Kaze Amaya
 Author has written 7 stories for Soul Eater, Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club, Misc. Games, and Hetalia - Axis Powers. I am Kaze, I am female, and I will probably only look at yaoi on this site, rarely skimming fanfic's of my favorite straight pairings. :P I love yaoi, sue me Also, if you're interested in Hetalia and like role playing, why not come check out the group I'm in? Hetaロールプレイ (HetaRōrupurei) is a 100% free Hetalia roleplay website. RPs here also include 2Ptalia, Nyotalia, AU and Nekotalia. Yaoi and Yuri are allowed. As well as smut, hentai and swearing. I am in Hufflepuff! More about me Age: I have many ages :P Sex: If you read the top, you shall know What country am I? (Hetalia): Italy What I like to do in free time: Watch anime, read manga, read fanfics of my favorite pairings, draw, sing, and dance, and listen to music (Usually the same song an almost uncountable amount of times) Favorite bands: BOTDF (Blood On The Dance Floor), Owl City, Delhi 2 Dublin, Cobra Starship, My Chemical Romance, and any other band with songs I like Favorite songs: I have too many, sorry :P Favorite song at the moment: The Show by Lenka Favorite genre(s): Manga: Romance (esepcially yaoi romance), Action, Sci-fi, and Comedy Anime: Comedy, Romance, Yaoi, Action, Sci-fi, and Fantasy (Real life takes this away from me when I leave my beautiful laptop ;-;) TV: I rarely watch it (due to my obsession with watching anime and reading manga online) so no answer :P Movies: Comedy, Romance, Anime Anything else you want to say, Kaze?: Nope, other than, Kaze isn't my real name. Much less Kaze Amaya. It's just a name (Japanese, of course) that I like. I'm never giving anyone my real name unless I have met them in real life and they're my friend or something. Sorry if I dissapoint you, but no spamming my facebook :P Is that all?: Yes... Wait no! My pen name means something along the lines of Wind (Kaze) Night rain (Amaya). Soo yeah. That is all. Fun stuff time 8D I write like; I think the sky should be orange. How come we drive on parkways, but park on driveways? Or why are apartments called 'apartments' when they're all stuck together? Lemonade tastes good. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is also wondering, "Is there a letter in the alphabet that can't be pronounced without another, other than E? Like... B would be... be or bee..." Crazy is when you run into a wall on accident and then run into it again on purpose. Crazy is when you loose an argument with yourself, and then are glad later on that you lost because you were wrong. Crazy is when you start talking with another person, then start mumbling to yourself for about half a minute and then go back to your conversation like it was nothing. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! The complete, You Know You Are Obsessed With Hetalia When... list 1. You start laughing hysterically at maps 2. You go "Aww" when you see two or more flags together 3. You've learned more history (Austria-Hungary Compromise, WWII) from it than from an actual history class 4. You debate about details like whether the number on America's back is supposed to be 50 or 96...with supporting screenshots 5. You watch APH MADs (Music videos/parodies) 6. You got a Nico Nico Douga account despite not knowing a single word of Japanese so you could watch even more APH MADs. 7. You dress up in a scarf and party hat and sit behind a receptionist's desk for Halloween. 8. World War II starts sounding romantic. 9. Your teacher asks why you put "Alfred F. Jones" as the answer instead of America, and why you drew a small heart and the name "Arthur" beside it. 10. You yell "Yeah, he's the hero!" whenever someone says America. 11. You misread UK as UKE every single time, and have started mispronouncing it in actual conversation. 12. You know every country's flag and location, and people think you must be a huge history nerd, and really, you've become one. 13. You shudder every time you hear the name "Russia" or "Ivan" and quickly glance over your shoulder...just in case. 14. Whenever you see a fellow Hetalia fan, you shout, "Germaaaannnnyyyyy!" down the hallway. 15. You write down your favorite pairings all over your history lecture notes, leaving others to wonder what "USxUK" means. 16. You end every sentence with "aru." 17. You scream 'paaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaaa' every time you happen to have some. 18. You can't imagine a functioning Italian mafia. 19. You want Prussia back on the map. 20. You can no longer say "international affairs" with a straight face. 21. No one can mention a country without you thinking about what they look like in Hetalia. 22. You read a historical book and think it would make a good fanfic. 23. Other people don't get it when you say your country's cute. 24. You've listened to Romano's Delicious Tomato Song like...80 billion times. 25. You're a duke/duchess of Sealand. 26. You've become a thousand times more patriotic 27. You remember Canada Day BEFORE the 4th of July, as in, you completely forget about America's birthday. (and you're American)* 28. You want to learn every single language in the world. Even the weird ones. 28. You recognize which flag belongs to which country, while everyone just looks at you funny. 29. Everyone who's named Alfred, Arthur, Peter, Matthew, and Francis is forever linked to Hetalia. 30. You have a Hetalia character theme on Google Chrome* (or other browsers, I have a N.Italy theme) 31. You spend more time looking in English speaking forums than in your native language forums because there's more Hetalia-related material there. 32. If you speak English then you're seriously considering learning Japanese to read the (still) non-translated strips... 33. You make appropriate doodles all over your history notes with the APH characters so they'll make more sense to you. 34. You always tell your fellow hetalia fan friends to "become one with mother russia" and even the non-hetalia fans 35. When you start nicknaming friends after countries they remind you of. 37. You take a sudden interest in sunflowers 8D 38. You think the USA should change the name to "The United States of Alfredia". 39. You watch the news just so you can find good stuff to request in the kink meme. 40. You would name your pet after your favorite Hetalia character. 