IWannaFangBangJasper
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Joined 07-10-11, id: 3061715, Profile Updated: 09-06-11

Hello i'm lexi!

I can't get over my twilight addiction so i come here to read.my fav parings are jasper/bella. yeah yeah i know but edward and alice just seem so uptight and have a stick up there ass and jasper and bella are more relaxed and fit there age. i started to ramble ;)

I only comment on fic's i like so you will not have any problems with me! i'm one of the nice ones :)

I am looking for a beta and a thinking partner someone to write story's with so on and so forth

I suck icredably at spelling...see

i will try to update regularly if i get a story up

any idea's send them to me!I always need new stuff

oh and beleave me i know how mean npeople can be on this websight and i really don't give a FUCK what you think unless like ten people say the same thing... but i don't care about criticism :)

oh and i cuss...a lot ;)


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.(i'm acually half but whatever and this was acually said about me)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist or a pyromaniac


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Vampire Tears by smiles-to-smirks reviews
Jasper Whitlock has had a hard life and he trusts no-one especially himself, until he meets that human, Bella Swan. JxB Non-Cannon. Not like normal JxB story .
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 27,640 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 8/4/2013 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Bella, Jasper, Charlotte, Peter
My Major by Major Whitlocks Little Soldier reviews
What if in New Moon Bella found a new mate? Jasper was never apart of the Cullen coven he is Major Jasper Whitlock the most feared vampire in the world also known as the god of war.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,627 - Reviews: 842 - Favs: 1,259 - Follows: 1,358 - Updated: 1/27/2013 - Published: 4/21/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Unheard by Augustmoon99 reviews
There is so much to say in life, and it is not just our voices that speak. How do you communicate when your voice cannot be heard? Bella is not heard. Jasper tries not to feel. Together, they learn to open up and accept life and love.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 98,922 - Reviews: 1149 - Favs: 1,024 - Follows: 1,166 - Updated: 11/16/2012 - Published: 3/16/2011 - Bella, Jasper
Aro's Baby Girl by Asdfanythings reviews
Bella is Aro's half breed daughter. Her papa's figlia preziosa. And no one could hurt her without dealing with him first. What would happen if she goes to Forks, and meet the Cullen clan? What if Edward leaves her, in the middle of the forest no less? Her papa certainly won't be happy. AU. (Undergoing Major Edit)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,702 - Reviews: 613 - Favs: 824 - Follows: 707 - Updated: 9/2/2012 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Alec, Bella
Leather and Lace by Zairan Mai reviews
Bella's keeping secrets, and all the Cullens know it. Jasper's yet to figure it out, but when Bella regretfully brings his world crashing down around him, a bond starts to form between two unlikely people. Slightly AU. I think. Don't kill me if it is.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 18,803 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 7/5/2012 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Date a Cullen by darlin.i.love.you reviews
Alice, Rosalie, and Bella get themselves into some drama filled excitement when they decide to join a compeition to try to win the hearts of three bachelors, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 63,811 - Reviews: 1254 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 7/27/2010
Angels Show Up in the Strangest of Places by history00 reviews
THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED. THERE IS AN ALTERNATE/REWRITTEN VERSION ON MY PROFILE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 48,096 - Reviews: 945 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 628 - Updated: 4/15/2012 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Volturi Daughter by WantJasperspeen reviews
Alice has been deceiving Jasper and everyone for a very long time. When her lies are revealed all hell breaks loose. The Major finds his mate and together they have to fight to save their families. JXB, CXE, RXE, EXJ, PXC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,260 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 491 - Follows: 522 - Updated: 8/4/2011 - Published: 7/11/2011 - Bella, Jasper
Pants Down by Chelsea May reviews
Bella never thought she'd end up in the men's restroom having a conversation with a guy at the other stall. Talk about an awkward situation. Rated M for language Revised with extra mini story of James and Victoria
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,031 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 32 - Published: 7/30/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete