Hello, greetings, salutations and all that garbage! Welcome to my page! I am Sam, writer, author, and purveryor of all that is the written word. I am glad you are here, because now you have the opportunity to read and perhaps review my works. No? Well then, you can at least be courteous and read my biography; the abridged version of course.

I was born in the southernmost part of Alabama at Fort Rucker, a dreary place for all manner of life, especially babies. I was a healthy, fat, giggling infant who came into this world at 9 lbs. 9 oz, something for which my mother still hasn't forgiven me. My family and I did not spend much time at the Fort, moving to California soon after my birth. Needless to say I was not consulted in the matter, because I never would have consented to living in the ghastly city of Monterey. Unfortunately I was too young to remember much, only that they had delicious clam chowder I was denied it. Something about a choking hazard, which is poppycock.

After about a year we moved again, since my father was in the military, to Indiana, another glorious time I have no recollection of. From city to city we hopped, never staying for long, never making many friends. Finally we were brutally shipped overseas to Germany, land of beer and snow. I can vaguely recall some of the more prominent events that occurred here, such as getting my hand crushed by a bowling ball, falling off a playground roof, and other such fun activities. It wasn't long though before we were again thrust elsewhere by that ass Uncle Sam. Only joking of course, but still I was resentful. After Germany it was Virginia, land of nothing in particular. I all but refused to make friends, since I guessed we would be moving again before long. I was proven right (again) and to Huntsville, Alabama we came. My mother was escatic, since this is where she grew up, but I was annoyed and most singularly irritated. After a decade of cold weather, God saw fit to place in the middle of hell on earth. A cooling autumn afternoon is about 90.

As you can tell, life has been a roller coaster of events, opportunities, disappointments, triumphs and snafu's. If I have any luck in this world, my life will continue in the same way, because after 16 years of roller coasters, I couldn't bear anything else.