41. You would name your UNBORN CHILDREN after your favorite Hetalia character. 42. When assembling your Ikea furniture, you see a Made in Finland sticker on it and think, "Aw, the wife helps him make the furniture." 42. When making Christmas cookies, instead of putting on normal icing, you put Hetalia chibi faces. 43. When your mom thinks you are obsessed with world peace. 44. When you get a 117% A in your History class. 45. When you randomly start going "KOLKOLKOL" when angry. 46. When you want your own country to exist in the Hetalia world. 47. When you smile when hearing France. 48. When you squeal as you saw a country's name somewhere in the place. 49. When you want to know what scones taste like. (I already do, and I personally like them :3) 50. When you wish they were all real. 51. Your obsession with world history is multiplied to the power of PRUSSIA! 52. You consider Prussia as a number. (BECAUSE PRUSSIA IS AWESOME) 53. You make random Hetalia references in the middle of a conversation. 54. You nod your head and giggle like a crazy fangirl with each entry on this list. 55. When you surf through the World News on Yahoo and the only thing you can think about is how these would make good one-shot Hetalia fics/fanart. 56. Your mother thinks you have something against Poland after you tell the same Polish jokes countless of times. 57. Sing bouno tomato every time you see a tomato.. 58. You’re in denial that Prussia was dissolved after WWII. 59. You call baby chicks..gilbirds.. 60. Demand that hello kitty should have a mouth.. 61. You really really want your history teacher to watch hetalia... 62. Laugh every time you see the Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, or Florida. 63. There are two Italy's!! 64. When you want to hug a freakin landmass!! 65. When you keep telling people youll invade their vital regions... 66. You memorize all the characters' birthdays and make sure to celebrate them in some shape or form. 67. You think of Hetalia when you see this: 68. You put a Hetalia reference in all of your school projects. 69. When you wonder why the polar bear at the zoo isn't talking to you. 70. When the Great Depression all of a sudden seems hilarious to you, " Your ass is MINE, America" 71. When you explain that when the aliens attack, the first to go will be the British. 72. When you scream “Happy Birthday Alfred” and/or “Take that Arthur” on the Fourth of July in a large crowd of people and are proud when they give you the WTF look. 73. When you know what Sealand is and people find you weird for telling them he’s a little kid in a blue sailor suit that was for sale on eBay. 74. When seeing the new Harry Potter movie the second time, the only thing you can think of is the infamous spoiler written all over England’s torso. 75. When you feel yourself tearing-up while discussing the American Revolution. 76. When you expect the Polish exchange student to be a cross-dressing valley girl. 77. When “True Italian Spirit” is only another way to say “We Surrender”. 78. When the song “Santa Clause is coming to Town” seems like an odd rip-off of something that was written for Russia. 79. When you correct someone talking about a new discovery of some kind, telling them “Korea already invented that”. 80. When you find the song "Canada's really Big" or any other references to country's sizes amusingly inappropriate. 82. You can tell America and…um…oh yeah, Canada apart! 83. You WANT to watch the news and the Olympics. 84. You smile when you see labels like ‘Made in China’ or ‘Made in Russia’. 85. Globes are now action figures. 86. Talking about the 'continental drift theory' about pangea in geographyhistory class makes you giggle uncontrollably. 87. You take history class just to understand Hetalia more. 88. You fangirl squee at the mention of WWII. 89. You believe that some one’s personality will correspond with the country that they came from. 90. You think that hamburgers should be The United State’s national food. 91. You have started eating more pasta to make a tribute to Italy. 92. You think of Italy when you eat pasta, America when you eat hamburgers, Russia while drinking vodka, etc… 93. You tend to avoid anyone who is Russian because you are afraid or their cracked mentality. 94. You start styling your hair after Italy’s. 95. Or anyone else’s hair. 96. You own a character costume. 97. You have cosplayed as a character before. 98. You have thought of cosplaying as a character before. 99. You know Marukaite Chikyuu word for word…In more than one language. 100. You know the words to any Hetalia song. 101. You have a Hetalia song as your favorite song. 102. You have made up your own ending for a country that does not have one yet. 103. You obsessively wait for each new episode to be released. 104. You have uploaded one of the songs to Youtube. 105. You plan on going to a foreign country in hopes that you will see your favorite character. 106. You have written a fanfiction for APH. 107. You have read a fanfiction for APH. 108. You draw APH fanart. 109. You tell people Austria put Italy in a maid costume when Austria own Italy. 110. You ask if countries are “married” when they form a union. 111. You worry for a country’s health when their stocks go down. 112. You scribbled the name “England” on your notebook with little hearts next to it. 113. You demand that Prussia becomes a country again because he was to awesome. 114. You fully believe that Prussia is the most awesome country…ever. 115. You tell people their eyebrows are similar to England’s. 116. You never let anyone sit down because their chair might be Busby’s chair. 117. You tell people the answer to global warming is building a big hero to protect the Earth. 118. You demand everyone you know to become one with Russia. 119. You ARE one with Russia. 120. You have drawn a half-smile on a Hello Kitty plush. 121. When wars seem to become hilarious. 122. You claim that aliens do exist..and live with America. 123. You debate who would win in arm wrestling- the allies or the axis? 124. You raise your hand in class just to scream “PASTAAA!” 125. You yell “Pastaa!” anywhere in public. 126. You start planting sunflowers. 