"If you can dream it you can do it"- Walt Disney

My name is Riddle. I don't know where the Valentine part originally came from, but I've since come up with some possible explanations.

Riddle in Real Life

In real life I oscillate between normality and obsession. I like Renaissance Venice, Pharonic Egypt and 18th Century English gentry: I'm not sure which era I'd rather live in but any one of them would beat 21st Century England. I have a nostalgic lust for royalty: my favourite monarch is Nefertiti, although Queen Anne Boleyn comes a close second for sheer tenacity. I adore satire. I enjoy playing Twister. I love to read. I am a feminist. I play the French Horn. I've just finished school: I served a sentence of over ten years in all-girls education, then transferred to a predominantly boys boarding school and realised men really aren't all they're cracked up to be (aside from the fictional ones, of course). I love my friends, although not many even know this account exists. I play entirely too much Sims 2, and suspect that the release of the Sims 3 will lead to the permanent loss of any form of social life. I adore poisonous creatures, and dangerous ones: Great White Sharks are my favourite fish, Poison Dart Frogs my favourite amphibians, Hummingbirds my favourite birds, Black Mambas my favourite reptiles, Leopards my favourite mammals (yes, I'm including humans in this), and the Velociraptor is hands-down my favourite extinct creature. I am studying Archaeology and Anthropology at university, and hope to begin publishing my first young adult series by the time I'm thirty. I will then move to Florida and spend my time writing and hunting for pretty seashells, since the whole Hogwarts dream didn't really work out. All I can hope is that I'll die and be able to wangle a suitable reincarnation from God, wherein I find myself miracuously inserted into Draco Malfoy's dorm room (it used to be Oliver Wood, but according to an online quiz I'm 92 per cent Slytherin, the rest Ravenclaw, so things had to be adjusted).

If you finished that, you're probably someone I could get on with. Feel free to PM me.

Riddle's Ships

I'm a pirate at heart: I love to sail, and sail the Seven Seas of shipping I do! (Slash ships, however, can get a little awkward so you don't see me on them very often). Yachts I'm likely to hop aboard when I can get time off school are: All Canon ships (why be against what the author decrees?) but in particular: James/Lily, Teddy/Victoire, Rose/Scorpius, Bill/Fleur, George/Angelina, Neville/Hannah, Lucius/Narcissa etc. Outside Canon, it's all about Draco/Ginny! I also like Ginny/Blaise, Luna/Blaise, Luna/Dean, Snape/Lily, Sirius/Bella, Sirius/OC and Charlie/OC. I can even get behind a Tom Riddle/OC if it's angsty enough. Outside HP, it's Jace/Clary (The Mortal Instruments), Alanna/George, Ali/Nawat (Tamora Pierce), Nick/Lirael, Sam/OC, Ellimere/OC (The Old Kingdom), Jacob/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Emmett/Rosalie, Carlisle/Esme (Twilight - I'm sorry, but Edward's a stalker and Renesmee's a mutant baby. I just can't see them that way) Takeo/Kaede (Tales of the Otori), Lizzie/Darcy (Pride and Prejudice). I'll think of more later, I'm sure.

Riddle In Fanon

First things first: if there is a spelling/grammar mistake in the first paragraph of a story, I am unlikely to continue or review. It's just something I can't move past to actually read a story. If this is a problem, get a beta! It's what they're there for!

I have recently come to the conclusion that Twilight isn't all it's cracked up to be: anyone who compares Harry Potter unfavourably to the series will face my wrath. Actually, anyone who says anything bad about Harry Potter at all will face my wrath. Hell hath no fury like a Potterite insulted!

I write. I read. I'm willing to beta, but generally only do it for friends as I'm a bit of a perfectionist and take loads of time over it. Ask me.

I like reading books that start with a map and take place in lands where immortals roam free, gifts from the Gods are given, Death isn't the end and everyone knows there IS such thing as magic. As her fans will probably have realised by now, I like Tamora Pierce.

