ENJOY MY PROFILE!!!

My favorite musical artist: Gotye (for no real reason)
My favorite colors: Every color of a bruise
My favorite classical play: Much Ado About Nothing
My favorite book trilogy: The Hourglass Door Trilogy
My favorite movie: Donnie Darko (not a freakin' clue)
My favorite comedy show: (a three-way tie) Whose Line Is It Anyway, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and Saturday Night Live
My favorite video game: God of War (my dad's fault)
My favorite song: Popular by MIKA and Ariana Grande
My favorite sister: Marly-12 (cause Maggie is only 3 years old)
My favorite brother: Michael-5 (cause the other two bug the crap out of me!)
My favorite actress: Emma Stone (idk why but she's funny, and plus I think I kinda talk like her so...)
My favorite actor: Jake Gyllenhaal (don't ask)
My favorite Disney channel show: Austin and Ally (because who doesn't love Riker Lynch's lil bro???)
My favorite kid movie: Tangled (I'm weird I know)
My favorite Disney movie: PROM (I have no idea)
My most favorite t.v. show EVER: Glee!!!!! (because it is full of awesomeness!!!)

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

How to Treat a Girl
If I don't call you, it's because I'm waiting for you to call me.
When I walk away from you mad, follow me.
When I stare at your mouth, kiss me.
When I push you or hit you, grab me and don't let go.
When I start cussing at you, kiss me and tell me you love me.
When I'm quiet, ask me what's wrong.
When I ignore you, give me your attention.
When I pull away, pull me back.
When you see me at my worst, tell me I'm beautiful.
When you see me start crying, hold me and tell me everything will be alright.
When you see me walking, sneak up and hug my waist from behind.
When I'm scared, protect me.
When I lay my head on your shoulder, tilt my head up and kiss me.
When I grab at your hands, hold mine and play with my fingers.
When I tease you, tease me back and make me laugh.
When I don't answer for a long time, reassure me that everything is okay.
When I look at you with doubt, back yourself up.
When I say that I like you, I really do more than you could understand.
When I bump into you, bump into me back and make me laugh.
When I tell you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
When I look at you in your eyes, don't look away until I do.
When I miss you, I'm hurting inside.
When you break my heart, the pain never really goes away.
When I say its over, I still want you to be mine.

I Went to a Party Mommy

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mommy,
so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mommy,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mommy, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mommy
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell brother not to be afraid, Mommy
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put 'Mommy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,
Mommy I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mommy,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mommy!'
So I love you and goodbye.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Annoying things to do in an elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

How a Mother Killed Her Daughter
Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find sad little Aurora
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms...

END CHILD ABUSE! END IT NOW!

WHO ARE YOUR REAL FRIENDS? HUH? HUH?! HUH?!!

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has it memorized.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read & ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

If this "Secret" person that reviews my stories is reading this, I would just like to thank you for actually reviewing!! Considering I don't really get reviews... Anyways thanks!!! :D

R.I.P. Cory