People think I work here. I don’t work here. I just wear a tie.

I wore a fake green mustache around for a while. People smiled and said “great mustache.” No one said “ugly mustache.” People like green mustaches.

All disagreements are over definitions, where by “all” I mean some.

I used to think it was a problem if I changed my mind, but not anymore.

The government passed a new law today making violence impossible. Everyone is happy except the physicists, who will have to rewrite all their textbooks because of a few bad apples.

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all time. The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes - so what?"
"Think about it." said the mystic reverently. "That little bottle - how does it know?"

Oxyforms

1. Act naturally
2. Almost exactly
3. Alone together
4. Business ethics
5. Clearly misunderstood
6. Computer security
7. Diet ice cream
8. Exact estimate
9. Family vacation
10. Found missing
11. Genuine imitation
12. Good grief
13. Government organization
14. Legally drunk
15. Living dead

1. Microsoft Works
2. Military Intelligence
3. New classic
4. "Now, then ..."
5. Peace force
6. Plastic glasses
7. Political science
8. Pretty ugly
9. Religious tolerance
10. Resident alien
11. Same difference
12. Silent scream
13. Software documentation
14. Sweet sorrow
15. Temporary tax increase
16. Terribly pleased
17. Working vacation

This is a true story.A girl died in 1933.A man buried her when she was still alive.The murder chanted,Toma Sota Balcu,as he buried her.Now that you read the chant,you will meet this girl.In the middle of the night she will be on the ceilling.She will suffocate you like she was suffocated.If you post this on your profile,she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

I'm very paranoid.I know, I know,It's not real,but...still.

ALL ABOUT ME!

Name:S

Age: Somewhere between 1 and 16.

Gender: Female...dog.(Lol,just kidding)

Race:Asian.

Favorite color:Metallic anything.

Least favorite color:Dark pink.

Favorite food:Potatoes.Bacon.

Least favorite food:Bitter melon.(It's disgusting)

Favorite drink: Tapioca

Crush: His name starts with a letter of the alphabet.

Best friend: 4everalone

Second language:Mandarin. I'm asian.

Skin:Brown. I'm a tanned asian. Sometimes golden depending on the lighting.

Known for:Being weird.

Fun fact: I hate cucumbers.

Labeled:Nerd

Pet Peeve: Stupid questions

Inside joke with one of my friends:

Me*does something really weird*
Friend:What is WRONG with you?
Me:Everything.
Both:BWHAHAHAHAHA

"Always remember that you are unique.Just like everybody else."-Margaret Mead

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.