Welcome, welcome, to the land of misfits!

The story so far...At the time at which our heroine came of age, she lived in a little house on a little street in a little town where everyone knew everyone. She was much beloved by her friends and kept the concept of kindness close to her heart. Yet tragedy struck, as must always happen for any story to progress, and the heroine was separated from her dearest and truest friend (who is, unfortunately, not the hero of this story, but rather something of a villain, which you shall discoverer later on.) Plunged into sorrow, the young heroine packed her bags for her father's kingdom; thinking that perhaps a year away from her quiet village would ease the pain of her separation from her dearest ones.

Her father's kingdom was nothing like our young heroine had expected. Great glass castles towered overhead and the great shipping ports of the nation stretched as far as the eye could see. Our heroine moved into a bedroom nearly twice the size of the small room she shared with her younger brother back in her village and had a regal stepmother, definitely meant to be queen and rule beside her father, who was an expert on fashion and did her best to guide our young heroine onto the road toward princessshood. But alas, years in a village surrounded by farmland had done nothing to soften our princess's mind toward the lovely dresses that her stepmother bought her, and instead she turned her nose up for fear of being considered a wilting daisy instead of a heroine. But the King and Queen were not discouraged, and instead took the princess on many adventures, sending her on trips round the world and teaching her all the best of a hero's skills, such as rock climbing and working with strange, bulky practice guns known as "paintball guns". They brought home a dog to be the family mascot, and named her 'Athena' after the goddess of war and strategy. And the pup was loyal and loving and a true companion to our heroine.

The story did not end there, though, for our princess. Her parents sent her to a fancy art school where she could mingle with commoners and nobles alike, known as a "performing arts magnet public high school" and allowed our heroine to flourish in the art of literature and composition. The young princess's mind was expanded by advanced classes and brilliant teachers, and though she had a few admirers and had been courted once or twice, the princess was not easily romanced, and instead spent her days learning the art of magick and studying the many pagan religions with just two close companions: her much loved sassy partner Prince Brenton, who waxed poetic on his many handsome suitors: knights from kingdoms round the world who wished to have his hand, and the dainty but feisty Princess Paola, daughter of the queen's sister. Yet in her third year of secondary schooling, our heroine was swept off her feet by a knight who would only lead her into heartbreak.

The knight was called by many names, but for the sake of time saving, let us stick with the loving nickname our Heroine gave him: Knight "Marines Boy." He called our darling heroine Princess "Cali Girl" in affectionate memory of her origins in a faraway land where the weather was always warm and the ruling warlord also played a surreal warrior known as "The Terminator". Knight Marines Boy was as gentle and loving with our princess as he was fearsome and brilliant in battle, and it wasn't long before our much adored knight was given the rank of "Sergeant Major" in his JROTC battalion. Our Princess was so proud of him that she penned letters to her many royal associates across all the lands, knowing that they would celebrate with her. But alas, one would see him fall...

Stories of a great and powerful sorceress ensnaring our knight send tremors throughout the kingdom. Talk of magick being used to capture his affections away from our princess ran rampant, yet the princess thought nothing of it. Her knight was true, loyal, honest, and brave, and no magick could defeat their love. How wrong our princess was. Her heart broke the day our knight acted the coward she never thought he could be and turned his back on her. Yet the princess held her head high. She was still the heroine of the story and she could still find and defeat the terrible sorceress.

Our heroine began to travel the kingdom, searching for the source of the dark magick that had been her love's undoing. Her first suspect was the newest target of our heroine's knight's affections. The girl was a waif of a thing: pretty to a fault and known for being wily and cunning to lure men into her tower where she could use them and smite them. Yet upon closer encounters, our heroine grew to admire the brilliant woman and knew that, despite her mischievous ways, the young duchess would never waste her powerful magick for such low and petty things. Our heroine dug deeper. She talked to known users of magick, and even some who had before been unknown. She went to oracles and even the great and powerful dragon who lived in the woods near our princess's home. The great dragon could not help her, but to make up for it gifted her with a set of companions who called themselves "The Fanclub" and who offered her a place in the offices of the school of knight training, known as the "Staff of JROTC". Our heroine grew to love these companions, who taught her how to be a knight and continued with her on her quest to reclaim her love and find the one who had done her wrong.

It took time, but eventually the princess discovered the true traitor. Her dear, dear friend whom she had been separated from at the beginning of our tale had grown jealous of our heroine's relations with the knight. He used his dark skills and wily ways to work into the young knight's head and relieve him of his loyalty to our princess. The betrayal rocked our dear heroine, nearly overcoming her. But she would not be defeated by anyone; man, woman, or beast. A great battle ensued in which the powers of the friend-turned-evil-warlock and our heroine grappled for strength. Clouds roiled overhead, a storm brewing from the mashing of light and dark. Thunder began to rock the land, lightning wreaking havoc on the kingdom. Villagers screamed and ran for cover as our princess fought on, refusing to be defeated when her people needed her assistance. And then the evil warlock made one fatal mistake: he had let slip, in one of his many correspondences with our princess before the great discovery of his betrayal, and our young princess recalled it at the last moment. She struck out with all her power and a great, mighty roar of battle (which was very unladylike, later said the Queen). Sunshine broke through the clouds, chasing way the warlock's storm, and finally the evil was overcome. When at last our heroine overcame the great evil that had tainted her lands, she saw in that moment an opportunity to reclaim her lost love. And yet...our princess had come to realize something.

She no longer needed her knight.

The magick that had turned him bitter and dark had begun to fade when the princess's own pure, good magick rushed through the land. But her image of him was forever tainted by her success. She could admire the great hero that he would someday be, and she could respect him for the many things that made him an asset to the lands and a good man, but she could not love him any longer. In her time of need, there had been no hero beside her. Her friends had guided her and been of great assistance, but in the end it was our princess alone who had defeated the warlock and won back her kingdom. And so our princess turned away from the knight who had once held her heart, and instead reached out to offer her hand to others who were still in need of the lesson that they, too, were their own heroes.

And thus, a self-realized hero in her own right, our royal heroine turned her face toward the end of her senior year in high school and raised her head high, ready to face the many challenges of her next quest: her freshman year of college and first year in a college ROTC battalion...

To be continued...