Hello everyone. I'm Carson (you can just call me KK)

I have a account on FictionPress.com too, so if you want to read my stories on that, my account name is exactly the same :)

Personally I look like a vampire. Black hair, weird blue eyes, and pale skin. My hair is actually black and dark red, but the red is a under layer so you don't see it a lot. My eyes are usually blue with gold\orange around my pupil, but sometimes my eyes turn green and some people have thought my eyes were grey.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do...I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys, of course, said "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?"

"N", she answered.