10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(Like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

I like food.

If 2 gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when 2 foots are feet, why aren't 2 footballs feetballs? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If your random and proud of it, put this on your profile!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it, put this on your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile.

If you have ever tried to lick your elbow even though you knew it was physically impossible paste this on your profile.

If you and/or your best friend are insane, put this on your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall before copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copt and paste this onto your profile your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent too much time of the computer, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been worried for another person, copy and paste this into your profile. ( I worry over people ALL the time!! )

If you have ever shouted a random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you love to play pranks on your best friend, copy and paste this to your profile!

If you listen to music and like it because you like the music, not because of the artist, copy and paste this to your profile

If you don't care about who makes the music, no matter how crazy they are (Britney Spears, Marilyn Manson), and you like it anyway, copy and paste this to your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin... random words...)

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. Only a vegetarian, like the Cullens!

If you like animals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would sigh and say: "where to begin?"

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Stereotypes That I Hate That I Take Personal Offense To

I'm a GYMNAST, therefore I MUST be a whore.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I HAVE GAY FRIENDS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over-controlling and a bitch.

I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.

I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.

I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work.

I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame

I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I like READING, so I MUST be a Loner.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I like to READ, so I MUST do nothing except read.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST like to talk about crushes, dolls, not getting my clothes dirty, and parties.

I don't STUDY much but still get STRAIGHT A's, so I MUST be cheating.

I'm easily ANNOYED, so I MUST be bratty.

I LISTEN TO ROCK MUSIC, so I MUST be a rebel.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love cute/fuzzy animals.

Now for semoehtnig itnresitng...

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

"My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book(Except dances I like to dance!). I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year(i dont think so). I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, Tori_Lea, Sara93, imagination57, Imosusacenui

Guy's point of view

This is very cute! And even written by a guy!

You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99 of girls don't
realize it 'til it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that
he has moved on to someone who will take notice.

From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room
and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us
off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without
even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till he morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we
freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD'

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say 'thank you.'

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the
need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you
own.

We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's
or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hot Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is
in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for
that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'.

I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!'
instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.

On the other hand I'm not saying I wouldn't like it either.

Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A
GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY
DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION , AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH
UTTER RESPECT

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and
say 'i love you' ...AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

Give the nice guys a chance

Holding Hands- Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a
couple of times.
Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.

Cuddling- Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.

Movies- Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your
head on his shoulder
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

Loving each other- Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into
her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too...
And
mean it.

Laying below the stars- Girls : When you're both laying under the stars,
put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady
heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Now
make a wish about something you would like to happen Between you and your
crush...

guys: no grabbing!

Stop!! Stop!! Stop!! Stop!!

If you haven't stopped seriously stop!

Guys repost this if you agree.

Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the
girls that read this will repost this

Fun things to do in an elevator:

1. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
ask:"Got enough air in there?"

2. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
Wear yours upside-down.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

4. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that
it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped
down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
proudly announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally.

7. Holler "Chutes away!"whenever the elevator descends.

8. Stare at another passenger for a while, then
slowly back into the corner horrified, saying
“You’re one of THEM!”

9. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask,
"Is that your beeper?"

10. Say, "I wonder what all these do."
and push the red buttons.

11. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

12. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce
to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

13. Announce in a demonic voice:
"I must find a more suitable host body."

14. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes then stop suddenly
and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

15. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap
them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

16. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Smile, and go back for more.

17. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches
to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

18. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you
have it, say: "Just in case..." mysteriously.

19. Look at your phone, and act as if your reading a text,
then get a frightened look on your face and scream:
"Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

20. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

21. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead
and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

22. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper,
"Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

23. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of
being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

24. When the doors close, announce to the others,
"It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

25. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and
in a deep voice announce "It is time."

14 Reasons To Date A Soccer Player

1. We have the right touch.
2. We are used to scoring.
3. We can go in soft or hard.
4. We will make you scream for more.
5. Sweating is no problem.
6. Skill is definite.
7. We will play anywhere and anytime.
8. We can go for 90 minutes in at least 11 different positions.
9. We have tremendous stamina & endurance.
10. We always are on the top.
11. We are not afraid to get down and dirty.
12. We have good ball skills.
13. We play the field until we score.
14. We know how to take it down the middle.

