I have a singularly impressive talent for messing up the plans of very powerful people - both good and evil. Somehow, I'm always just in the right place at exactly the wrong time. What can I say? It's a gift.

Harry did not expect to be reborn as Anakin Skywalker in a galaxy where blue girls were considered sexy, sentient dustbins barely rated a glance and giant slugs were criminal warlords. He took it all of that in stride until The Force started singing in his ear. Good thing there were no prophecies lying around... right?

Sequel to Through the Veil. Harry, Ron, Fleur and Katie travel to Middle-Earth, using 'study more magic' as an excuse. The pseudo-immortals tend to procrastinate a lot. Just like Gandalf and the elves, really.

...as weak as we are divided. Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and Annabeth Chase all end up in New York at the same time. They all end up on the run from SHIELD, and they all end up meeting - right before the Avengers are first assembled and an alien army comes flying in from space. Is it a coincidence, or is it Fate… Co-written by dearemmahansen.

In which Bella is confident, cheerful and striving for a happy (second) life. Cullen Clan, meet little Miss Positivity. (Self Insert)

"No one can open the Vault alone. I opened the Vault. There was no one with me but I was not alone." A team of six entered the Vault. Kabr fought and died. Praedyth was captured. Pahanin ran. Two were cut away, and one hid. This is the story of before that, and after. Or: A story about falling off of cliffs, and the consequences thereof. T for language, violence, and alcohol.

When Lily and James Potter asked a goddess to grant them a child, they had no idea that their simple wish would have so many consequences, especially when that child is raised by a legendary witch long thought dead. Genius!Strong!Independent!Harry. Pairing: Harry/Silena. Rated mostly for language, but rating may change. Bashing of Ares, Dumbledore and a few Weasley.

The life of a young mutant is perilous enough on its own. Follow the experiences of a student entering the hallowed halls of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, learning just what it takes and what it means to count himself as one of a race that is feared and targeted by many. Welcome to the X-Men, Bellamy Marcher - Hope you survive the experience.

After having worked for over a decade as a Curse Breaker, Harry wakes up in an alternate time-line, in a grave belonging to Rose Potter. Fem!Harry

Two alcoholic men decide to jump through the Veil. This takes them back to August 1st, 1993. They don't have much to lose, anyway - the only thing left to do is to go around and piss everyone off, true Marauder fashion. So they do exactly that.

For a moment Harry started, surprised at the first sign of any sort of non-muggle presence in this world. Just what exactly was a 'Blutbad' - or a Grimm for that matter? Collection of related drabbles/snapshots centered around Harry, Monroe, Nick and Renard.

War rages through the galaxy, allowing the rise of heroes and villains on both sides. However, within the ranks of the Confederate Navy, a new star is rising, one with a mysterious and dark past. His actions shape not just his own fate, but that of the galaxy as he uncovers an age-old plot. Will he allow the plans of darkness to unfold or will he take destiny into his own hands?

During the battle in the Department of Mysteries, Harry and several others are pulled to a place where even the stars in the sky are aflame with war. In their quest to return home, they find themselves drawn further and further into the conflict as they begin to change in ways they could never expect...

Harry sees only one option when his name comes out of the cup - to escape where the contract can't follow; across borders where the Ministry's laws can't follow him. Where he goes changes him, and those who remained change too. Desperate measures implemented change how paths are walked for not just Harry but others too.

Another task had been given to him. Not one of prophecy, but of choice. He had long ago accepted his need to help people, to protect those who could not protect themselves. War was all he had known, all he was good at. It was time to help heal. But, sometimes, to save a life, you had to take one.

Everyone's favorite Spartan is looking for a new purpose, lucky for him, the Commander his happy to oblige. (5-23-19 Info: On Hiatus after Chapter 45. Will update with schedule after life is in order.)

Two years have passed since the dark day that humanity's best was extinguished. Now it appears that the dead Shepard is not so dead, and that the enemies Jorge helped defeat, are not so defeated. Shepard is going to need humanity's best to take on the genocidal threat of the Collectors. Fortunately for her, Jorge has volunteered to help.

Deadpool receives a job as Argus Filch's Assistant Caretaker at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Features much insanity, hijinks, bedlam, and shameless destruction of the fourth wall, all brought to you by everyone's favorite mercenary. Pure insidious crack. The fifth and final year of this adventure begins in September 2019. You may not survive the experience.

