Why Scarlette? Let's start by looking at the children in the original chronicles. The Pevensie children were war children. Sent to the countryside to escape the blitz, they already knew how to look after themselves. And Eustance Scrubb with Jill Pole at that horrible and strange boarding school- Do you know where else to find a strange boarding school? Job Corp.

When I was a student there so many years ago, I noticed that we all were refugees from our homes. We all had a story and we all were put in the position to take care of ourselves in one way or another. What's more, we each had a padlocked wardrobe in which to keep our belongings. Some of us were known to crawl inside them to steal away a little alone time. I guarantee, if the door to Narnia is anywhere, it's through a Job Corp Wardrobe.

So without further ado, light your bowls, open your eyes, and read the fruits of a truly deranged mind. Like Tech N9ne said: "This one's for the psychos"