Name: No. I'll give you a fake one: Kate Ahearn

Age:nope

Grade: Jeez!

Love: Max Ride, Warriors, others

Fave Authors: MapleTreeway, Lilystar Of Skyclan

Other:... Whatever.

I LOVE WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you think Justin Bieber is a girl trapped in a guy's body (or possibly the other way around), PLEASE do me a favor and copy & paste this into your profile

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile. (I'm stalking Maximum Ride because of the upcoming movie)

If you are being stalked by a fictional character then copy this into your profile.

Here's some info and differences between me and you:

You say Pink,

I say Black. (can be the other way around.)

You say Edward,

I say Fang.

You say Valentine's day,

I say Halloween.

You say piano

I say guitar

You say drawing,

I say writing.

You Say The Hills,

I say *picks up a book* READ!

This poem is really touching so please read it.

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile

They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup

On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about

'And blood was everywhere,'

'The sirens screamed out eulogies,'

For death was in the air.

'A mother, trapped inside her car,'

Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:

'Oh, God, please spare my boys!'

She fought to loose her pinned hands;

'She struggled to get free,'

But mangled metal held her fast

In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused

'On where the back seat once had been,'

But all she saw was broken glass and

Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;

'She did not hear them cry, '

'And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, '

'Oh, God, don't let them die! '

Then firemen came and cut her loose,

'But when they searched the back, '

'They found therein no little boys, '

But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad

'And was traveling alone, '

'But when they turned to question her, '

They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild

And screaming above the noise

'In beseeching supplication, '

Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts;

'Their jeans are blue to match.''

'One cop spoke up, ''They're in my car, '

And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there

'And gave them each a cone, '

Then told them both to wait for Mom

To come and take them home.

'I've searched the area high and low, '

But I can't find their dad.

'He must have fled the scene, '

'I guess, and that is very bad.'

'The mother hugged the twins and said, '

'While wiping at a tear, '

'He could not flee the scene, you see, '

'For he's been dead a year.'

'The cop just looked confused and asked, '

'Now, how can that be true? '

'The boys said, ''Mommy, Daddy came '

'And left a kiss for you.'' '

He told us not to worry

'And that you would be all right, '

And then he put us in this car with

'The pretty, flashing light. '

'We wanted him to stay with us, '

'Because we miss him so, '

'But Mommy, he just hugged us tight '

And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand

'And told us not to fuss, '

'And he said to tell you, Mommy, '

'He's watching over us.'

The mother knew without a doubt

'That what they spoke was true, '

'For she recalled their dad's last words, ' ' I will watch over you.'

This message works on the day you receive it.

Let us see if it is true.

ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS.

Pass this on to your true friends.

Something good will happen to you at 11:11 in the evening; something that you have been waiting to hear.

Do not break this prayer, post it on your profile! :D

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When:

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.

2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.

3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.

4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.

5. You claim you have wings.

6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.

7. You daydream about meeting the flock.

8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.

9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.

10. You study about birds.

11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.

12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.

13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.

14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.

15. You are counting down the days for the next book. (2012 baby, yeah!)

16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.

17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.

18. You hate dog crates.

19. You think scientists are evil.

20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.

21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.

22. You've found a new respect for blind people.

23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.

24. You say 'U and A' a lot.

25. You think you have a Voice like Max.

26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.

27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.

28. You know what 'Fax' is.

29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.

30. You claim to have brain attacks.

31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.

32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.

33. You daydream of flying.

34. You love chocolate chip cookies.

35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.

36. If you want to become a writer because of MR

37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.

38. If you love Fan-fiction.

39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.

40. You want a talking dog.

Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us:

1. Being different is okay.

2. Even the little things can help save the world.

3. Red-heads are evil!!

4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there.

5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world.

6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old. (Now you tell me...)

7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy.

8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does not make you emo; it makes you Fang-like.

9. French is the universal language.

10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement.

11. Count your blessings.

12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations.

13. Nachos and Mountain Dew are proper mind controlling devices.

14. Fang has the power to sum up your life story in nine words. (he summed up mine in 5 words, yes i've met him... Ok fine, i didn't, but i so so wish i could (sigh)

15. Even a kick-ass, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes.

16. Never get hooked on Valium.

17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!!

18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars.

19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie.

20. Kids are better than adults. (this is so true, but um, my parents give me the money, so...)

21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress.

22. The best cooks are blind pyros.

23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom.

24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done.

25. School really is an evil place.

26. Teachers really are out to get you.

27. Remember to flap.

28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy topsiders.

29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!!

30. The order of power: God, Jesus, Fang, Max, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Angel, Total, humans, animals. Brigid, Sam and Lissa don’t make the list.