127. You spend a full day searching the Hetalia wiki to learn about the characters 128. You knit yourself a cream-coloured scarf just like Russia’s. 129. You start noticing all of the China jokes. 130. You hate South Korea for demanding Im Yong Soo to be removed. 131. You started a petition to get South Korea on the Anime show or have signed one. 132. You have completed all of the Hetalia memes. 133. You claim to have married a country. 134. You know every pairing in the book. 135. You created a pairing (or more…). 136. You wish Rome was your grandfather. 137. You spend day after day trying to find rape faces in the manga. 138. When you want a tomato, you say “Spain! Get me a tomato, damnit!” 139. Sink Faucets now fascinate you. 140. You tell people that Germany was just misunderstood during WWII. 141. You now refer to Germany as “Doitsu”. 142. You believe every Austrian is an angry musical genius. 143. You own a world map…that only shows America. 144. You never want to go to England because you are afraid of their food. 145. You claim to have seen fairies and unicorns. 146. You can put a curse on somebody you hate. 147. You can’t roast marshmallows on the campfire anymore. It feels like summoning the devil to you. 148. You spend day after day trying to figure out how Germany is connected to HRE or if he is HRE. 149. You dream of becoming your own country. 150. You refer to every country’s king/queen/president/etc as their “boss”. 151. You have taken it to yourself to create OC’s for countries not represented in Hetalia. 156. You now know that the neutral men are the scariest. 157. Wursts have now replaced sausages. 158. The axis powers seem so much better than the allies in your eyes. 159. You believe that Italy can make men gay…for him. 160. You make “Happy Birthday” cards for all of the nation’s birthdays. 161. You have tried numerous times to figure out what “Hetalia” actually means. (I've learned it is a mixture of the Japanese word Hera meaning useless and Italia - Italy) 162. You do needlepoint now because England does it. 163. Every time anybody mentions any object you tell them “that was created in Korea, you know…” 164. You have a conniption fit every time somebody refers to China as a “she”. (Hidekaz actually never gave China a fixed gender….) 165. Planes suddenly interest you. 167. Jiiiii is a word in your vocabulary. 168. You wonder why Italy opens his eyes only once or twice during the entire Anime/Manga. 169. Large eyebrows and big noses are suddenly very appealing to you. (When it's iggy, yes. Others, probably not) 170. You know the WWII uniform of every nation. 171. You now mass-produce white flags. 172. You use chairs and pans as weapons. 173. You know where every nation’s erogenous zone is. 174. Germany is a saint in your eyes. 176. When the teacher calls on you during class and instead of answering his question you take up the whole period explaining what happened during WWII. 177. If you had your life's nightmare and it was about Hetalia. 178. When you laugh if a country’s “vital regions” are discussed in the news/media. 179. When you question why only a few countries use Japanese as the foremost language. 180. When in a conversation about APH, you specifically use both country and human names to confuse the people around you. 181. When you walk into a Hello Kitty store and ask where the Shinatty-Chan merchandise is. 182. When you take time out of your day to look up country relationships on Wikipedia. 183. When you have to remind people that Hong Kong is NOT the capital of China. 184. When others ask you what you mean by “England is so cute when he’s Tsundere.” 185. When you find yourself thinking the best conversation you’ve ever heard is: Italy: France nii-san, what is intercourse? France: Don’t you know, Ita-chan? It’s what you do with someone you like. So…do you like me? 185. When you correct your history teacher, telling them that the pact of steal between Germany and Italy was actually a pinky swear. 186. When you have full-out and vicious debates on what side (the Axis or Allies) would win in a fist fight. 187. When you imagine, when in a state of insane exhilaration or any kind of insanity emotion, you have the same menacing purple aura that often haunts Russia when he’s “happy.” 188. When a tomato crate seems like the best hiding place during a war. 189. When you know the songs “Fat na kare”, “Oyayubi no Tsukaikata”, “Makka na Ito”, “Yokan”, “Gibusu”, “Lion”, “Tetsukazu No Sekai” and “Utsukushii Namae”, have downloaded them onto your itunes and listen to them daily. (These songs saved me, I listened to them so much when compiling this list. X3) 190. When you try to convince your history teacher to play Chibitalia episodes when learning about the Austrian Wars. 191. When, upon looking at your youtube favorites, you find that APH videos have filled up at least two pages of space. 192. When you realize there’s always someone underneath the cute mascot uniforms. 193. When you discover the joys of the Sexy Waiter outfit. 194. When you explain to others that condoms are the best weapons in psychological warfare. 195. When you want your own pink kitty backpack. 196. When “Flower-Egg” seems like the best name for your new puppy. 197. When England wearing America’s jacket is probably one of the best things that’s ever happened to you. 198. When, upon being scolded by a teacher when caught watching/reading APH in class, you explain that you're merely studying for you History exam. 199. When you watch movies/plays/musicals/etc., place APH characters in the roles and plan you're parody fanfiction of it. 200. When you automatically think of mochimerica when you see something of the same shape/color. 201. When Shinatty-chan becomes a frequent doodle on your notebook and you have to explain that it is not hello kitty, but a fat, old guy in a hello kitty imitation outfit. 202. When you spout random facts about various countries and revel in the fact that no one else knows about them. 203. When you have a French exchange student, and you expect them to be just like France... and are fascinated that, yes they are. 204. When you suddenly take great pleasure in learning about your lineage and relating it to Hetalia characters. 205. When you start assigning your best friends countries and when you get together you call it a "World Conference." 