Name: MartinisAndGuns, but if you want, you can call me Tootie.

Age: 15

Location: Hidden in a deep enchanted forest surrounded by singing elves and talking squirrels that like to steal my candy corn. Those little rascals.

Hobbies: Stalk little old ladies, steal food from three-star resturants, get butt-raped by my stuffed animals, paint invisible houses, direct Geico commercials, date the cavemen in those commercials, watch videos of fat people masturbate, and write fanfics :3

Fav TV: Anything on VH1 and the Colbert Report

Movies: Jurassic Park series, Blade series, Silent Hill, Van Helsing, and some others.

Music: Anything, but mainly that crazy devil-worshipin', headbandin', long hair growin', horn raisn', guitar shreddin', insane people screamin' Metal, and Pop :3

Anything else?: Not really, I think that's enough for the readers here to know.

Are you sure?: I'm pretty sure.

Pretty sure?: Yes

I don't believe you: What? You think I got something to hide?

Yes, now tell these fine people: But I don't want to, I hardly know these people!!

Don't insult your readers, now tell them more of you: I'm not insulting anyone!

Yes you are, apologize to them: But I didn't do anything!

APOLOGIZE!: ... I'm sorry.

Very good, we're done now: Thank you. As for everyone here, enjoy my lovely works I put much time and love into.