A continuation of the story begun in Getting Too Old For This. Harry Potter is back, and he is determined to use that whole 'Winning the Reaper War' thing as an excuse to cause as much trouble as he reasonably can, while still winning the war of course. He does like living after all, which is a fortunate trait for a man that can't die. Rated 'M' for bad language and worse ideas.

Ron Weasley knows something the Wizarding World does not.

Harry Potter finds himself, and his normal bi-polar luck, pulled out of a quiet retirement and into the limelight of the 23rd century. He finds a grand new stage upon which his 'saving-people-thing' can act, and before he can say no, is pulled into the middle of a galaxy-spanning conflict. Rated 'M' for bad words and ideas, re-worked and re-posted. Enjoy.

Sometimes, history repeats itself. Sometimes, it gets written anew. And sometimes, there comes an age when old heros aren't needed. In a world where protecting the innocent isn't as simple as swinging a sword, a small antiques shop stands between Chinatown and Little Italy. Inside, history is never forgotten and legends are remembered as they truly were, and seen as they truly are.

Spartans never die, they say. When Jorge gave his life to save his home planet of Reach, he never imagined that he would survive. But now he finds himself neck deep in the troubles of another universe; he will do what he has been trained to do, what all Spartans do best: fight.

Prophesies complete, an immortal Dragonborn and her vampire best friend are left to their own devices. The result? A jointly ruled empire of Nirn that spans the stars. So when Batarians are chased through relay 314 by the Turians into Imperial space, all oblivion breaks loose. How will the Galaxy of Science hold up to the Empire of Magic, Especially one ruled by the Dragon Queens?

It's finally happened: The Lone Traveler became a God. With the Divine name Marek Ilumian, Patron God of Free Will, Minor God of Knowledge and Travel, sometimes he goes over the top. But he's all about giving people a choice - or at least the opportunity to Choose. And having fun, of course. And Pie. Lots of Pie. Completed but I've added more.

The Master of Death is a dangerous title; many would claim to hold a position greater than Death. Harry is pulled to Middle-earth by the Witch King of Angmar in an attempt to bring Morgoth back to Arda. A year later Angmar falls and Harry is freed. What will he do with the eternity granted to him? Story begins 1000 years before LotR. Eventual major canon divergence.

A collection of one shots centered around Naomi (my oc) and Peter Maximoff. Spin-off of When You're With Me, Baby, the Skies Will be Blue For All My Life.

Three men, trapped in a galaxy gripped by turmoil, fight to return to the home they knew. With magic, literally, at their fingertips and a skill that most lacked, they take the galaxy by storm and no one can stand in their way.

All she ever wanted was to be simply Hariel Lily Potter, but such was impossible for her: "The-girl-who-lived", "The-Woman-who-Conquered". Now, after the battle had been won and evil vanquished, she remained forever in her youth; for Death did not release what belonged to them so easily. With nothing to lose and everything to gain, she left. But what lies beyond the Veil?

The best love is found in the most unexpected places in the most unexpected people. (Inspired by Mr. & Mrs. Smith) (Rating for possible future chapters)

Harry Potter is not standing up in his crib when the Killing Curse strikes him, and the cursed scar has far more terrible consequences. But some souls will not be broken by horrible circumstance. Some people won't let the world drag them down. Strong men rise from such beginnings, and powerful gifts can be gained in terrible curses. (HP/HG, Scientist!Harry)

Hermione is not surprised that Harry is spending their sixth year befriending Slytherins, releasing dangerous beasts in the dungeons, inciting House Elf rebellions, and generally causing trouble. This is Harry, after all. Sequel to Dear Order.

After Voldemort's defeat, Helena had thought she could live a quiet life (as quiet a life as The-Woman-Who-Conquered could live). Fate had other plans for her, and one morning she wakes up in the Spine in Alagaësia. With a new companion by her side, and new friends at her arm, Helena takes on the world. Rider!Harry. Fem!Harry/Eragon. Book One of the 'By Wisdom and Courage' series.

The Forsworn have just won the war, leaving a young elf by the name of Lyari orphaned and alone. She swears to kill Galbatorix and flees to a cave in the northern lands. It's there that she finds something that will change the future of Alagaësia for the better. (I don't own the Inheritance Cycle.)