WHAT TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR:

1.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8.Move your desk into the elevator and when anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15.Swat at flies that don't exist.

16.Tell people that you can see their aura.

17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

35 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressant are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

Reason the human race has evolved thus far.

1.) On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

2.) On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

3.) On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

4.) On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

5.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

6.) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

7.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

8.)On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

9.) On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

10.) On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

11.) On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

12.) On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

13.) On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

14.) On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

15.) On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

16.) On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

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COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT --

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever ran into a glass door, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate it when people write "If you _ then copy and paste this onto your profile." Then copy and Paste this onto your profile.

If you trip on air, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you tend to drop something, pick it up, then drop it again, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever hit your self in the face by accident, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever made a fool of yourself in public on purpose, paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you want to annoy people just for the hell of it, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a wall, copy this to your profile.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you agree.

If you really read all of these for some reason, copy and paste this onto your profile

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART

Must press the Red button!

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

You can't fix stupid.

I'm an angel honest... the horns are just there to keep the halo straight

Darn! I thought I had hidden the pitch fork... did anyone notice the tail?

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When in doubt...throw a chair.

Even though he's gone, you can still hear the stupid.

Wake Up, Read, Eat, Read, Go to School, Read, Eat, Read, Go to Sleep, Repeat

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Watch out for the idiot behind me.

I ran with scissors, and LIVED!

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

The reason your mama told you not to hit girls is they hit back harder, and sometimes repeatedly.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

STUPID Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

When life throws you lemons... throw something harder back!

On a scale of one to crazy, I'm a penguin!

I did not hit you... I simply high-fived your face.

Of course I'm out of my mind... It's dark and scary in there!

Happiness is just around the corner; too bad the world is round! Dumbass!!!!

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

The reason your mama told you not to hit girls is they hit back harder, and sometimes repeatedly.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

When life throws you lemons... throw something harder back!

I did not hit you... I simply high-fived your face.

Of course I'm out of my mind... It's dark and scary in there!

Happiness is just around the corner; too bad the world is round! Dumbass!!!!

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a Spork.

Be insane... because well-behaved girls never made history.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If annoyed further, I shall Spork your eyes out.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

I know the traffic signals by heart; green means go, yellow means speed up, and red means check for cops.

Boys are like wine; They need to have the mess kicked out of them and be left to mature for a while before they become something you are able to have a meal with.

I used to be normal, then I met the freaks I call "friends"

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!!

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

'Curiosity killed the mutant bird kid.'

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence because of something that I just got that happened yesterday

Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head says, " This is going to take more than one night..."

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I didn't say it was your fault... just that I was going to blame you

My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you at the same time.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Growing old is mandatory, growing up however...

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me!

There are all kinds of art. There's the art of drawing, the art of dancing, the art of science, and of course the refined art of being an idiot

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train headed your way.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window.

I am temporarily distracted by a sharp, shiny object.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and bi*ch slap that mother f*cker upside the head

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Why don't you slip into something comfortable; like a coma. I will gladly help you.

Define 'normal'

I don't suffer from insanity, I am enjoying every minute of it.

Knowledge is power; Power is the root of all evil. Therefore study evil and excel at it.

If the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of Progress?

Only two things are infinite: 1)The universe 2)Human stupidity

There are few problems that can not be solved with large amounts of explosives.

Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you think I'm normal, you need to go to a mental hospital.

What is this 'kindness' you speak of?

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch

Favorite Quotes!

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy

"You die when we die." - Fang, in School's Out Forever.

"Forget it! Nobody's getting married! Not in New Hampshire, or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox. Now go to sleep before I kill you." -Max, in Max.

"You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers!" -Fang, in School's Out Forever

"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain."-Iggy, in the Angel Experiment

Max: "Will you quit that?"
Fang: "Quit what? Breathing?"
Max: "You know what."

Gasman: "What does that mean" (points to a sign that says Stay Off the Third Rail!)
Fang: "It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current running through it. Touch it and you're human popcorn."
The Angel Experiment

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What've you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?"

Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parents?"
Max: "Um, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to a test tube, please? (The Angel Experiment)

Ter Borcht: “Is dere anysing special about you?”
Fang: “Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.”

Um… I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!”
Ter Borcht: “Hardly a special talent.”
Nudge: “Yeah? Let’s see you do it.”
Gazzy: (in ter Borcht’s voice) “I vill now eat nine Snickers bars, visout bahfing.” (Saving the World and other Extreme Sports, by James Patterson)

Write down 12 characters in a random order:

1. Max

Hi... I'm Sun Alice Auguste. My profile pic is one I found on Google. Here's some info.

