From Alexiel’s Eyes

My name is Alexiel, the Organic Archangel; the twin sister to the Inorganic Archangel Rociel. Everyone knows me as beautiful but sinister…yet they don’t know who I truly am. Rociel shows everyone his prominence, by forming conspiracies and killing humans for no reason, simply because he can. Yet here I am, alone, sitting here in my private garden, the Garden of Eden. I asked a favor from Adam Kadamon to give me a spell that would allow me to go back in time. And since I ask so many times, they have bewitched a crystal that has the power to send me in time when ever and where ever. I love it, and I thank them greatly for it.

I can’t take this anymore. This constant battling and pointless blood sheds. Sure I went too far, but doesn’t everyone make mistakes? Humans are allowed to, hell they can even sin, yet they are forgiven and can still enter the Gates of Heaven. Yet we angels are different. It seems that making mistakes is not an option because we were not created to do such things. And if we do, we are punished. I thought what I was doing was right. The world needs to be rid of and started over yet He disagreed. Then He gave me a lecture about how this is all necessary, but I didn’t listen. I’ve heard it all before.

Rociel, my brother who loves me in ways he should not. Constantly, he tells me he loves me, and I acknowledge that, but it is annoying because it’s as if that is all I am. In return, I call him beautiful as well and he loves it. But I don’t understand why we can’t love each other? Didn’t God tell us to love thy neighbor and thy enemy? What’s wrong with taking that love to another level, and should levels even matter? I say if you love someone, then be with them. I see nothing wrong with a woman and another woman together, or a man and a man. Why should to straight people who hate each other have more of a right to get married then two gay people who love each other? Not only do I love Rociel, but Jibrille loves me too. I am also developing feelings for her as well because she knows who I truly am. She knows what I really look like under this costume. A smart person would say go with Jibrille but, it’s forbidden, so now what? Rociel? No. He only loves the outside, not the inside. Hmm, I wonder why Sevothtarte imprisoned her in the first place. Since she only speaks to me, I guess she has changed our friendship love into romanticism. I don’t really mind, but I want to be loved because he/she wants to be with me, and who really knows and understanding. Not just because I am beautiful or for some other reason. So, I guess I have feelings for her, but I can’t leave my brother like that. I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I already am.

Somehow, he knows about this, and he now hates me for it, yet he still pulls me aside every now and then, or he’ll sneak into my room and kiss me goodnight. I will admit that his kisses are pleasant…as cold as his lips may be, they are still soft, and filled with passion. Escaping it is nearly impossible, and when I do try, he puts up a barrier to enclose us in. I hate it. He is falling for the wrong me, or really half. Sometimes I’ll even picture Jibrille is there instead of him. One time I fully convinced myself that and it was heartbreaking waking up to find that it was him covering my body instead of her. But now, he wants me dead, because he cannot have his way with me anymore. I don’t really care; I’m just so tired emotionally, physically and mentally. I just want to be free. I want to run away with Jibrille.

I hate him for not loving the real me, and he hates me for not loving him completely and for loving Jibrille. I'm surprised he hasn't gone after her, but instead, he chooses to try to kill me. But I love him. I can't kill him. So, I will confine him someplace. Maybe in Earth, that way he will be buried and years from now he'll be long forgotten. But if he is able to escape, then I’m afraid I will have to kill him.

Why God? Why didn’t you love me? All I wanted to do was as good as Rociel was. I wanted to show you how great I could become and now you’re gone. Now, I can’t tell you how much I hate you. How much hurt you have caused me for so long. How depressed and alone I was. You will never know now, and even when you’re gone, your power still binds us all here. Truly amazing. Humans are made to go after what in which they seek, yet I can’t? This world is falling apart, and all I asked was for you to just start over and I am now condemned to hundreds of years to reincarnation and dying painfully each time, while my body is imprisoned. Ha! I’d like to see them try to find me, try to confine me. I shall spread my wings and fly to the end of the universe if I have to. But I won’t. I am going to fulfill my dreams, and I will show you what all I can do. Just you wait…and hell, who knows, maybe I’ll finally see you when I’m dead.