TWILIGHT OATH
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
IF YOU LOVE THE TWILIGHT SERIES REPOST THIS!

Edward Cullen is my SUPERMAN !
do i dazzle you??

You know you live in 2007 (2008) when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

-If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

-If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

-Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

-If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

-Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, Blue eyed vampwolf

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

-For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

-If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

-If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

-If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle

-98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. (XD)

-If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

-98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

-If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

-I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

-If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

-You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

-If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

-The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

-If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, oceaneyes85253, TheEmoSideOfMe, EdwardlovesChristyalways, Blue eyed vampwolf

-if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you've ever spazzed out when you've seen a silver Volvo S60, because it reminds you of Edward Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've ever spent numerous hours looking for stuff that remind you of any of the Cullens/Swans, copy and and paste this into your profile.

-Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

-If you swear you'll throw yourself off the nearest building if they cast a bad Edward and/or Bella for the Twilight Movie or mess it up beyond possible reasoning, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

-If you compare people to Edward and Bella, copy and paste this into your profile.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist ~ Dominant ~ (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
In relationships, very conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes
noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Intense One ~ Very Energetic ~ (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive.
Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic.
Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators.
Very gullible. 9 years of bad
luck if you do not forward.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge.
EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit.
Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. courageous and assertive.
Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart ~ (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal.
Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside
and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox ~ (May 21 - June 20)
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense.
Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.
5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Boss ~ (July 23 - Aug 22)
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Likes boundaries. Tend to take over everything.
Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leo's. Attractive.
13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The Protector ~ (June 21 - July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life.
Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others.
Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The Dreamer ~ (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague.
Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish.
Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter ~ (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny.
Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and
can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The Enduring One ~ (April 20 - May 20th)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted.
Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts.
Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice.
Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally.
Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often.
Very generous. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One ~ (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful.
Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes.
Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Dislikes being confined - tight
spaces or even tight clothes. Beautiful inside and out 14 years of bad luck if you do not forward

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome

LES is Love Edward Syndrome

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

This is a poem about a little girl who was abused. If you care at all, post this into your profile

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

my eyes are swollen

I cannot see

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could've made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong,

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.

When mommy does come,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now,

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says it's my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But it's now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

child abuse: MAKE IT STOP!!

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

This is a true story:

She was only 13

: her dad was drunk

Her mom was an addict

Her parents kept her

Locked in an attic

Her only friend

was a little toy bear

It was old and worn out

And had patches of hair

She always talked to it

When no one's around

She lays there and hugs it

Not a peep of sound

Until her parents

unlock the door

Some more and more pain

She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg

A scar on her face

Why would she be

In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear

And softly crys

She loves her parents

But they want her to die

She sits in the corner

Quiet but thinking,

"Please God, why is

My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life

For a sad little kid

She'd get beaten and beaten

For anything she did

Then one night

Her mom came home high

And the poor child was beaten

As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly

Grabbed for a blade

It was sharp and pointy

One that she made

She thrusted the blade

Right in her chest,

"You deserve to die

You worthless piece of crap!"

The mom walked out

Leaving the girl slowly dying

She grabbed her bear

And again started crying

Police showed up

At the small little house

Then quickly barged in

Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly

Opened a door

To find the little girl

Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad

To go through so much harm

But at least she died

With her best friend in her arms

A child dies every day from child abuse.

If you have one ounce of respect for other human beings post this on your profile.

Month One

MOMMY
I am only 4 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak...

Again repost this on your profile if you think abortion is wrong.

ATTENTION: ADD IS AUTOMATIC DEATH DISORDER! PASS IT ON!

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.

Nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before my vampire boyfriend saved me, then I found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”: LACE DID IT!

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

"I win! Even if you think that you win you don't because I do in my super awesome power!"

"See, I'm weird, which is normal for me but being normal for me is weird which I am normally meaning that technically I'm normal because that's weird for me and I am weird. Get it?"

Oh, well crap... Hey! Look! A cookie!"

"ROCK ABUSE! ROCK ABUSE! ROCK ABUSE! I SPOT A ROCK ABUSER!"

"It's a... It's a... ITS A DEER AFTER JASPER THREW IT AGAINST A BUILDING FOR KICKING HIM OVER THE HEAD WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO KILL IT AND SCREWING UP HIS AWESOME EYELINER!"

"ASAP is fun to say. It's all ASAP real fast and that's just... VOOM! Fastness. But it's amusing. Like dental floss and fried chicken wings, you know? VOOM!"

"Oh, hey, LOOK! That boy just fell over!"

“ Hi, I’m ...uhhhhhhhhhh...ummmmmmmmmmmm...Oh Yeah , Hi I’m ( insert person you re talking to’s name here)

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, then youre just like me...retarted – am I making you feel any better?

Milk tastes good.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb butt?"

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.

Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back.

Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

If you think that describes Edward Cullen, copy it into your profile.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

MONEY

Money can buy a house but not a home.

It can buy you a clock but not time

It can buy you a position but not respect

it can buy you a bed but not sleep

It can buy you a book but not knowledge

It can buy medicine but not health

it can buy blood but not life

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you
would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)
--

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months,
enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)
--

The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a
hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself;"
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Here a few random things I've come across that I'd like to share with you:
Just a note- I did not write or start any of these things. Some of these were taking from Fanfics, but I forgot which stories... sorry!

If at first you don't succeed, you shouldn't try skydiving
I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired
I had amnesia once - maybe twice.
Parents spend the first part of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. The second half is teaching them to sit down and shut up
Well, paint me purple and call me Barney.
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
You think I'm crazy? At least I admit it.
Thanks, Stephenie now I'll never find a man.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
You know there are poor people in Africa who can't afford sarcasm and yet you abuse it.
Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
I agree with the dictionary- girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently,

Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

If kisses were raindrops,
I'd send you showers.
If hugs were minutes, I'd send you hours.
If smiles were an waves,
I'd send you the sea.
And if love was a person,
I'd send u ME !!

Laugh your heart out,

Dance in the rain,

Cherish the memories,

Ignore the pain,

Love&Learn,

Forget&Forgive,

Because remember

you only have,

©OneLifeToLive©

Oh Them?
Yea I'd Lie For Them,
Cry For Them,
& Straight Up Die For Them.
because they're my
©best friends©

i want the kinda boy. . .
who I can run to; with tears running
down my face, make-up smeared
& the first thing he says is...
"Who's butt am I kicking now babe?"

Unlike Barbie,

Me & my friends

~aren't sold seperatly

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my younger brother Brandon. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Brandon.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." (I don't speak English.)

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

Edward Cullen made every girl want a bloodthirsty vampire instead of a knight in shining armor.

Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

And God (CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was gooooood

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Smile. It confuses people.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire

population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

How many toes does a fish have how many wings on a cow i wonder yup i wonder!

Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

There is such thing as a glass that never breaks. Its called plastic.

Ahhh I'm running after the bad guy who took my pack of Skittles... I worked hard for that pack... Ahhh he's eating them!! Now he's throwing them at me... Call 911!!

At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiney?

Behold the mighty...chihuahua?

Beware of the little green men in pink tights. They run fast and can jump out of nowhere. I am running away from them right now.

Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Friends will phone you in jail

But best friends will be sitting next to you saying "that was awesome!"

Good friends will share their umbrella

Best friends will take yours and say "RUN, BEEP, RUN"

Good friends will wipe your tears when you're rejected

Best friends will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Diamonds are precious and so are pearls, but nothing is better then me and my girls.

Enemies stab you in front, friends stab you in the back, boy stab you in the heart, but best friends are there to stab those right back.

(¸..•´ (¸.• Edward Cullen... . ..
...(¨•.•´¨) ...Bella Swan. .. .True Love ForEver(¨•.•´¨) . .. ... •.¸.•´ . . . ...

TWILIGHT
It takes a SECOND to notice his looks.
It takes an HOUR to read the books.
It takes a DAY to fall in love with them.
BUT IT TAKES A LIFETIME TO FORGET HIM

TWILIGHT FAN HABBITS:
You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.
you refuse to believe that Edward is not out there
People stare at you funny because you and your friends are locked into a heated argument of vampire vs. werewolf
you cried through most of new moon
your dream car is a silver 2005 Volvo S60R
You long to visit Forks
you get excited anytime someone unsuspectingly mentions anything about vampires
you talk about Edward and Twilight so much, that your friends read it just to shut you up...
you have come to hate the sun...
you start to see silver Volvos everywhere (I SWEAR I SAW ONE DRIVE BY)
every time you're in a grocery store, you have the urge to pick up and hold an apple
you start cursing at Halloween shop windows when you see stereotype vampire teeth
You have a particular spot on the bookshelf for the books, and you WILL notice if they're not there! (they are pretty big...)

IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY FANFIC IDEAS... LET ME KNOW!! I AM HAVING A HUGE WRITERS BLOCK! LOVE YOU!