I am a disease, but also a cure.

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

Calling me SELFISH won't make you SELFLESS,

Calling me SHALLOW won't make you DEEP,

So why bother?

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost all of them cuz who cares about Jacob Black). Crazy is when you don’t say a thing about yourself in your fanfiction bio but instead yell random things that make you laugh. Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends. Crazy is when you laugh about how Edward Cullen thinks Bella is DEAD in New Moon. Crazy is when you head bang to a slow song. Crazy is naming your winter jacket Mr. Puffy and your best friend naming hers Mrs. Puffy and letting them marry for the winter. Then at the end of the winter, they both retire and divorce each other. Crazy is when you are taking a math test and go over on your scrap sheet of paper to work out the problem, and start drawing spirals until the teacher goes five minutes left! Crazy is if you suddenly yell, 'PARTY IN MY TUMMY!' and everyone stares at you in Pre-Algebra class. Crazy is when you automatically twist something completely innocent into something pervertedIf you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add and italicize something crazy you've done to the list!

LOLZZZ

Your so plastic you make BARBIE look REAL.

Rub my BELLY!!

I’m so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Therapy is like school, only there is one student, comfier chairs, and more pain and annoyance.

Don’t call me emo or I’ll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I’ll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

EMO kids have cool hair.

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

No, I don’t have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.”

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and bitch slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?

Whose cruel idea was it for the words ‘lisp’ to have an ‘s’ in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”

You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

He said I love you, I sneezed and said sorry I’m allergic to bullshit.

I’ll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet.

You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"

Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."

Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

I don’t obsess! I think intensely.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

When I say LOL I’m not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

So how retarded are you?

Want to find out?

Complete this and you'll find out

1. X You have choked on water before.

2. X You have tripped down the stairs before.

3. X You have walked into a door

4. X You have pushed a door the wrong way.

5. X You have walked into a wall.

6. X You have fallen going UP the stairs.

7. X You have jumped off something.

8. X You have been electrocuted

9. X You have put metal/aluminum in the microwave.

10. X Right after a commercial comes on you forgot the show you were
 watching.

11. X You have forgotten something that someone said.

12. X You barely ever understand stuff / jokes, or sometimes it takes a long time to figure them out.

14. X You have been bleeding and not even noticed it.

15. X You've worn something backwards / inside out the whole day without
 knowing.

16. X You have stuck a fork / knife in a toaster before.

17. X You have played with fire.

18. You've stepped on a flat iron / curling iron / straightiner.

19. X You didn’t even notice there wasn’t a number 13 in this quiz

20. X You just checked to see if there wasn’t a number

So how retarded are u??

0 - 0/20 x's

5 - 1/20 x's

10 - 2/20 x's

15 - 3/20 x's

20 - 4/20 x's

25 - 5/20 x's

30 - 6/20 x's

35 - 7/20 x's

40 - 8/20 x's

45 - 9/20 x's

50 - 10/20 x's

55 - 11/20 x's

60 - 12/20 x's

65 - 13/20 x's

70 - 14/20 x's

75 - 15/20 x's

80 - 16/20 x's

85 - 17/20 x's

90 - 18/20 x's

95 - 19/20 x's

100 - 20/20 x's

I am 95 retarded!! -"

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

A Day in the Life of an Unwanted Child

You probably haven’t heard of me,

And now no one ever will.

Because my mother wanted to live

So she decided to kill.

Everyone says I don’t think

I don’t breathe,

But I am alive

Read on and you’ll see.

By day one I am there,

It’s not your imagination.

I know you don’t want to believe it

That’s your hurtful fixation.

By day 24 my own heart begins to beat

I know that by then you have accepted defeat.

By 43 days my brain waves are recorded

But the that way you treat me,

Make my thoughts distorted.

8 ½ weeks have gone by,

And I can hear you cry.

Is today the day we are going to say goodbye?

The palms of my hands are sensitive to touch now,

And I know that you don’t care.

But when I think of the pain I cause you,

It hurts too much to bear.

I know you may not love me,

But I care very much for you.

And I know you didn’t want to do it

It was something you did not choose.

The end of my life is coming,

Bringing this poem I’ve written to a close.

The small slice of life I got in your womb

Will have to do I suppose.

The life of an unwanted child

Is not a good life to lead,

But don’t worry a change is coming

All you have to do is believe.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Stupid Test

X Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

X Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

X You have ran into a glass/screen door.

X You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

X You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

So far: 5

X You have ran into a tree. (lol course)

It IS possible to lick your elbow

X You just tried to lick your elbow.

X You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.

X You just tried to sing them

So far: 9

X You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

X You have choked on your own spit.

You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.

Your hair is blonde.

X People have called you slow

So far: 12

X You have accidentally caught something on fire

You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

X You have caught yourself drooling.

X You've fallen asleep in class

If someone says "fart" you laugh (HAHAHAHAHA)

So far: 15

X Sometimes you just stop thinking.

X You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about

X People often shake their heads and walk away from you

X You are often told to use your "inside voice".

X You use your fingers to do simple math.

So far: 20

X You have eaten a bug.

X You are taking this test when you should be doing something important

X You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it

X You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket

So far: 24

You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you
(No, I post whatever the hell I want!)

X You break a lot of things.

So far: 25

Your friends/family know not to use big words around you

X You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused

X You have fallen out of your chair before

So far: 27

X When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

X The word "uhhhh" is used many times a day.

So far: 29

"I've done 29 out of 36 stupid things'' Yes, I know. Depressing

X=yes =no

Does this mean I’m stupid? 80 stupid??

Sleeping Beauty

Pain flows through me

Like running water

Because I had a friend

But suicide got her

Pain rakes through me

Like leaves in the fall

Why hasn’t anyone answered?

Don’t they here my call?

Getting weaker by the second

Almost fallen to my knees

Wanting to follow in her direction

About to beg and plead

As the tears roll down my cheeks

I look up to the sky and smile

A permanent sleep I will succumb into

If just for a little while

✜ I’ll be the girl you need me to be, but I won’t be the girl you want me to be.

~ Ciao ~