Ten years after Naomi Parker and Peter Maximoff first met, new problems threatens their life together. And, sometimes, just their lives in general. Problems that range from an ancient mutant that wants to enslave the world and goes all the way to Naomi herself. Peter Maximoff/OC. Sequel to When you're with me, baby, the skies will be blue for all my life.

In which Remus is not going to steal James's wife. A few conversations between the Marauders and Lily over the years. Sort of prequel to Unmitigated Chaos.

It's the year 2185CE. Commander Jane Shepard is recruiting members to bring with her on a mission against the Collectors and the Reapers. Among the candidates is Dr. Harry Potter, the reclusive mad scientist who has been missing for twenty years. Who knows what he was doing during that time? Rated M to be sure.

Third in my self-insert series. She had died again, and now she was in Thedas. She had always expected to end up here eventually and strangely she was almost happy to be here. Future Blight, Kirkwall, Mage vs Templar War, Breach and who knows what else? Brilliant. Yeah, she was messed up in the head. But who wouldn't be in her place?

There walks in Middle Earth a powerful warlock of great magical skill, wrathful in battle. He walks in the company of a second, a sorceress, vengeful in her spellcraft. Ere the battle looms, and the End of All Things should they not prevail. Meanwhile in the county of Surrey, a teacher seeks a missing student, who is more than miles away.

Death wants free of its Master and proposes sending Harry back in time to avoid the unnecessary deaths in fighting Voldemort. Harry readily accepts, thinking he'll start anew as a Firstie. Instead, Harry's soul, magic, and memories end up at the beginning of Second Year — in GILDEROY LOCKHART!

Harry Potter, Lone Traveler, is sent to a world where he is supposed to teach Defense to the Mauraders and others during their OWL year. Well, he's going to do it right. And make a right pain out of himself for Voldemort and anyone else who wants to get in the way. Dumbledore neutral, GodHarry, Offshoot of Harry Potter, Lone Traveler, God and Wizard. Now Complete.

Sequel to Hope's Calling. For Harry, things were looking up. He owned most of his freedom, he knew how to orchestrate a good time, he had at least one functioning relationship at any given time. It was all more or less under control. Several explosions later, Harry never thought he'd long for a time when his issues were as simple as some idiot blowing a hole in reality.

Harry Potter, Lone Traveler, has accepted his role as the Multiverse's fix-it man. A figure of legend in many universes, he makes his way as directed by Creation to worlds where they could use a nudge here and there. Maybe he can prevent the multiverse from destroying itself in apocalyptic fire. Sequel to Stories of the Lone Traveler.

"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.

The Lone Traveler arrived just in time to prevent a major diplomatic incident. Rigged tournament, Evil Dumbledore, etc. A typical Fix it - Until a certain Goddess decided to get involved. Now Harry has to go all over creation to satisfy the devious little Deity while satisfying a Veela, helping to kill Voldemort, etc. Blame FairyWm for the Snorcacks.

In deference to The Professional and his wonderful stories. Harry has lost everything; a failed attempt to fix his mistakes leaves him as the Lone Traveller, a part of Wizarding legend. This is "Complete" because the length is getting unwieldy. I stopped at a good point. The sequel is up.

The Lone Traveler arrives on the even of Fudge's election. Instead of pelting Dumbledore for advice, the new Minister listens to a new viewpoint. Much is changed.

The unofficial fourth of the Make a Wish series by Rorschach's Blot, it was originally written by Overkill aka Irrational Intelligence and removed for some reason. EDIT: Have separated the chapters now.

From the writer that abandoned three stories before finally getting her act together, comes a retelling of the most iconic movies of our generation; my movie. Deadpool! Sequel to When you're with me, baby, the skies will be blue for all my life.

The world has tried to break Harry before. Some days, at his most lucid, he wonders if it succeeded. Either way, he doesn't intend to take it lying down, but from Templars to demons, the trouble keeps coming. Oh and the world might be ending, although that, for once, is someone else's problem.

12/OC -Time Lady- The Doctor regenerating is the least of Clara Oswald's worries as she deals with a new life as a Time Lady AND being Linked to the Doctor and Evy, his own Link's, son, the Captain. As the mystery of the Promised Land grows and Danny Pink notices Clara, will the family remain united…or find themselves divided when Missy comes calling? Eighth in the Lunar Cycle.

The sequel to ItMoaS. Mad scientist Harry Potter, now twenty years old, is sent to the SGC to half-join SG-1, accompanying them on missions. However, this job, which was just supposed to be providing Harry with research and allow him to expand on his knowledge, will have him make grand discoveries about himself and that of the entire magical race. Harry/Tonks/possibly more

Naomi Parker was the youngest child of the five born to Anthony and Deborah Parker. And her entire life was made up of trade offs; She got straight A's, but she got detention a lot. She got along with two of her siblings really well, but she didn't get along with the other two. And she met a really cute boy, but they broke a terrorist out of the Pentagon. Peter or Pietro/OC

She had lived and died, and now she was living again. This time she was a mutant and she wasn't staying back and watching things happen like last time. This time she would change things, she would stop being a coward. Sequel to Hope's Second Rising. On hold for the moment.

Severus Snape is confronted by the Lone Traveler on the Eve of his ascention to Slytherin Head of House. The visiting Harry teaches him to change the course of Slytherin and all of the Magical world. All he has to do is get them to open their eyes. The major portion is almost exclusively in the viewpoint of Severus Snape. Now with Lucius Malfoy thrown in.

She died, she knows she did, and yet here she is in Marvel Movie-verse, in the hands of Hydra, with a different face, body and kind of different eyes. She can't remember her name so she dubs herself Hope, so she remembers to belief for freedom and survival. This is her story. Basically a self-insert story.

The Better Burrow arc from my Lone Traveler compendium: The Lone Traveler encounters the Burrow before it was expanded. Maybe it can be made into a safer and more comfortable home for this version of the Weasleys. It's amazing how much a building can change history.

Sherlock/OC – Sherlock has returned to London after 2 years and everything is different. John has left 221B and moved on. But Leena, his oldest friend and fiance, is still there keeping an eye on things. With strained relationships all around, what will Sherlock and Leena do when the threat of Magnussen arises? Will they get their own wedding? Third in the Jackie Holmes Chronicles.

11/OC -Time Lady- The Doctor and his Link, Evy, have survived Lake Silencio and begun their greatest adventure yet, parenthood. How will things work with their son, LJ, tagging along? What will they get into when LJ's older self, the Captain, pops up? How will they all deal with the loss of the Ponds and discovering their impossible companion? Sixth in the Lunar Cycle.

11/OC -Time Lady- The Doctor and his Link, Evy, find themselves on the adventure of a lifetime with both their son, LJ, his future self, the Captain, and his own Link, Clara, the Time Lady. With the threat of Zygons and the Moment looming, what will the Time Lords do? What will happen when it's not just the 10th Doctor they meet, but Rose Tyler as well? Seventh in the Lunar Cycle.

Harry runs away at age four. After bringing him back, Dumbledore's attempts to keep him at Privet Drive gets progressively more ridiculously extreme with each of his escapes. Animagus!Harry, Crack

Harry Potter wasn't raised like in canon. He was top of his class, and very intelligent, always seeking to improve things, and so he learned all kinds of things, and, upon entering Hogwarts, started studying all he could get his hands on! Intelligent!Super!Harry Later Mad Scientist!Harry Rated M for Language, Nudity, and Gore Stein-ish Harry Genres: Humor/Romance/slight Horror

COMPLETE. The odds of temporal displacement were tiny, too infinitesimal to count, and yet… The Harry Potter luck striking again, he supposed. So now there's an older, wiser, more mature Harry (well, the older part's true at least) stuck in the past. And he's determined that if he's going to change things, he'll have some fun doing it. (OR: Time travel minus angst equals this.)

"...the briefing room door opened, admitting an old man with pure white hair that fell half-way down his slightly-stooped back and a beard that came down to his waist and clutched a tall wooden walking stick, which was topped with a light purple glass ball... "Daniel, I thought you said he was an expert on Medieval Europe, not an expert from Medieval Europe," Jack muttered."

Sherlock/OC – Leena, a very old friend of Sherlock's, has returned to London from working for the BAU. How will her relationship with Sherlock fare when Irene gets involved? How will Sherlock react when Leena joins him in Baskerville? What will happen to them during the epic fall? Second in the Jackie Holmes Chronicles.

