iiJoshyBoo
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter. Hey there. That's all that I feel comfortable posting about me here, so below will be random junk I found entertaining.
About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it. According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg. Only 14% of Americans say they've skinny dipped with the opposite sex Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. If you were to spell out numbers, you would you have to go until 1,000 until you would find the letter "A". 23% of employees say they have had sex in the office. Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women. Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men. 3.9% of all women surveyed say they never wear underwear. Superman is featured on every episode of "Seinfeld", either by name or pictures on Jerry's refrigerator. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served first class. Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50 Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58 Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85 It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. - Rami Belson I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. - Unknown I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned - Unknown When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. - Unknown I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken. - Unknown The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy - Henry Kissinger I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields Last night I was looking at the stars and I wondered... where the hell's my ceiling! - Unknown All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. OK, so what's the speed of dark? How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Guys are like port-o-potties. All the good ones are taken and all the bad ones are full of crap! I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus. I've been whomping my willow thinking about you. Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff. You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements. The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand. Why don't I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you? I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes. Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this! Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby. I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky. I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts. Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake. |
Lauryn Meets The Marauders INTRO reviews
Sirius and Remus, reborn