I am working on my first fanfic its called Emmett and the hiccups but i am only 14 so be kind and NO FLAMES PLEASE

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
Ed-men

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

When a Volvo drives through town.

I promise to obey traffic laws

Of course for Charlie's sake

And whenever a wolf howls, I promise to remember Jake.

I promise to remember Carlisle

When ever I am in the Emergency Room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Every time there's a huge boom.

I promise to remember Rose

Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me.

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful curly, bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care.

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my emotions are unfurled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world.

Yes I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

тωιℓιɢнт

One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. Back-to-back they faced one another, Drew their swords and shot each other. One was blind and the other couldn't see, So they chose a dummy for a referee. A blind man went to see fair play, A dumb man went to shout "hooray!" A deaf policeman heard the noise, And came and shot the two dead boys. A paralysed donkey walking by, Kicked the copper in the eye, Sent him through a rubber wall, Into a dry ditch and drowned them all. (If you don't believe this lie is true, Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

Funny Stuff:

A pessimist would say the glass is half empty. An optimist would say the glass is half full. A cynical person would say"Who cares?" and knock over the glass.

Good friends will help you up when you're down, but BEST friends will push you back down and laugh.

So what if the dark side has cookies? Come to the light side, we have Edward Cullen!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away...screw the apples, I wanna see Carlisle!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

"You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide!

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways.

It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it." (I'm really good.)

"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them. (I do that all the time ;)

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...OH ITS A PARADOX!!

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

I will only write about Twilight related things. Because, I don't know, I'm uncontrollably in love with it!Duh!!

What Twilight Has Taught Me:

Vampires can live in the reality of the world, they're just really pale and are EXTREMLEY HOT (Look at the Cullens!)

A normal girl (Like me) can fall in love with a god like person, that happens to be a vampire... (Now wheres Edward?)

Babies are smarter than we think, just look at Renesmee

Any doctor can be an extremley controled vampire just like Carlisle.

A grizzly bear sounds delicious to me

Cars appeal to my taste now.Vroom, Vroom!

Older names, like Alice, Jasper, Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett rock my vampire socks!(No, I'm sadly not a vampire, nor do I have socks that reflect that factor.)

I will jump in front of a out of control car sliding on ice, to see if a vampire will save me

A old truck is a good car, never doubt it.

Little towns are awesome

Odd names are awesome, like Renesmee or Story(HEHE)

Standing still really makes stress go away

I do dream about vampires now.(Especially Edward : ) HEHE)

I will only go out with someone who saves my life

We live in a world where fictional monsters could live

I scream at deer:"EDWARD WANTS TO DRINK YOUR BLOOD!", or "EDWARD EATS YOUR FRIENDS, THE ELK, IN FORKS WA!" Like I said,wierd...

Nothing is impossible anymore

I can read a book five times and still cry, quote, and laugh every time

I will always think of love: as a vampire and a human

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

"Never hire a colorblind electrician."

"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it."

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."

"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."

"After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

"Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill."

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I’m so clever that sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying

Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it.

Links To Stuff from Stories:

Hiccups

Emmett’s Nurse Costume:

Jasper’s Shirt:

Jasper’s Hat:

Edward’s Random stuff:

Bubble Pipe:

Spiked Choker:

Kendama:

Emmet’s Shirt:

Emmet’s Shorts:

Bella’s Shirt:

Bella’s Shorts: