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Favorite Harry Potter Quotes

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?" "Yes," said Harry stiffly. "Yes, sir." "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor." The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor. Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!" "What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?" — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking..." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Not my daughter, you bitch!" (Molly) — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet. "Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "OI! There's a war going on here!" Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other. "I know, mate," said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, "so it's now or never, isn't it?" "Never mind that, what about the Horcrux?" Harry shouted. "D'you think you could just -- just hold it in, until we've got the diadem?" "Yeah -- right -- sorry --" said Ron, and he and Hermione set about gathering up fangs, both pink in the face." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"You'd think people had better things to gossip about," said Ginny as she sat on the common room floor, leaning against Harry’s legs and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it’s true you’ve got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest." Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them. What did you tell her?" I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho." Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron’s got?" A Pygmy Puff, but I didn’t say where." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!" — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

“We did it, we bashed them, wee Potty's the one, And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!” — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me GENETICS
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

He: Why do you wear a Bra if you've got nothing to fill it in?
She: You wear pants, don't you?

He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and so is mine if you sit down.

He: Can I invite you a drink?

She: I'd rather you gave me the money

He: Can I have this song?
She: All yours.

He: Your body is like a temple.
She: Sorry, no services today.

He: Where were you all my life?
She: Hiding from you.

He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing. I can't laugh and talk at the same time.

The diference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else

"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. "

"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. "

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. (Even then the pizza it's late)

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

A day without light is, well, night

- Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

- Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars

- Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

- I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

- Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

- If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

7 Ways to scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer!!!!!!!!!!!"

30 things to do in an elevator.

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

5) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

6) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

7) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

8) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

9) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

10) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

11) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

12) Swat at flies that don't exist.

13) Call out, "group hug!" then enforce it.

14) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

15) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

16) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

17) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM" and back away slowly.

18) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

19) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

20) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

22) Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

23) Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

24) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

25) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

26)On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

27) When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

28) Meow occassionally.

29) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

30) Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "uh-oh!"

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile

If you have ever done anything stupid in your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (but not as as weird as you) put this on your profile

If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile.

If you have a wide range of interests, put this on your profile

If you ever killed a joke, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile

FactsOfLife

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane . . . because well behaved girls never made history.

If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!

Really Dumb Store labels:

On a bag of
Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...??)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".