I don't have a specific love of any one type of story: writing is all about expressing yourself. However, as authors go, I'm more likely to remain faithful to those with an eye for detail (isn't it lovely when someone manages to explain something in fanfiction that you always puzzled over in the books? Those are the moments I live for), and a meticulous care of canon (AU doesn't excuse mispelled names, poor grammar etc). Unlike some, I don't mind cliches (Head's dorm/Truth or Dare/Detention with Snape, anyone?), as long as they're well written, or make me laugh. After all, the reason so many people write them is because so many people like reading them! Parodies are always fun, too. However, one thing I can't stand is inaccurate Next-Gen fics: if you're writing about Teddy/Victoire, for Christ's sake get the names of all the other Weasley kids right!

Outside Harry Potter, I adore Garth Nix's The Old Kingdom series, (Abhorsen Series to some, comprising of Sabriel, Lirael and Abhorsen, with two more books scheduled for publication) which if you haven't read you MUST read now! The fact that it has less than five hundred entries on Fanfiction.net is a travesty! I recommend the series to any fantasy fans, and humbly beg them to help swell the ranks of Nix fans on this site.

I'm always on the lookout for good stories, whether they be chaptered, oneshots or anything, preferably of books that I've read. If you have something of your own or someone elses that you think I'd enjoy, and you'd like me to R&R, just PM me, but I'd be grateful if you check out one of my fics first and leave a review or two. All I ask in the fics I read is imagination, and respect for our beautiful language. If you're going to write in chatspeak, keep it to the forums. It's infuriating. Also, one of my pet hates is Americanisms in Harry Potter fanfictions. They stick out like a sore thumb.

Riddle's Writings

I'll be the first to admit that my stories aren't all that good. They're mostly pretty shallow and lighthearted. But I enjoy writing them, so feel free to peruse them if you so desire!

I don't really use a beta, so if there's a mistake in one of my stories, tell me, because I know how annoying it is when you're reading a fic and then there's a mispelled name or something that just ruins your day! At least, it does mine.

Big love to all my readers, and bigger love to all my reviewers. I love you guys.

Keep reading, and keep dreaming.

xX~Riddle~Xx

Some recomendations (this list will increase when I have a spring-clean of my favourites list!)

These are not in order of preference, just in the order I thought to put them up! They are the creme de la creme of my favourite's list, so if you want to take my advice and read one, go there! Also - the favourite authors list really is authors whose work I've read beginning to end (at least in one fandom). They're all fantastic, so head there if you have some time on your hands.

1) Dooki's "The Blame Game" and "The Art of Insanity", both D/G, both very, very funny!

2) Sanaryelle's "Five Great Charters" is superb, one of the best Abhorsen series fics I have found. She has also written some great oneshots. I especially adore "Alliel's Alibi" and "Sister Spell"

3) Lunasky's "How I got a boyfriend before lunch in Detention"- A D/G oneshot, it's completely random, but made me laugh.

4) Plan B, by MaraBoBara. I only found this D/G recently, but it is SO funny, and I'd read it for her Luna alone!

5) Hugs, not Drugs: A tribute to Albus Dumbledore, by sunny tuesday. A really funny parody oneshot thing.

6) Ooosk's 10 Things You never knew about the HP characters. Beautifully written.

7) J. L. Matthews the Slytherin Rising series. It's a shame it was never finished, but this is a really immense AU fic. Truly epic.

8) One Hundred Moments, by Ytak. Series of 100-word drabbles set around the Old Kingdom series. Really well written.

9) Anything Teddy/Victoire by sweasley. She singlehandedly got me into this ship. Check out her stuff.

A Quick Introduction to the Works of Valentine's Riddle:

PUBLISHED

Harry Potter: J.K.Rowling

The Hogwarts Chatroom Series: Comprising "Hogwarts Chatroom", "Madam Puddifoot's Chatroom" and "Chatroom Chaos", this is a very AU parody. Dumbledore has installed the internet at Hogwarts, and, predictably, chaos has ensued. Blackmail, espionage and a hell of a lot of gossip has followed. Loosely D/G. I think this is the funniest thing I've written! COMPLETE

Lonely Hearts: A Draco/Ginny oneshot. I'm not going to pretend this is particularly good, but it's nice for a light read, with a bit of banter. Ginny and Draco are stuck in detention together and Ginny decided to use the time to write a Lonely Hearts ad. Not as fluffy and disgusting as it sounds, don't worry, but pretty OOC as Draco/Ginny fics must always be. ONESHOT

