name : my name is jayden

age: 15

sex: im a dude

location: i live in Queensland

hair colour really dark brown

as you can see i am not realy a good speller but i do my best

fav tv shows: i like naruto, good game, fma and

fav bands: three days grace, greenday, skillet, linken park, papa roach and holly

fav naruto parings narutoxtayuya narutoxyogito narutoxkin narutoxmei i just like these parings fo no reson

disliked parings narutoxhinata i have read to many of these storys and this couple makes no real sence to me. narutoxsakura sakura is a bitch to him and he still loves him.

i like naruto storys when he hates his parents so i anybody knows some good ones plese tell me

You say Justin Bieber-I say Escape the fate

You say Miley Cyrus-I say Skillet

You say T-Pain-I say Three days grace

You say Kanye-I say Breaking Benjamin

You say Pink-I say Ra

You say Lady Gaga-I say Linkin park

You say Hip Hop-i say Rock

You say Pop-I scream Metal

You say hanah montana-i fucking punch you in the face

92% of teenagers hav turned to Hip Hop nd Pop.If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this message to another accounts DONT LET ROCK DIE

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

:Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

-Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

-Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

-Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs

-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

-Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

-Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

- Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

-Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

-Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

-If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

-We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

-Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

-At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

-A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

-Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.

-If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

-Geico saved 15 by switching to Chuck Norris.

-If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

-They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.

-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

-Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

-The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

-The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!”

-Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.

-Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

-Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

-Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".

-Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

-Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

-Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

i belive in these laws and follow them every day

1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.

2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control

3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period.

4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full resposibility of driving his friends home)

5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.

6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.

7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.

8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.

9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.

10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.

11. No man shall ever use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then your not a man.

12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.

13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.

14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed.

15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of rock paper scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.

Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really shitty and the owner doesn't care about muddy seats.

16. It is ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.

17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.

18. You poke it you own it.

19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.

20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.

21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count.. rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.

22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E .. Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet.. or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants.. (or any other article of clothing).

23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violater of this law, should pop his collar.

24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.

25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty.

26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegitarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.

27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.

28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"

29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are seperated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.

30. Under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Lets just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch.

31. Every man should watch sportscenter at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recomended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.

32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn't mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used if said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or a UFC cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it.

33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.

34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships.

35. Women can't drive.

36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.

37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.

38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you dont agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support

39. No more crushing of empty beer cans on your forehead. modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.

40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.

42. A man will not live in his parents house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.

43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". and the right to leave the room.

44. Sex is more important then talking

45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.

46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.

47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat

48. Men will invite other men to Man Law

49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "its not their brand."

50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.

51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.

52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.

53. If you spill a man's beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup.

54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you cant drink it in said time, don't open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.

55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.

56. It is never a man's responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbor's lawn.

57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer.

58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.

59. The bachelor's party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment).

60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Its understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality.

61. A man purse is still a purse.

62. No man shall dance for fun unless its to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex.

63. Body paint is onlly acceptable on a man if its on gameday and to support his team.

64. No man shall bring a woman to the guys night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life.

65. If you do not sweat, its not a sport.

66. If a large snake catches a man offguard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once.

67. No man shall wear a beret unless its for his military service.

68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone.

69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man.

70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex.

71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story.

72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissable. Besides, sharing is caring.

73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only.

74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man.

75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.

76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men.

77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone.

78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth.

79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch.

80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice.

81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, or Ice Hockey.

82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys.

83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavored that comes in a bottle.

84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female.

85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. Anna Kournikova gets married.

86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing.

87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away.

88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man.

89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions.

90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her.

91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monicristo, CAO (Cade Mayo).

92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined.

93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. (Boots Jones)

94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.

95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.

96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".

97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50 without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400)

98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.

100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.

101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.

102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.

103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)

104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.

105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. You should know such things.

106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.

107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don't let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.

108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.

109. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.

110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.

111. If offered a Billion dollars to star in a filthy gay porno a man must accept or is he obviously gay.

112. If offered sex with multiple partners of the opposite sex who are both above a 5 on the 1-10 scale you must accept or be stripped of all man status you have obtained and you will still be in the negative of man hood. The only exception of this law is if you have STDs but only if you got them in this process in the first place.