CrazyGirl27272
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Joined 06-04-13, id: 4767100, Profile Updated: 08-03-13

FEMALE COMEBACKS!! They are the funniest thing ever!

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Woman: It's gonna hurt when I hit you upside the head

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Can't Get You Out Of My Head by jackandkimforever reviews
The sarcastic, friendly Kim Crawford just moved to Seaford with her family. It's her first day of school. While there, she meets lots of people, including this guy that was staring at her all day. She later finds out he's the bad boy of the school, and he finds out she's the responsible type, but for some reason they can't get each other off of their minds. What's gonna happen?
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 49 - Words: 82,794 - Reviews: 1946 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 439 - Updated: 7/15/2018 - Published: 2/16/2013 - Kim C., Jack B.
Parenting A Fake Baby 101 by monochromemermaid reviews
Jack and Kim are assigned a project where they are "married" and have a fake baby to take care of for a whole month. Will it tear them apart, or bring them closer? How will they do as parents? As husband and wife? All of this AND a big tournament on the verge? How will these two Wasabi Warriors handle? Guess you'll have to read to find out: Rated for language
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 68,261 - Reviews: 939 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 376 - Updated: 12/28/2014 - Published: 1/11/2012 - Jack B., Kim C. - Complete
The ABC's of Kickin' It! by ABC-Writer reviews
Hold on to your hats, because we are going throughout the alphabet- KICKIN IT STYLE! Starting with A and ending with Z, these are completely un-related one shots. LOTS OF KICK! R&R please
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 31,693 - Reviews: 538 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 8/4/2014 - Published: 8/31/2012 - [Kim C., Jack B.]
Broken Cords by keep-swinging reviews
Jack is the rebel of Seaford High. Kim is a simple girl trying to escape a horrible past involving lies, deceit and a shattered heart. When the two cross paths, what will happen? Will Kim open her heart up again? Will Jack gain the heart he never had? Will broken bonds become fixed? TBR-W
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 60,734 - Reviews: 944 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 4/19/2014 - Published: 12/23/2012 - Jack B., Kim C. - Complete
A Living Nightmare! by LaylaBrewer reviews
A newcomer has arrived at Seaford high. His name: Jack Brewer. While some girls actually love his bad boy personality, Kim Crawford does not. She hates how he thinks so highly about himself and nothing of others. But why does she seem drawn to him? Can she be the one to unlock his past? Can she bring him out of the haunting memories and make him into a better person? PlzR&R Charlie
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 37,581 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 1/30/2014 - Published: 1/27/2013 - Jack B., Kim C. - Complete
Kickphabet by secrets xx reviews
Alphabet of Kick! Don't copy my title! :3 A series of one shots that will contain 26 chapters of our favourite karate duo. Whether it's a cute moment or if they're having some couple problems, Kim and Jack will always have that special connection. And of course, it all starts with an apple...
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,527 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 1/13/2014 - Published: 2/28/2013 - Jack B., Kim C.
So you're Jack? by Call-me-Nicole reviews
Kim is new, and on her first day she beats the Black Dragons in a fight. Mean while she befriends Milton, Jerry, and Eddie who mention a Jack. for some reason Kim is curious about this stranger. Will Kim ever met this said Jack ? Will sparks fly? OR Rivalries emerge? T for sexual reference and possible cussing
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 17,819 - Reviews: 319 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 1/3/2014 - Published: 1/26/2013 - Jack B., Kim C.
The Story Of Us by hopelesslyhoping reviews
He flirts, she flirts back. She teases him, he teases her. Maybe ations do speak louder than words, but it certainly won't get them anywhere unless they can forget about their stinking pride. / A series of one-shots, eventual Jack/Kim.
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,668 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Jack B., Kim C.
Stick to the Status Quo by Joker- why so serious reviews
She's rich, he's not. He's humble, she's spoiled. They just don't go together. But, friends in need will bring them together. So what? They can handle it. Nothing will happen, everything will stay the same...or will it? Rated T for language, changing to M later on.
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 31,987 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 7/29/2013 - Published: 3/27/2013 - Jack B., Kim C.
Waiting For You by ForeverinNeverlandXO reviews
Jack Brewer was never one for the sappy love crap. Love just didn't exist in his book. He refused to believe in it and if by some chance it was real, he promised himself he would NEVER fall in love. That is until he meets Kim Crawford, the sheriff's stubborn, spontaneous, crazy, hell raising daughter. Hold on tight Jack, you're in for a wild ride...
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,100 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 7/12/2013 - Published: 11/24/2012 - Jack B., Kim C.
I Wish I Fell In Chocolate by CRaZYLoVE71 reviews
"Kim, I just don't get it. I know you like him and you've even admitted it. So why are you letting her steal your man." Joan asked. "He likes her. The feelings aren't returned. And Jack's my best friend - a great friend. He deserves to be happy...even if I'm not." She said with a sad smile.
Kickin' It - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 8,545 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 7/2/2013 - Published: 5/18/2013 - Kim C.
New Girl by something-with-meaning reviews
Heartbroken over her cheating boyfriend, Kim moves in with four single men, Eddie, Jerry, Milton and Jack. The guys try their best to get her out of the apartment and back into the dating life the help of Kims' best friend Grace, but they end up with more than they expect when they find themselves truly caring for her as a friend. Eventual Kick. New Girl, Kickin It style!
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 17,655 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 11/28/2012 - Kim C., Jack B.
Wasabi Warriors: I Fight For You by Forever. Bethany reviews
