![]() Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride. So here I am! (finally) Wow, I'm like soooooo excited to be on fanfiction after reading like a bajillion stories. So yeah, my profile... Name: pureevanescence Gender: mood swings, makeup fanattic, clothes obcessed... I believe I'm a girl! Birthday: October 1 Age: hahaha *puts on sunglasses and becomes serious* that's classified Hair Color: shoulder length chocolate brown with sun streaks Eye color: well, I think they're hazel because they change from blue, green, and grey and sometimes mix together, but they aren't brown so no clue then! Favorite colors: GREEN! dark blue, turquoise, black, silver, white, gray. Favorite bands: well I really looove Evanescence (pen name) and Three Days Grace, Linkin Park, Breaking Benjamin, Skillet, Red, Green Day, Nickleback, 3 Doors Down, Thousand Foot Krutch, Fireflight, Superchick, Theory of a Deadman, Lifehouse, All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte, Hollywood Undead, The Offspring, Simple Plan, Sum 41, Flyleaf, Pretty Reckless, 30 Seconds to Mars, The Used, The Band Perry, and There for Tomorrow. Favorite Books: Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The Heroes of Olympus, Hunger Games trilogy, Harry Potter, Witch and Wizard, Maximum Ride, Alex Rider, To Kill a Mockingbird, Inkheart, Narnia, White Fang, Green Witch, and Wednesday Wars. Favorite TV shows/ Animes: YOUNG JUSTICE!!!! Fullmetal Alchemist and Brotherhood, Code Geass, Yugioh GX, DM, and 5Ds (in that order), Bleach, Ben 10, Danny Phantom, Kim Possible, Transformers Animated, The Batman, Avatar the Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra, My Babysitter's a Vampire, Black Cat, Ouran Highschool Host Club, Inuyasha, Merlin, Rave master, Fairy Tail, Kingdom Hearts (well, it's a game, but i don't game a lot sooo yeah...), Star Wars the clone war. Favorite movies (sorry if you're bored): AVENGERS!!!, Avatar, Harry Potter, Hunger Games (have y'all seen Liam Hensworth??), Alex Rider: Stormbreaker, Green Lantern, Transformers 1-3, Batman(all of them; can't count tonight), Lightning Theif (as it's OWN movie, not compared to the book), the Sorcerer's Apprentice 2010, Captain America, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Iron Man 1 & 2, X-Men, Inkheart, and many more I can't think of at the moment... Warning Labels "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. (or anyone for that matter) "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. (but it's easier than a hair dryer) "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. (tried that with my sister on accident, it was pretty funny to see mom's reaction) "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. (but... how... why... that's... I have no words for this) "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert. "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer. (beats taking a bath) "In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp. "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. (...) Got this from my friend from school I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm NEGRO, so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST scream around a fire like a savage person. (grandpa was native American and I don’t remember him doing that) I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be emo and cut myself. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG ASS. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK, so I MUST only wear black and date other punks. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be a nerd that does homework 24/7/ I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals I'm MIXED, so I MUST be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK, so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST have seven wives. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be niave. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon. I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot .I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I COULDN'T HURT A FLY, so I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I HANG OUT with teenage DRINKERS AND SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I DON'T LIKE TO BE IN A BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be a controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. (though I don’t know if I’m that good, but it’s fun!) I'm a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker (aren’t we all) I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I'm an AMERICAN, so I MUST be loud, obese, and spoiled. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST want to castrate every male on earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so IT MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber- sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME, AND COMICS, so I must be immature. I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ITALICIZE & BOLD THE ONES YOU ARE Random Fullmetal Alchemist Quotes: "Even when our eyes are closed, there's a whole world out there that lives outside ourselves and our dreams." - Edward Elric "Struck out on the Philosopher's Stone again, huh? How am I supposed to keep funding this wild goose chase? Money doesn't grow on trees, there, chief! Ed, where'd you run off too? Oh, there you are! I couldn't see you over my paperwork, seeing as how you're so short and all! Ha ha ha!" Roy Mustang: (snatches puppy from Kain Fuery's arms) Dog, huh? (pause) I LOVE DOGS! Al: So what's your strategy? Alphonse: [panicked] When you think of it, making a life's expensive! We would have to give something up!! Hohenheim: Edward. So, do you still hate drinking milk? Ed: (surrounded by a barrage of explosions) Just wait till I stop running! (runs into the crowd) Sorry! "It's been a good while since I've killed anyone, I kinda miss it. Ya wanna watch?" – Ed Ed: This whole place is about to blow. Edward: Damn it, there are so many idiots whose asses I have to kick! I'll have to start carrying a list just to keep track of 'em all! Referee: [about Edward in an arm wrestling match] Nah, I couldn't possibly ask *this* shrimp to take on the champ... Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood Quotes McDougal: So... it's not you? Alphonse: Oh. Um, no. I'm his younger brother, Alphonse. McDougal But he's a runt... Edward: OH YEAH?! CAN A RUNT DO THIS?! [uses alchemy to trap McDougal] McDougal: I heard the stories, but still, I never imagine this. The Fullmetal Alchemist is just a little kid- Edward: DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!! [Uses alchemy to create a stone fist and punch McDougal to oblivion] Alphonse: You know, brother, I don't think he was really talking about your height just now. Edward: Well even if he was, he still pisses me off! Hughes: Roy!.. How goes!.. Heard you let 'em put you in charge of catching the Freezer, huh? 'One hell of a nasty assignment... But hey, could be your chance to earn that promotion to Central? Oh, say!.. Looks like my timing was perfect! You two are the Elric brothers, right? Uh- Wow, it's an honor to finally meet the youngest State Alchemist ever. You're a real legend around here... I'm Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes. A pleasure. [is talking to Alphonse] Alphonse: Um, you want Edward. I'm actually his younger brother, Alphonse. Hughes: What, you're the Fullmetal Alchemist?! Sorry, I had no idea you'd be so... Edward: [thought] Go on, say 'little'. I dare you. Elysia Hughes: Big brother... [points at Al] Little brother. [points at Edward] Edward: Nice to meet you... My name is Edward Elric... and this is my younger brother Alphonse Elric... get it? youn-ger brot-her... Elysia: But younger means little. You're little. Edward: YOU'RE LITTLE! WHERE DO YOU GET OFF...! Alphonse: Just let it go, Ed. These people are being nice to let us stay here. Armstrong: What do you mean? Destruction and creation are two sides of the same coin!! You must destroy to create!! THAT IS THE LAW OF THE UNIVERSE! [takes off shirt, poses epically] Riza: Did he have to strip? Havoc: Are you surprised? He's clearly insane. Winry: [sees Ed's broken automail arm] OH NO! Edward: Yeah, sorry it's a little smashed up. Winry: 'A little smashed up'? 'A little'? Ed do you see what you've done to my beautiful creation; I slaved over this! Edward: It's basically the same, it's just in smaller pieces. Brosh: It's nothing. Although, if you don't mind me asking, why are you wearing a suit of armor? Elrics: [look at each other, then back at the two military officers] It's a hobby. Hughes: Did you hear what I said? My dear little Elysia's about to turn three! Roy: Lieutenant Colonel Hughes! Do you think this could wait? I'm at work. Hughes: Oh, what a coincidence. I'm at work, too. She's the cutest little thing. You should see her! Roy: I'm sure she's adorable, but stop calling me to gush over your daughter, and on a military line,too! Hughes: Not just my daughter! I gush over my wife too! Roy [growling to self at his desk] Hughes: I know, I know, it's your turn now. Go ahead, Colonel. I know you're dying to gush over you very own-- scar-faced Ishvallan. Winry Rockbell: ...You didn't drink your milk. Edward Elric: ...Why should I? I hate it. Winry Rockbell: YOU'RE GOING TO BE SMALL AND STUNTED FOREVER IF YOU KEEP USING THAT STUPID EXCUSE! Edward Elric: SHUT UP! I DON'T HAVE TO DRINK IT IF I DON'T WANNA! Armstrong: YOU SOUND LIKE A SPOILED LITTLE BRAT, EDWARD ELRIC! Ross: Every growing boy needs his milk. Brosh: Yeah, you want the girls to like you, don't you?! Edward Elric: Well done! Ah, it feels good to have it back. Thanks a lot! Winry Rockbell: Sure. No problem.[Hughes bust into Ed's hospital room] Hughes: Yo, Ed, my boy! Is it true you invited a pretty blonde girl into your room to service you?[Ed falls off his bed face down on the floor, his wound re-opening briefly] Edward Elric: She's my automail mechanic! That's all, nothing more! Hughes: Oh, I see. You've seduced your mechanic, have you? Edward Elric: [freaks out] THAT ISN'T WHAT I SAID AT ALL! WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! Edward: [speaking to a pint of milk] So we meet again, you little bastard! I'm not gonna drink you. Edward: Damn! It's even tighter in here than I thought! I couldn't get through this far if I was regular sized. I'm lucky that I've got a small body. OH NO!!! I JUST CALLED MYSELF A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!!! Dominic: This arm seems a bit heavy. Winry: Yes, I guess it is. Dominic:: You ought to be more careful not to strain your outfittee. That could be the reason why his growth is stunted. Edward: HEY, SHUT UP! [realizes what Dominic said] Wait, are you telling me if my automail was lighter, I'd grow taller than this? [smiles like a maniac] Dominic: It is a possibility. PERCY JACKSON QUOTES BOOK 1 "Percy, meet Gladiola. Gladiola, Percy." BOOK 2 BOOK 3 (Best quote of the entire series) Page 208: Zoe: Let us find the dam snack bar. We should eat while we can. [Grover smiles] Grover: The dam snack bar? [Zoe is confused] Zoe: What is so funny? Grover: Nothing. I could sure use some dam french fries. [Thalia catches on] Thalia: And I need to use the dam restroom. [Zoe is still confused] Zoe: I do not understand. Grover: I want to use the dam water fountain. Thalia: And... I want to buy a dam T-shirt. [Percy laughes and hears a moo] Percy: Did I just hear a cow? Thalia: A dam cow? Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned. "That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there." "Which one is me?" I asked. "The little deformed one," Zoe suggested. "Oh, shut up." Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades. "Dreams like a podcast, "Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred." "A god named Fred?" "Can you surf really well, then?" "Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried." He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)-- BOOK 4 "A Demigod!" one snarled. BOOK 5 "It's him," I said. "Typhon." THE LOST HERO THE SON OF NEPTUNE Stories in Progress: Birdkids Unite! Chapter 1 is up!!!! June 27, 2012 Birdkids Unite! Chapter 2 is up!!!! August 19, 2012 |
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