in Rocky Horror Picture Show voice Hello...

I'm Ilex the Irken. Well, my name may not really be Ilex, but I am Irken! Just ask people who know me. Of course, you'll probably come up with nothing but those Marshmallow Peeps that you can make Mega-Peeps in the microwave. Please Read and Review my story--soon to be stor-IES. If you don't , I will be forced to hunt you down and push you in a blender for my consumption. :d I don't want to scare you guys too much. I just saw Flippy do it on Happy Tree Friends. He's my role model. /half-joking

"If someone pisses you off, it takes around 32(?) muscles to make you frown. If someone really pisses you off, it takes only 4 muscles to slap 'em in the face."
~A Greeting Card

I wondered why there were no HTF fanfiction topics. Then I realized that there is no intelligible speech in HTF, besides "Oopeee. Hahaha." or "Sonnn! Where are ya!?" or "Oh yeah."

If you like potatoes, donuts, killing cartoon characters, finding out creative ways how to torture your own made characters, and hate the population who is super popular and focused on the mundane, post this in your profile.

This chain letter was first created by Mr. Blotch, the circus' fat bearded lady in 1564 AD, to save its baby girl Puxie. Once in the year AD 2101, a little girl named Dookie was taken to the hospital by her rescuer, a Pig farmer named BobbyJoe. He smelt of old fish and ham, and the little girl suffered immense prostate cancer. But as she was rushed to the hospital, she was stolen by a Siberian bear who abducted her, performed tests on her, then proceeded to eat her entrails. She got to the hospital anyway. Dookie is now -736 years old and is infamously known as "The Buttless Wonder". Continue the chain letter!