When the Bobby Wasabi Dojo suddenly closes down, the Wasabi Warriors drift apart. Soon they are all apart of cliques, Kim; who stays strong, manages to break free and fight for the Wasabi Warriors to reunite and bring the fallen dojo, back up. But with this sudden action causes a riot in the school, and Kim struggles at the surfacing new feelings directed to Jack Anderson. -HIATUS
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,487 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 4/7/2013 - Published: 10/11/2012 - Jack B., Kim C.
letters to romeo by teatart reviews
Kim Crawford had a complicated life. Her parents pay no mind to her when she explains how far she's come in her karate training. And her dojo, The Wasabi Warriors has a new recruit that shares a horrible past with her. Which makes the relationship between her and her penpal even closer but it is all too good to be true? AU.
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 37,493 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 3/21/2013 - Published: 9/8/2012 - [Jack B., Kim C.] - Complete
Don't look back in anger by Joker- why so serious reviews
Jack's gone. He left without a goodbye, and also left Kim heartbroken. Now he's back. It's only been a year, things couldn't have changed that much right? Well, he is in for a lot of surprises. Kim's changed, a lot. What will these two do now that they have reunited? Rated T for swearing, might change it to M later on.
Kickin' It - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 69,053 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 3/9/2013 - Published: 1/17/2013 - Jack B., Kim C.
The Prestigious Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy by Everything Will Be For Nothing reviews
Kim Crawford has finally been accepted to the BWMAA, a school for the most elite karate students. Kim beats the self centered, cocky, and best student Jack Brewer on her first day which leaves the entire school speechless. They are selected as partners for the big tournament against the Black Dragons Academy which doesn't sit well with Jack's ex Donna. Can she handle all of this?
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,109 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 3/4/2013 - Published: 12/23/2012 - Kim C., Jack B.
A Promise To Return To by Peace.Love.Passion.Laugh reviews
It was fate when Jack and Kim met. Becoming best friends, they learn it wasn't easy growing up especially with the growing feeling towards each other. The story of how best friends turned into lovers. They are put into an ultimate test when an incident changes everything that may break everything they shared in the last 12 years. Will their love for each other last? -Oneshot
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,311 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 30 - Published: 2/3/2013 - Kim C., Jack B. - Complete
The Trace Of Him by Peace.Love.Passion.Laugh reviews
Jack Brewer was a player. Kim had no intention to play in his game. But when Jack shows his interest in her, they slowly find themselves in a whirl of madness as they start falling for each other. Will Jack drop his player act to return Kim's feelings? This is the story of how a player and an average girl came to be. Jack/Kim -Oneshot
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,674 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 19 - Published: 1/30/2013 - Kim C., Jack B. - Complete
Crazier by StayWeird reviews
One look. That's all it takes for him to make me lose my mind. But I am so sick of the mind tricks. This is all a game Jack, and whoever falls first, looses. So bring it on. Disclaimer; I do not own Kickin it. Please Read and Review!:
Kickin' It - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,871 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 12/6/2012 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Jack B., Kim C.
Kick- Kickin' It's Jack and Kim by KAD900 reviews
This is an ongoing story of Kim & Jack's life as they begin to bond more & more while going on adventures in which they drag the other Wasabi Warriors along for the wild ride. This is my first story so as you read, you should be able to see how I've advanced in my writing through the years. DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Kickin' It. Check me out here: Twitter- @KAD900 IG- KAD900 & more.
Kickin' It - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 140,985 - Reviews: 1033 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 12/1/2012 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Jack B., Kim C., Wasabi Warriors
What Hurts the Most by thoughts like stars reviews
Being accepted to the world-renowned academy in Japan was truly an honor for Jack Anderson. But after not speaking to his fellow Wasabi Warriors for a year, what hurt him the most was saying one simple word: goodbye. / One-shot, based on Hit the Road Jack. Eventual Jack/Kim. FINAL STORY. R&R.
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,696 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 18 - Published: 9/3/2012 - Jack B., Kim C. - Complete
Perfects Overrated by StayWeird reviews
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyhond the imperfections. Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin it.
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 58,342 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 3/26/2012 - Kim C., Jack B. - Complete
The Hunt by thoughts like stars reviews
They have 21 days. To find the priceless sword that belonges to Bobby Wasabi. How hard can it be? With twenty other dojos competiting, it's gonna be fierce. Of course, The Wasabi Warriors take the summer challenge. But once you're in...you can't get out. / COMPLETE.
Kickin' It - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 127,769 - Reviews: 502 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 8/28/2012 - Published: 2/12/2012 - Kim C., Jack B. - Complete
Second Chances by yellowsunx reviews
Fate brings Kim Crawford and Jack Anderson back to each other. However, there's still the usual obstacles in their way. Will history repeat itself or will they finally realize their true feelings for one another? SEQUEL TO CRUSHABLE! Jack/Kim AU
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 32,063 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 3/25/2012 - Kim C., Jack B. - Complete
Crushable by yellowsunx reviews
Jack's mission for his senior year was to get Kim Crawford to like him back. Jack is willing to do anything and he thought he finally had his shot, but pop star Ricky Weaver comes back to town as a 'changed boy'. Will Jack be able to overcome this?
Kickin' It - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,560 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Jack B., Kim C. - Complete