10 Reasons To Date a Dancer

1. We can do it in many positions.

2. We have perfect technique, good rhythm and great hip rotation.

3. We're used to having bruises on our knees.

4. We're used to performing in very little clothing.

5. Underwear doesn't get in the way because we don't wear any.

6. Straddling is our natural position.

7. After a quick intermission we're ready to go at it again.

8. We don't mind getting hot and sweaty.

9. We're not as delicate and fragile as we look.

10. And of course Flexibility imagine the possibilities.

The Stupid Test! Teehee. (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. (I blame gravity)

( ) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking. (Unless I purposely spit it out, than nope!)

(x) You have run into a glass/screen door. (I think everyone has done that at some point in their life)

( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (Who waits for the complete stop anyways?)

(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks. (All the time!)

total so far=3

(x) You have run into a tree. (I didn't really see it aha)

( ) It IS possible to lick your elbow. (How?!)

(x) You just tried to lick your elbow. (Dude, it's so not possible! Liars!)

(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm. (OMG they do and I never realized that!)

(x) You just tried to sing them. (...Was I not suppose to?)

(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen. (Shoelaces, chairs, little rocks, what don't I trip over?)

(x) You have choked on your own spit. (Surprisingly, no)

( ) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it. (Never even heard of it. Well, I've heard of the ones used in Algebra 2?? But I don't think that's the same thing...)

(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice (Oh, my bad, it was)

(x) You just looked at it. (SO what?!)

(x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it. (Hey, I know plenty of brunettes more stupid than me!)

(x) People have called you slow. (It happens)

( ) You have accidentally caught something on fire. (The things I've caught on fire, it was all on purpose)

(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek. (Yeah, and I can't even explain how that happened!It just did!)

(x) You have caught yourself drooling. (Dreaming of hot guy...what can I say?)

(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class. (I was tired)

(x) If someone says “fart” you laugh. (Ahaha yes!)

(x) You just laughed. (Am I that predictable?!)

total so far= 18

(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking. (Yeah and I just zone out completely until someone gets my attention and I'm like "huh?")

(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about. (That doesn't mean I'm stupid! It just means I have a bad memory!)

(x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you. (Yeah, it happens.)

(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”. (So what? I'm loud and fun! Ahaha)

(x) You use your fingers to do simple math. (Everyone does!)

total so far= 23

( ) You have eaten a bug. (Luckily, no!)

(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important (I probably should be writing and updating my stories, maybe doing homework...)

(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it. (Haven't you? Like when you're tired and just put them on all messed up?!)

(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc. (My Ipod, cell phone, money, it all just disappears and its right in my hand or pocket)

total so far= 26

( ) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. (No I do them because they're fun)

(x) You break a lot of things. (Ananimate objects? Yes. My bones? Nope, never. Other people's bones? Not yet.)

(x) Your friends know not to use big words around you. (Yes, but maybe its because they don't know any ahaha just kidding...or am I?)

(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused. (I don't mean it! It just happens!)

(X) You have fallen out of your chair before. (That's what I get for laughing to hard...or trying to reach for a pencil without actually getting up to get it...)

(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling. (Yesh I do, either that or I think of what I'm doing tomorrow, or ideas for stories!)

Total all together=31 (Okay, so I'm only... far off from 18...but that's okay, I still have fun!)

FEMALE COMEBACKS!!
pick up line comebacks, add to it if you want

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: "Can I have your name?"
Woman:"Why? Don't you already have one?"

Man: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Woman: "Actually, I'd rather have the money."

Man: "How did you get to be so beautiful?"
Woman:"I must have been given your share."

Man: "Your face must turn a few heads."
Woman: "Your face must turn a few stomachs."

Man: "Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out."
Woman: "OK, get out."

Man: "I think I could make you very happy."
Woman: "Why? Are you leaving?"

Man: "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?"
Woman: "Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time."

Man: "Want to see a movie?"
Woman: "I've already seen it."