Species: Human

Side notes: Weird

Gender: Female

Name: Not interested in saying it

Where I live: Are you a freaking stalker?

If you are your best friends personal stalker for the sake of creeping them out then copy and paste this into your profile.

FUNNY ANAGRAMS

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

THE COUNTRY SIDE: When you rearrange the letters: NO CITY DUST HERE

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

CLINT EASTWOOD: When you rearrange the letters: OLD WEST ACTION

INTERNET ANAGRAM SERVER: When you rearrange the letters: I, REARRANGEMENT SERVANT

MOTHER IN LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER (lol. Just lol)

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE (see above)

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER (see the comment above the last one)

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

Okay, I got this from someone's Profile.

Research shows that 92 of today's population have moved on to rap. If you are one of the 8 that stayed with rock, metal, pop, country, or alternative, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your sorry butt.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you"

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile.

95% of the teenage population would be in a crisis if Miley Cyrus, Justin Beiber, the Jonas Brothers, and Selena Gomez were on top of a 5 story building. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're one of the 5% that would be screaming into a bullhorn, "JUMP, @#!*% , JUMP!!!

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if anyone slows down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso

6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy"

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat

11. Specify that your Drive-Thru order is To Go

12. Sing Along at the opera

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't go to their party because you're not in the mood

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom

17. When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running and screaming "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go"

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity, post this on your profile and make somebody smile!

If you are insane and proud to be that way then copy and paste this into your profile

I used to be normal, until I met those freaks I now call my best friends. (lol so true)

"In 2012 I won't be freaking out about THE END OF THE WORLD! I'll be too busy freaking out about THE END OF MAXIMUM RIDE!"(yeah! And lol if you ever read it)

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

Maximum Ride Quotes My favs

“I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve Endings. Pudding in great pain.” -Iggy

“You…are… a… fridge… with… wings. We… are… freaking… ballet… dancers” –Fang

“I don’t do damsel well. Distress, I can do. Damseling? Not so much” – Max

“Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.” –Fang

Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us:

1. Being different is okay.

2. Even the little things can help save the world.

3. Red-heads are evil!

4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there.

5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world.

6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old.

7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy.

8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does not make you emo; it makes you Fang-like.

9. French is the universal language.

10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement.

11. Count your blessings.

12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations. (eh never was into them anyway)

13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices.

14. Fang has the power to sum up your life story in nine words.

15. Even a kick-a, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes.

16. Never get hooked on Valium.

17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!!

18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars.

19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie.

20. Kids are better than adults.

21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress.

22. The best cooks are blind pyros.

23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom.

24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done.

25. School really is an evil place.

26. Teachers really are out to get you.

27. Remember to flap.

28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders.

29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!!

30. The order of power: God, Jesus, Chuck Norris, Max, Fang, Angel, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Total, humans, animals. Brigid, Sam, Dylan and Lissa don’t make the list.

You know you're addicted to MR when:

1. You know what MR means first of all.

2. When someone says “the School,” you think of an experimentation building in Death Valley. Not an educational facility.

3. Max is a girl’s name.

4. You have a newfound respect for blind people.

5. You half-expect dogs to talk and sprout wings.

6. Looking out to the sky, you want to so badly spot six flying bird kids.

7. You’d kill to be a bird kid.

8. You’re neither Team Edward nor Jacob. You’re Team Fang.

9. You hate the name Brigid, Lissa, and Dylan.

10. You wish to own an E-shaped house in the Colorado mountains one day.

11. You’re still single because you want someone like Fang to come and sweep you off your feet. Literally.

12. You start to like Avan Jogia JUST because he’s going to play Fang in the movie. (i honestly do not know who he is soooo)

13. Erasers are wolves, not school supplies.

14. You wish your mom was as cool as Dr. M.

15. You start to be skeptical of office buildings.

16. You develop claustrophobia.

17. Anything that is called “The Institute” makes you think it’s sketchy.

18. You only WISH you’re friends were pyros.

19. You automatically think of Fang when you see a kid dressed in all black.

20. You make a list of ways to kill Lissa and Dylan slowly and painfully.

21. WHY CAN'T FANG JUST BE REAL???? *coughs awkwardly*

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. (I am all of those things)

If you've ever looked at random peoples profiles just to get these stupid things, copy this on to your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile (doesn't everybody?)

PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE

ºø„ºø„„øº„øº
ºø„MAXIMUM RIDE„øº
„øº ROCKS!!ºø„
„øº„øººø„º

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good.

If you have (a) annoying sibling(s), copy/paste this on your profile!

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.

NOW YOU SHALL READ THE STORIES BELOW!