Sherlock/OC – Sherlock Holmes, resident sociopath of 221B Baker Street, a difficult man to love…or is he? Leena, a very old friend, would disagree entirely. Who is she? How does she know Sherlock? Why does a simple text from her make him…smile? Dr. Watson has no idea what's coming. First in the Jackie Holmes Chronicles.

11/OC -Time Lady- The Doctor is in for the adventure of his lives. His Link, Evy, a Time Lady, is pregnant. His companion might be as well. How will he deal with this on top of the mystery of who River Song is and the threat of the Silence and Lake Silencio hanging over him? Will Evy and the child even survive? Fifth in the Lunar Cycle.

11/OC –Time Lady– With regeneration has come a stronger connection than ever for Evy and the Doctor. How will Evy deal with her Link and the lovely Amelia Pond? What of Series 5 will change with this new Evy? What surprise is coming for the Time Lords after Christmas? Fourth in the Lunar Cycle.

10/OC -Time Lady- Evy has saved Donna from the meta-crisis and the Doctor finally admitted his feelings for our resident Time Lady, completing the Link with her. How will this new step in their relationship affect their travels? What will happen when the Master returns? Third in the Lunar Cycle.

10/OC -Time Lady- Evy lost her brother on the Valiant but regenerated, revealing who and what she is to the Doctor, his Link. How will he handle having a Time Lady travelling with him, especially one with a startling connection to him? How will Donna react to two of them? What will happen when Rose returns? Second in the Lunar Cycle.

10/OC -Time Lady- Evelyn Daniels has escaped the Time War, but been locked away, until Captain Jack and Torchwood rescue her and get her back with the Doctor. How will Martha cope with another woman onboard? What secrets is Evy hiding? Why does the Doctor think she's human? First in the Lunar Cycle.

Faced with nothing better to do, the Trio break out Monopoly. Complicated by the fact that Ron's never played before and this IS Hogwarts, the game somehow becomes rife with outrageous corruption, lousy service, and jail time for minor traffic violations

Why is everyone always so afraid of disturbing Walburga? Warning: Language...lots and lots of language.

AU PoA: When Luna Lovegood is condemned to Azkaban prison for her part in opening the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter is the first to protest. Minister Fudge is reluctant to comply, but then again he never really had a choice in the first place. Oneshot.

These are the voyages of the Wizard Ship Rotfang. Its continuing mission: to blunder aimlessly through the galaxy, leaving chaos in its wake. Its captain: Harry Potter. HP/SG1. One shot.

Harry is attempting to summon a spirit. He gets something else entirely. Luna is vaguely impressed.

COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.

A Sequel to Make a Wish: Takes place directly after the events of 'Make a Wish,' Harry Potter is missing and his friends are determined to find him.

COMPLETE. Firefly: :Harry Potter crossover Post Serenity. Two years have passed since the secret of the planet Miranda got broadcast across the whole 'verse in 2518. The crew of Serenity finally hires a new pilot, but he's a bit peculiar.

When Harry says 'oops', things tend to explode. But not this time. No, this time...well. Something else happened.

Harry has learned the prophesy and he does not believe that a schoolboy can defeat Voldemort, so he decides that if he is going to die then he is first going to live.

COMPLETE. In the heat of the battle, he swore a blood oath to defeat Voldemort in every form. But when you factor in his understanding and abilities to travel to alternate dimensions, it presented the sort of problem only a Harry Potter could have.

COMPLETE. [Third and final story from the 'Where in the World is Harry Potter' trilogy] No one is safe when Harry happens. Not the living relatives, not the dead ones. No one.

Somehow, someone has put a curse of some kind on the Slytherins and Gryffindors of the Hogwarts Graduating Class of 1997. This results in several near death experiences, and Harry and Draco's six week disappearence. Just where WERE they? Complete.

COMPLETE. [Sequel to Where in the World is Harry Potter?] Now that Harry has been found, he's going to teach DADA at Hogwarts again for the first time. Will he change and grow as a person? Will he find love? Enh... doubtful.

COMPLETE. PostOotP. Harry Potter fulfilled the prophecy and has since disappeared. Or has he? Tonks and Hermione are the lead Order members continuously hoping to track him down. The question is: can they keep up with him?

BLOODY BRILLIANT Award Winner. Who but Severus would write a song that insults every house but his own in polysyllabic rhyming couplets? If Rowling were in her grave, she'd be spinning..