206. When said friends start forming the pairings you support. 207. When suddenly the image of America is no longer of Uncle Sam or Lady Liberty in your head. 208. You can’t think the word ‘invade’ anymore you just say ‘rape’ 209. You call the countries by their human names. 210. You make all your friends take quizzes to see what country they are and then you call them by their country name. 211. You surf the internet, and scan your history books for anything to support your favorite shippings. 212. When people say Hetalia is gay you scream “You’re just mad because Holy Roman Empire didn’t love you!” 213. You know what Prussia is. 214. You try to convince people that you are the hero. 215. McDonalds is your home away from home. 216. You get mad when your friends/family refuses to call you by your country name. 217. Starbucks thinks you’re crazy because when they ask your name you just say your country. (I'm Italy!) 218. You take pride in whichever side your country was in (Axis or Allied.) 220. You throw tomatoes at people. 221. You dress up in a panda suit and stalk people. 222. You get insulted when people think Chibitalia is a girl. 223. You screamed when HRE kissed Chibitalia. 224. You refuse to believe that Germany and Italy are not meant to be. 225. You walk around with chickens. 226. You have ordered a character cosplay a year in advanced for a con. (The wig, I'm making mine) 227. Your Youtube and dA pages have Hetalia plastered all over them. 228. You think Germany is sexy, Russia is cute, and Prussia is awesome. 229. You get angry when people don’t notice Canada. 230. When you listen to a song you put the song with a character from Hetalia. 231. Your history teacher is afraid to say “America” in class because you end up yelling “America F*k yeah!” 232. You carry around a white flag. 233. And when someone says to put it away you say “But it’s part of my religion…” 234. You hide any time you hear a girl say “Marry me.” 235. You walk around in a sailor suit. 236. You play the piano to show your emotions. 237. You can’t stop shaking when you are at an Italian restaurant. 238. You wear a mask, and glare at any Greeks. 239. You have a secret stash of porn videos in your house. 240. You decided to wear a scarf everywhere even if it’s a blazing hot outside. 241. You constantly tell your family you’re going to invade them if they get on your nerves. 242. You get sent to therapy for crying hysterically and yelling at the tv/computer when HRE had to leave Chibitalia. 243. You can’t stop talking to your therapist about your secret plan for taking over every country and having them become one with you. 244. You then get kicked out of therapy for showing up one day with only a rose on. 245. When you eat at Italian restaurants you ask to talk to “Feliciano/N.Italy” and if Ludwig is with him. 246. You are all of a sudden obsessive with cats. 247. You call yourself “awesome” every chance you get. 248. You carry around a bear of some sort. 249. Alfred is your new Hero. 250. You clean your entire house in a maid costume. 251. You clean your friend’s house, still in a maid costume. 252. You sit on your computer for hours waiting for the new APH episode to become English subbed. 253. You interview people about Christmas. 254. When people try to hurt you, you scream “I’m sorry I’m sorry! Don’t hurt me please, I have relatives living in [insert were you live here]! Germany, Germany, save me!” 255. You like red now. 256. You think the cold war between America and Russia was really a fight to see who is on top. 257. You grow out your eye brows. 258. You carry around your favorite character/nations flag. 259. You can talk about nothing but Hetalia. 260. You are over-protective of your little brother. 261. You love to give hugs/kisses. 262. You try to get everyone around you to strip in gym class. 263. You get angry at people who talk about Sealand not being a country. 264. Hetalia comes up in every topic. 265 You start a Hetalia club. 266. You wear glasses just to look like Alfred. 267. You try your hardest to look like your older brother. 268. You just became a cross dresser. 269. You like pyramids a bit too much. 270. You wear a large iron cross necklace. 271. When you dress up as santa you wear a blonde wig, and only have a cape and hat, and demand to be called Finland. 271. You downloaded all the Hetalia endings and put them all on your ipod/mp3 player. 272. You jump out of a plane and yell “vodka” on the way down 273. You started to drink tea with every meal 274. Your dream is to live in a warm place filled with sun flowers 275. The song “We didn’t start the fire” makes you laugh 276. You cheer for your favorite characters when you watch international sports! (Or the Olympics!) 277. If an art teacher tells you to draw the Earth, you just draw a circle. 278. You drink from your boot. 279. You call your grandpa Roman Empire. 280. Instead of studying for a History test, you just watch Hetalia. 281. You say "I live in the united states of Alfred!" 282. When you hear someone talking about the merging of France and England you suddenly screamed "HE WAS FORCED I TELL YOU, FORCED!" 283. You keep Machiavelli in your suitcase to prepare for war. 284. All your friends build sand castles, and you build giant plates of spaghetti. 285. You can't wait till you're in heaven or hell. 286. You point out every country you know on a map and talk about them. 287. You see a bunch of country flags and point at them while screaming "HETALIA!! HEATLIA!!" 288. When you answer the phone you say "Doitsu! Doitsu!" 289. You carry around a lead pipe. 290. You suggest to your history teacher that the class watch Hetalia when studying World War II. 291. The only reason you know anything about World War II is because of Hetalia. 292. You nominate every day as 'Hetalia Day.' 293. The only reason you like History is because of Hetalia. 294. You draw Hetalia characters all over your history notes. 295. You call people "Potato Bastard." 296. You study history when you're suppose to study physics and chemistry. 297. Your room has hello Kitty, even if you're a boy, and you scream that Hello Kitty is for real MEN like Wang Yao! 298. When talking about WWII, you can't help but imagine the characters running around with water guns. 299. You smile when you hear about alliances on the news. 300. You relate everyday items to Hetalia (Maple syrup, roses, McDonalds, bad cooking, ect, ect...) 301. When you start laughing randomly in US history when your teacher says terms like "Non-Intercouse Act" and "America invaded Canada." 302. Every time when you find out that your nation was some history with a foreign nation, you start pairing them up. 303. You have converted to Yaoism because of Hetalia. (I was for yaoi before, but now that went up ten times more) 304. Your mom stares at you when you complain that her cooking is worse than England's. 305. You thought about Finland in a Santa costume at least once on Christmas Day. 306. You stayed up all night Christmas Eve waiting for Finland to arrive. 307. Made an account on MangaFox just to reply to this thread... 308. When you watch King Arthur, and you see him trying to breaking free from Rome, you can't help but giggle/grin. 309. When watching movies based on the 9th-14th century you can't help but smile at the mention of Rome, France and England, especially when they're up against each other in war. 310. When you find an "Edict from the King of Prussia" in your lit book and freak out. (Or: when you get excited every time someone mentions Prussia.) ...and then are extraordinarily disappointed when it's not actually from the king of Prussia ...but when you realize it's even funnier that America tried to get Prussia to tax England during the Revolution, you draw a comic about it. 311. You can't refer to nations as its or shes (excepting Hungary, Liechtenstein, etc). 312. Your dad now thinks APH is pretty darn cool. 313. You laughed out loud when your dad talked about an alternate-history version of the Kalmar Union where "it was Sweden dominating Denmark, and not Denmark dominating." 314. When you draw eyebrows on the country of England when were bored in history class. 315. When you know more about Prussia then your world history teacher. 316. When you ask your history teacher about the things you seen in Hetalia and actually start a debate about it. 317. When you write a love letter to a country and ask a friend who's going there for vacation to give the love letter to such country. 318. When you can't look at a history book with a straight face. 319. When you want to compare England's food with every other country's own dishes. 322. The Roman Empire has become "Roma-jii-chan" in your notes, or RJC for short. 323. Ancient Greece is Mama Greece in your notes. 324. The UK, or England, has become Iggy in your notes. 325. As you were reading the lists in this thread, you kept nodding/smiling/laughing like a maniac. 326. You’re still reading this list. 327. You get upset when your favorite characters aren't included in MADs, quizzes, etc. 328. It makes you sad that some characters (Prussia-sama, Greece, Sweden, etc.) don't get much screen time. 329. You want to find people that are the Bad Friends Trio. 330. You want to make your own BFT with two other people. 331. You've used "PRUSSIA INVADES YOUR VITAL REGIONS!" to win an argument. 332. Pasta will forever be associated with "PAAASTAAAAA!" 333. Your bookmark says "(Name of your favorite country) is here." 334. You feel like you're betraying your own country when you declare that you are/your favorite is a different one, then realize that you don't care. 335. Due to fanfiction, you can now imagine one or more male characters in a frilly maid outfit. 336. When you make your own china town in your closet. 337. When you actually show your history teacher Hetalia. 338. When you start comparing your favorite country to yourself, family, and friends, or just random people near you. 339. When you say to yourself "I never knew my country was so sexy!!" 340. Now when you look at any white cloth you start to laugh. 341. Every time you look at a wooden chair, you laugh and think of England. 342. When you're on vacation in the Bahamas and act like you're stranded on an island. 343. when you're at the beach and you doodle Hetalia chibis in the sand or make a bowl of pasta out of the sand. 344. You sabotage someone else’s artwork on the board and making everyone in the room think, "Who did that?" 345. When your history teacher asks you to name all of the Axis and Allied countries, you get all of them correct in perfect order 346. When your history teacher talks about the war between England and America, you get sudden flash backs from the show and go "Aw" 347. Every time you eat McDonalds you imagine America saying "I'm loving' it" while eating a hamburger 348. When you go get Chinese and see the stir fry pan and ladle, you think about how china owned Germany and Japan in episode 349. You never get tired of talking, watching, reading, singing, breathing, or living Hetalia 350. When you think everything is made in Korea. 351. The mention of five meters and vital regions will make you laugh so hard. 352. Always type PRUSSIA in big letters. 353. You declare Lithuania to be your favorite country in the world despite not knowing anything about it. 354. Switzerland is now the most badass country EVER. 355. Whenever you hear the word French maid you think of Francis in a skirt... 356. You explain to your friends how French Envelope is another way to say Condom. 357. You explain to your friends that Rubber is the British way of saying Eraser. 358. Screaming out country's names is now a hobby (ITALIA!!!! AMERICA!!! IGIRISU!!!! DOITSU!!! NIPPON!!!! OH MY GWAD IT'S RUSSIA!!!!) 359. You imagine all Swiss people have shotguns to shoot people streaking across their lawns... 360. You made a MapleStory (private server) avatar for Switzerland, Egypt, America, Lithuania, Poland, Austria, Taiwan, China, Russia, and Liechtenstein... 361. You try obsessively to get your friends and relatives into the show. 362. Invaded my vital regions has become your favorite quote. 363. Watched these (and made the playlist for them) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymn5K...11CB8E&index=2 364. Tried to make a version of the ending song in your native language...failed because Cantonese is much too difficult in terms of pronunciation. 365. You go on Hidekaz's blog every hour to check for any updates 366. Whenever you pass an automatic sliding door you think Canada is opening it for you. 367. You get a white dog and name it (bloody) Hanatomago. 