, Nightmare, Eighteen Visions, Red Hot Chili Peppers, My Chemical Romance, Rise Against, Finger Eleven, 311, anyone with the last name of Marley, Darkest Hour, and way moar that I won't post 'til later

Anime Cons I've Been To:
none... (cries)

Other Sites You Can Hit Me Up At:
www.myspace.com/50350909
(my web-comic account)

Remember: I love each and every one of y'all, even if you don't review my fanfictions; if you even read them, I'll love you forever.

FAVORITE QUOTES

"Kamehameha!"
- Son Goku, from DragonBall Z

"There's one main difference between comics and comedians: A comic says funny things, while a comedian says things funny. That's why I'm a drummer."
- me

"It's a charm, actually. Keeps away the Nargles."
- Evanna Lynch, as Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Negi-sensei, I've loved you since the day we met. I... I love you, Negi-sensei!"
- Nodoka Miyazaki, from Mahou Sensei Negima volume 4 (the manga)

"It's only human to want to be extraordinary."
- the tagline for the new season of The 4400

"I won't leave without a trace, I won't be erased"
- Demon Hunter, "I Play Dead"

"Stuff... with... people!"
- Amanda Durr

"Dee-dee-dee!"
- Carlos Mencia, from Mind of Mencia

"Japanese doggeh!"
- Kevin, talking about Akitas

"Ai shiteru."
- Japanese for "I love you."

Amy- "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
Andrew- "I met you, didn't I?"
- a line from my in-the-works novel, The Hunter

"Rated M for corpses."
- Spork no Jutsu, in the description for his fanfiction "Revenge part One"

"I remember my first sexual experience. I was scared, it was dark, I was alone..."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"Be careful the next time you see a light at the end of a tunnel. It could be another train."
- I have no idea who first said this

"I'm not drunk. I'm just exhausted from a night of drinking."
- Peter Griffin, from Family Guy

"Brian, look, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'ooooooo'."
"Peter, those are Cheerios."
- conversation between Brian and Peter, from Family Guy

"Gravity, you win again!"
"Please, we need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."
"There's not an eatery out there that I can't pilot. Where to, ladies?"
"She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro."
- Zap Branagan lines, from the Futurama episode "Amazon Women in the Mood"

"I'm going to sing the Doom Song now..."
- Gir

"Oh my God, he's violating Seabreeze!"
"No, no, he's just awkwardly positioning himself- oh, now he's violating Seabreeze..."
- another random Family Guy line

Chris- "Hey, birthday dude! You want some ice cream?"
Stewie- "Yes- but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find... I shall kill you."
- Family Guy, from Stewie's 1st birthday party

"The V-chip: helping dumbass parents avoid responsibility since 2000."
- Mind of Mencia

"You know what I hate? When people say that old people are cranky. (bleep) you!"
- Peter Boyle, from Mind of Mencia

"Sex is a wonderful thing. Someday I'd like to do it again."
- Jim "JR" Ross, color commentator for WWE Monday Night RAW

"I am somewhat preoccupied telling the Laws of Physics to shut up and sit down."
- Vaarsuvius, from Order of the Stick

"Reject, are you no one? Fear you nothing? You know, I bet you think you have a good reason
To be living in the limelight of the fortunate ones you know..."
- Disturbed, "Fear"

"In a world beyond controlling, are you going to deny the Savior in front of your eyes?
Stare into the night...
Power beyond containing, are you going to remain a slave for the rest of your life?"
Give into the night..."
- Disturbed, "The Night"

"Save sorrow for the souls in doubt..."
- Demon Hunter, "Carry Me Down"

"Every time you try to apply real-world physics to anime scenarios, God kills a cat-girl. Think of the cat-girls."

Brian: "Peter, do you even listen to yourself when you talk?"
Peter: "I drift in and out..."

Law and Order: SVU Quotes

Doctor: "Any sex therapist will tell you- it's easier to dig a hole than build a pole."

Stabler: "What do we got, John?"
Munch: "A van tried to take a shortcut to Brooklyn- the river got in the way."

Munch: "From now on, I want to be known as The Intrepid Detective Munch."

psychiatrist- "Do you always deflect personal questions with jokes?"
Munch- "Do you always deflect jokes with personal questions?"
- episode 1x22 "Slaves"

Fin: "You should have listened to me when I told you to leave the dog in the car."
Munch: "Do you know how many dogs die each year in locked cars?"
Fin: "Do you know how many cops shoot their partners and get off on a justifiable?"

Munch: "There are five stages of grief. Try not to go through all of them at once."

Munch: "We could start a bonfire with all the alcohol this girl consumed. What's your poison, honey?"
girl: "Shut up, you dirty old man!"
Munch: "Who you calling old?"

Fin: "My ex is a big pain in the ass."
Munch: "I've had some experience with that. I'll give her your love."

Munch: "Isn't there some key piece of evidence we're missing?"
Cragen and Stabler: "Shut up, John!"

Munch: "Well, I guess that just about covers everything."
psychiatrist: "Uh, no, actually... we have forty-five minutes."
Munch: "I suppose you want a detailed account of my sexual history."
psychiatrist: (shrugs and nods)
Munch: "Then, how're we going to kill the remaining forty-four minutes?"

Fin: "You have the right to remain silent, and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill you."

(I honestly and truly don't believe in posting random "If you (insert something random here), then repost this on your profile" crapballs on my page. It's useless, and quite frankly, it looks absolutely horrible on your profile. Besides, who cares about whether you believe in God, or whether you've never smoked weed/gotten laid/listened to rap music, etc? This isn't MySpace; it's FanFiction.net. So don't try to turn it into something it's not.)