James Potter Must Die: This, as the title implies, is a classic Marauder-era James-And-Lily-Banter story. I know it's cliched- if you don't like, don't read. Epilogue soon to follow, and possibly a sequel, but finished for now. COMPLETE

Ways to Annoy Draco Malfoy and Ways to Annoy Harry Potter and Ways to Annoy Ronald Weasley: These are what they say on the cover- lists. Not exactly fanfiction, but I personally find them quite funny and they were a laugh to write, so I put them up here anyway! ONESHOTS

Harry Potter and the Reign of the Mary-Sues: It's a parody one-shot, but a bit offensive... I wrote it after reading a horrifically Americanised fanfic, and I think my irritation with the constant references to "pants", "moms", "fourth period" and "spring vacation" probably came out in this story. I'm generally a rather polite person, so originally I decided not to publish it for fear of getting flamed! It finally found its way on here, in a severely watered-down format, after several requests from my wonderful readers. ONESHOT

Can You Keep A Secret?: Previously Skeletons in the Closet (I thought it was too grim...) Sometimes angsty, often funny, occasionally fluffy. This is my version of the classic "10 Things you never knew about..." fics. I'm going to start on the lesser-known characters as they're more interesting. Requests should be submitted in the form of reviews! ONGOING

The Abhorsen Series: Garth Nix

Flariel's Unorthodox Decorations: As with most of my Nix tributes, this is a oneshot. My story about the Dragon Desk and how it came into being. As random as it sounds, and I'm not entirely happy with it, but other people seem to like it, so...! ONESHOT

Cassiel's Big Blunder: Another oneshot, this explores the story of an Abhorsen mentioned just once in the books- Cassiel, the previous owner of Lirael's bells. Mogget tells us they "returned"... but where did they go in the first place! I quite liked the idea for this, and might expand the story a bit if I ever get time. ONESHOT

Ellimere's Guide to Socialising: These are more drabble, I suppose. On a whim I decided that I wanted to explore Ellimere's character a little further (it turned into a full-blown obsession, see below!) and so I wrote some letters from Ellimere to Lirael, set after Abhorsen. After all, why must her moody, hormonal younger brother have all the attention! My Ellimere is bright, sparky, bossy and a bit of a social butterfly. All in all, I rather like her. I may write some more of these once my other Ellimere fic is finished and published (again, see below). ONESHOT

Not Just a Princess: Ellimere's Tale: It's finally here, my first Garth Nix chapter fic! This will be ten chapters long, probably floating around 30,000 words. As I said above, I rather fell for my Ellimere and thought I'd tell her story. This follows what happens to her in Abhorsen, but don't worry, I'm not just repeating everything that's said in the books (although it does tie in very nicely). We meet some of Ellimere's friends, learn more about her life, and see the events leading up to the battle with the Destroyer from her own point of view. COMPLETE

Miscellaneous

Hansel and Gretel: A seriously sadistic reworking of the original fairy tale, written as a school project. Very weird. You have been warned. ONESHOT

UNPUBLISHED / IN THE PIPELINE

(Untitled) - A Pansy Parkinson Story: I'm rather fond of Pansy, I must admit, especially since she gets such a hard time in all those Draco/Ginny fics that I am generally so fond of, so I thought I'd write a story about her that paints her in a more flattering light. This is a partially-thought-out two-page-long plot bunny at the moment, as I think I should probably finish my other stories first, but I think it'll probably be Pansy playing matchmaker to Draco and, you guessed it, Ginny.

Riddle's Valentine: Named after my penname, not the other way around! I wanted to do a story about the young Tom Riddle falling in love, but that ties in with the other stories. It's half-finished, and very angsty, since he kills her at the end to make a Horcrux (up yours, Myrtle, she replaced you!), choosing power over love and thus cementing his fate. I'm finding the characterization difficult, though, so the chances of me ever putting the effort in to finish it are slim.

(Untitled) - A D/G fluffy oneshot: Ginny is trying to learn a Patronus, but just can't seem to get it right! "Use your happiest memory!" Harry reminds her, and she flashbacks to a happier time between herself and the gorgeous Draco, surprising Harry and everyone else with the perfect corporeal Patronus she manages to produce!