Hello!

By chance, did you stumble upon our profile on accident? Or perhaps you have come here after reading one of our reviews. If so, do take a look at our "favorites" page. It is quite peculiar, don't you think?

Yeah. Peculiar. Definitely. Allow us to introduce ourselves.

We The People Hate Your Shit, an organization that rebels against the terrible plague that is starting to spread over the world of fanfiction as quickly as an ice cube melts on a hot day, is who we belong to.

Allow us to introduce ourselves.

First off, I am Andrea. I do not choose to tell so much to you fucktards out there who can't even spell "you" right. Would you like to know how bad of a person I am? Don't worry. You'll know in due time...

My name is Paula, and I am the second part of the organization. I shall not say anything more about my personality or my own self. However, I am a history-loving English-enjoying person. That may be the reason if you are getting many, many terrible "flames".

Our "favorites" list is a list of ice-consuming fire, which has spoiled the grammar keys. Your story being on our favorites is an HONOR.

Yeah, right.

Just realize that if your story is on our list, then you had better pick up a few grammar tips and slap yourself.

Update: I just wanted to say that if you notice one of the stories on our list has been deleted but we haven't noticed yet, please immediately Private Message this account and inform us about the story. We'll try to post little notes up there. And also, I like to keep the deleted stories up there for maybe a month so the whole of the archive knows, and then I'll take it down. All right?

Cheers!

~Paula

Anyhow, this is Andrea speaking.

As stated earlier, our list of "favorites" is quite peculiar, isn't it? You may ask, "Why the hell is it filled with shit?!"

First off, do not refer to the "favorites" list as our real "favorites" list. If you must, do refer to it as our "blacklist". Thank you.

You would like to know why the hell your pathetic excuse for a story ended up in our blacklist, is that right? Well, you've come to the right place:

As the lovely Paula stated earlier, you fucking don't know the meaning of GRAMMAR.

You abuse/mutilate another LANGUAGE too fucking much. Most often Japanese, if you lurk around the manga section.

You bold/italicize/underline things too fucking much.

Don't try to hide it, fucktard. We all know that you know far too well where the fucking SHIFT key is located.

YoU lOvE tHe ShIfT kEy So FuCkInG mUcH tHaT yOu TyPe LiKe ThIs.

You also know far too well where the fucking ENTER key is. Yes, just like the shift key. Don't try to hide it. The enter key doesn't bite, fucktard. SO USE IT.

YOU'RE FUCKING CAPS LOCK HAPPY AND YOU TYPE YOUR STORY LIKE THIS.

You don't know where the fucking SPACE BAR is.

You're fucking S P A C E B A R happy.

You decided that you needed to satisfy your desires to announce your fucked-up fantasy CONVERSATIONS with the characters, so you decide to put it at the beginning/middle/end of your stories/chapters.

Your SUES/SELF-INSERTS don't fucking belong here. Deal with it, it's life. Go write it in your diary of crap or your notebook of shit.

The art of taking note of the character's CHARACTERISTICS don't happen to be in your fucked-up list of "Things to notice".

No one gives shit for your futile attempts at WHORING for reviews.

You don't even have a SUMMARY. You just fucking beg for people to read your "story".

Your plot is fucking OVERDONE.

And do take note on this: Not only our "Favorite Stories" list is a blacklist, our "Favorite Authors" list is a blacklist as well. In other words, if we find that your entire list of stories are infested with shit, then what do you know? You get the wonderful honor of being on the lovely "Blacklist" list for dummy fucktarded authors.

Explanations on Why Your Pen Name is on Here:

There were so many crap fanfics on your account there were too many to flame and post comments on. So you've joined our "favorite author" list.

End of story.

Individual Explanations Why Your Story Is On Here Told by Paula

Story Two: warrior short story thing by angelfang reviews

o_0

Andrea, can you get me some eyedrops? Because I may need them, because my eyes are burning in pain.

To start, I can't believe you haven't learned you need to start a new paragraph when a different character speaks. I desperately ask you, have you been paying attention in school?
You need to also learn how to properly use the Shift key. I mean, what the hellish happened? Your Shift key is there for a reason, Angelfang. So. Hm. Just maybe you should learn to use it.

Also, "cutiest" is NOT a word. Try using "cutest". And what kind of name is "Bloodsky"? I mean, what kind of queen would name her beautiful kits after gore? Sure, she may want to kits to become great and powerful warriors, but it's no good naming them after something disgustingly gory and then adding a "sky" at the end. Nice.

Not to mention you did "blah blah blah." What. The. Heck. On. A. Freaking. Stick.

Have you ever seen a writer ending a story with "blah blah blah and they lived happily ever after" (without the period at the end, of course)?

Alrighty, I'm am sick of staring at your piece of shit and my eyes are burning anyways. So I'll just say, get your butt out of this website until you properly learn how to use these grammatical phrases and such.

~Paula.

Story Six: Life of a warrior cat » by Myuki88 reviews

Ugh. This hurts my eyes really badly.

Flaws: You are underline-happy, you don't bother to even capitalize your crap, you've completely killed the words for the naming ritual, your spelling made tears pour down my cheeks, I have a feeling Mary Sues will appear in the fanfic constantly...

Also, I thought that kits were always over-excited to become apprentices. They...shivered? Uh...

And the names are put together. "Maple kit" and "Fox kit" are incorrect. They are "Maplekit and Foxkit".

Okay? And as for the Allegiances, you shouldn't put "F" or "M" beside each one. Kind of you know, messes it all up. You should put "she-cat" or "tom".Twix

Get some help right now. And I don't think WaterClan should exist...

~Paula

Now, thank you for visiting our profile and have a fuck-tastically nice day!

Signed,

Andrea and Paula