bounces* I LOVE TORTALL!!! TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL TORTALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

I love Kel!!! *does Kel dance* Mwahaha! And I /look/ like Kel, too! *evil cackle* The power! The power!!!! Err...my favorite Tortall books go in this order, from most favorite to least favorite:

Squire
Lady Knight
In the Hand of the Goddess
Wild Magic
Trickster's Choice
Page
Alanna: The First Adventure
Emperor Mage
Lioness Rampant
Wolf-Speaker
First Test
The Realms of the Gods
The Woman Who Rides Like a Man

Anyhoo, I adore Kel/Dom, I think Kel/Cleon is cute, and although I like Neal, I think all of the Kel/Neal fics are stupid (no offense). If you have a Kel/Neal fic that you think will change my mind, then send the url to me.

These are a few things most people are driven insane by me for:

#1: Whenever someone calls me a name, I act as if it's a compliment (besides, being called insane is the best compliment in the world, right?) Ex:
I have just been ranting about my religion: Tortallan.

Other person: You're sooooo weird.

Me: *does a little bow, grinning like a maniac*

Other person: You're crazy.

Me: Flattery will get you nowhere.

Other person: You're insane.

Me: *blushes deeply* stop it, you're making me blush with all your compliments.

Other person: *screams with frustration and runs off to commit suicide*

#2: I practice my acting skills (which are quite good if I do say so myself) during an ordinary day at school. Ex: Someone has just told me that Dom sucks (the clever people found that I "go into shock" when someone says that, so they do it all the time).

Me: *widens eyes and covers mouth in "horror"*

Them: Dom sucks, Dom sucks, Dom sucks...

Me: *doesn't even blink*

Them: Oh yeah...and guess what? It was just discovered yesterday that Dom is gay... (they think this is clever...good for them)

Me: *starts to hypervenelate, squeaking at inervals*

Them: ...with PEACHBLOSSOM!!!

Me: *"faints"*

The teacher walks in. I sit up and pretend like nothing's happened.

#3: I correct everone's grammar, even my teachers', my parents', and once in a while random people on the street.

#4: I am constantly refusing to do things, claiming that Kel wouldn't do them.

#5: I am constantly moaning that my nose is too big.

Hmmmm...here are a few of my favorite quotes:

"Hysterics--that's all I need for them to think I've gone completely female" ~Kel, after the bandit attack, from Page, pg 121

"No. It's 'mirage of delight' today. 'Pearl of my heart' was when I was but a mere boy." ~Cleon, to Kel, from Squire, pg 178

"He just likes the way Neal squeaks when he's bit." ~Tobe, to Kel, from Lady Knight, pg 35

"Girls play at bein' Lioness. I saw one chasin' her brother down the street, wavin' a stick and callin' for the Conte Duke to submit to her sword." ~The Provost, to Alanna, from Lioness Rampant, pg 230

""Forgive me, gentle lady. I didn't see..." His voice trailed away as he stared. Fianlly he whispered, "You--you're wearing a dress. You look..."" ~Jon, to Alanna, from In the Hand of the Goddess, pg 127

"Dom frowned as well, and bowed his head a little. "Well, you see, I was planning to give you a single red rose. Much more romantic, wouldn’t you say? But, seeing as it’s winter, and roses are hard to come by this time of year...I’m afraid this was all I could find." he explained, and gave a sad gesture to the pinecone when he finished speaking." ~Dom, to Kel, from 'Daybreak', a fanfiction by Pheep, chapter 8

"I would have dearly loved to have pushed my dear cousin into some of those wonderful bushes, the thorns being an added bonus. But it was not to be so, the damn roses were dead." ~Neal, to himself, from 'Kissing My Best Friend', a fanfiction by Seadragon

"Before Tortall books I had no life. Now I still have no life, but at least I'm contentedly oblivious" ~Me

"I knew because of a certain thing called woman's intuition, known by many as common sense."

"Please be nice to the dragons because you are crunchy and go well with ketchup."

"Don't worry. We're all happy here. *fends off men in white lab coats*"

"When everything seems to be coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

"I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me."

"Don't let your mind wander--it's too little to be left alone."

"Only two things are infinate: the universe and human stupidity...and I'm still not sure about the first." ~Albert Einstein

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." ~Albert Einstein

"I know it sounds like I'm in denial, but I'm not!"

"Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid."

"I have decided to be indecisive."

"I'm not insensitive. I just don't care."

"Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else."

"I'm in shape. Round /is/ a shape...isn't it?"

"Dear lord, please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me."

Hehehe...

And if you are an obsessed freak of Tamora Pierce (like me...*evil cackle*) then go to

The Almighty Knight-freak has spoken.
~Fanta