368. You would give pasta or ice cream as a birthday gift. 369. You can never stop looking over your shoulder, since Russia might be there… 370. Whenever someone mentions British butlers your mind goes to a dirty place. 371. You can't think about anything with the word French in it with a straight face. 372. You now confuse your parents because now you want to talk about history at the dinner table. 373. You now want to spend a lot of money on old maps and globes that show "joined countries". 374. Your battle cry is VODKAAAA in honor of Russia. (No, Mine is "PAAASTAAAAAA") 375. When you get treated like an escapee from the crazy house by your waxer when you tell them that you need your eyebrows waxed. They are starting to look like England’s. 376. When your goal in life is to sit on Busbys chair...and survive. (It actually exists.) 377. When you talk to your favorite character in their native language. (I am learning Italian JUST because of Feli in Hetalia) 378. When you are constantly repressing the urge to giggle while sitting in German class and the teacher starts talking about German history. 379. When you’re in German class you accidently refer to German as a he or use Der as its article (in German the articals are der die or das, male female or neutral respectively) 380. When you read as much APH doujin as possible no matter how mentally scarring. 381. You are still reading this. 382. When you no longer feel awkward about pairing counries! 383. When you try to come up with matching catch phrases for the countries KARTOFFLN! 384. When you get weird looks from your teachers when they hear you say "America needs to get into England’s pants." 385. When you watch The Young Victoria, and at the scene of the marriage between her and Prince Albert, all you think about is England and Germany getting married. 386. When you actually miss Global History 387. When you feel awesome about living in a country that is portrayed as a goofball in the series. 388. When you want to go to England just to try the food. 389. When you refuse to brush out/comb out your bed head because one strand of hair is sticking out exactly like Italy's ahoge. 390. When you mistake the Italia in Italia Iron Chef showdown as Hetalia. (Or Italy's name) 391. You read this whole entire list, and it probably took you an hour or two. 392. You skipped meals, and sat in front of the computer for hours compiling this list. (It took me 2 hours :D) Yaoi poem If Yaoi were vodka If: is represented as: then: H A R D W O R K K N O W L E D G E but: A T T I T U D E and: So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, And look how far this will take you... A S S K I S S I N G Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :) Good friends and Best friends A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down... A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, " You will die in seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?" A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run -bitch - run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good freind Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best freind Loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance. A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them. A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me. A good freind hides me from the cops. A best freind is probably the reason they are after me in the first place. A good freind lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best freind is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too. A good freind is only through school/college. A best freind is for life. OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years.No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. Please read I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or QUOTES ON MY INSANITY People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure I’ve lost my mind. But crazy people don’t know they’re crazy so I guess I’m okay. But thinking I’m okay because I think I’m crazy is saying I don’t think I’m crazy so I may be crazy. Girls Don't Realize These Things -- I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you QUOTES ABOUT ME You're intoxicated by my very presence. I’m bored…run for your sanity. Copy-Paste Section :D Adults always blame our generation, but have they ever stopped to think who raised us? Copy and paste if you agree! -A large percent of writers don't know the difference between: If your memory is so bad that OTHER people remember more things about you than YOU do, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love dancing, copy and paste this into your profile. If you twitch everytime you read an error in a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile. (Proofread, people! Or please get a beta! It really does help and I'm sure there are plenty of people willing to help you!) If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. I'm a fanfiction reader and writer, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile. I'm an anime watcher/a manga reader, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile. I have dreams about being in an anime/a manga, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile. If you are an Internet addict and may need rehab, copy and paste this to your profile. If spend most of your life on the Internet, copy and paste this to your profile. If you get hyper off of sugar or other hyper friends, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are random when you're happy, copy and paste this to your profile. If your personality is a combo of different fictional characters, copy and paste this to your profile. If you love copying and pasting stuff to your profile just for fun, copy and paste this to your profile. I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile. If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever talked to inanimate objects like they were people, and then tried to get others to do it too, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get bored easily post this on your profile. If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have ever had the sudden desire to own a tazer, copy and paste this into your profile!! If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile If your friends are WEIRD put this on your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have a teacher who doesn't know what the heck there doing and you hate them because they annoy you paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you would kill to have wings, post on profile. If you have ever tried to grow wings, post this too Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever had a dream and forgotten what it was about before the dream even ended, copy and paste If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile. If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile. If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile If you have an obsession, post this on your profile to tell all those who think that you aren't normal to get stuffed, because obsession RULES! If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile. If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have something else stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you've ever wondered what you're like in a parallel universe, put this on your profile. If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile. A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this on your profile If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you have a long list of fictional book/ movie characters that you are in love with, copy and paste this into your profile If you often plan painful and hilarious murders, copy and pate this into your profile If you're one of those people who get excited when you have just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you think Chibi's are adorable, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been the only one to think some really stupid joke was funny, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with writing fanfics for certain pairings or reading them, copy this into your profile If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile If you've ever ran into a lamppost or some other blatantly obvious metal pole, copy this into your profile. If you're the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday copy and paste this into your profile If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profileFuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile. If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table or wall for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered why you exist and/or why your name is what it is then copy and paste this to your profile If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If ever you find yourself talking, and then suddenly you realize that you don't know what you are saying, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (My Personal Record is 17 Hours. Is that bad?) If you spend time reading such things as these and find the as intriguing as I, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile. If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and paste this to your profile. If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this. If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile. If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile. 93% of american teens would have a severe emotinal break-down if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 that would ask,"What was your first clue?" Then copy and paste this onto your profile. Put this Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! . () () Awesome Quotes
Don’t follow in my footsteps. I tend to run into walls. Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi. I didn’t trip. I was just testing gravity. Guess what? It works. Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense. Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature. Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. Most good judgement comes from experience. Most experience comes from bad judgement. Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine. Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life. An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far, so good!" You can't have everything... where would you put it? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. In theory there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door shut. I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned. Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children. Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder, but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder. The pen is mightier than the sword, and so much easier to write with. If you do it you’ll regret it, if you don’t do it you’ll regret it, either way your going to regret it, so you might as well just do it. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Britains are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. A day without sunshine is like... night. Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. I'm not insane... I just do what the voices tell me to. What happens when we get to scared half to death twice? You know it's gonna be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you lemons... squirt them in people's eyes and run. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA to make them SUPER LEMONS! When life gives you lemons, sit down and read the damn things! Why is abbreviated such a long word? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of its nose? Who was the first person who looked at a cow and say "I think I will squeeze those dangly things here and drink what comes out"? All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. If everything seems to be going well, you’ve obviously overlooked something. Of course I’m talking to myself! Who else can I trust? Don’t mess with me- I’ve got a stick and I’m not afraid to hit you with it. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Children... you spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. I couldn't fix your brakes so I made your horn louder Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 'Nuff said. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez! Cow farts are responsible for the emission of most of the planet's methane gas. If you think that those vegetarian people are actually polluting more than the normal cow-consuming person, copy and paste this into your profile, and then go eat a hamburger. -This statement is endorsed by Alfred F. Jones The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide. If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. GIRL COMEBACKS!! Boy Girl “Where have you been all my life?” “Are you an angel from heaven?” “Your place or mine?” “Your feisty, I like that.” “My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats.” “I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages.” "Did it hurt when you fell down from Heaven?" "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" "Is this seat empty?" "So, what do you do for a living?" "Hey baby, what's your sign?" "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Your body is like a temple." "I would go to the end of the world for you." "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together" "Your eyes they're amazing." "Hey, are you single?" Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!" Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!" Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending. Turn to someone near you (ie in front, behind, beside) and whisper "Have you become a conspiracy theorist since you started watching? ... the CIA are watching you. NO! Don't turn around! they'll know that you know that they are watching you!" WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Nintendo DS/i. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Damn this!" and walk out triumphantly. 14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go party.) 15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the Phantom of the Opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get Pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin humming the theme to Star Wars. 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant roach into the room and release it on a nearby student. 39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 42. Dress like the professor. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. 23 Ways To Annoy People In An Elevator 1) CRACK open your bag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re 7) SAY DING! at each floor. 8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when someone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?” 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other 14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and 21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist. 22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it. 23) When the lift is going down scream “We’re all gonna die!!!” 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE 2. My mother taught me RELIGION 3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL 4. My mother taught me LOGIC 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT 7. My mother taught me IRONY 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS 9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA 11. My mother taught me WEATHER 12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY 13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION 15. My mother taught me: ENVY 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION 17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING 18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE 19. My mother taught me: ESP 20. My mother taught me: HUMOUR 21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT 22.My Mother taught me: GENETICS 23. My Mother taught me: about my ROOTS 24. My Mother taught me: WISDOM 25. My mother taught me: about JUSTICE 30 Good Reasons why GIRLS are always the BEST 1. We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. Its possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We have ways of getting what we want easily. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. If we act like a guy, we're called tough. But if a guy acts like a girl... well... who's the weakling now? 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We have style. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 30. There's the saying "Ladies first." A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. Interesting and insane laws: Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.) It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...) It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Whoever passed this law was obviously half-asleep.) It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight. (Lol...) It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. (Oh great. Looks like we'll have to wait an extra hour to have lunch then.) It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it. (In that case most of the world should be locked up in prison.) It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. (I'm sure we'll all be thinking of our stomachs when the building's on fire.) It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday. (Makes sense if you think about it, but on first impression...) It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns. (This might be better off in the "Only in America" section.) It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (A pity. That's a novelty I'd pay money to see.) It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (Strange, but not illogical until you take into account that there is no coastline at all in the state in which this is a law...) It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. (AHH! HELP! FIRE!) The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Whoever came up with this? We should give him a Nobel Prize for such a masterful logical conclusion.) 16 things to do in Walmart. 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a Japanese food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: I hate these things (bold apply to me) Im SKINNY so I MUST be Anorexic I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. Copy this to your profile if you agree that Steriotypes are unfair, and highlight any that you belong to. PS: DON'T JUDGE CAUSE I LOVE YAOI. IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND SPARKLY AND YOU SEE GUYS BEING AWESOME AND GIRLY AND SHIZZ! :L |
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