Hermione Granger was born a Parselmouth. She arrives at Hogwarts with less trust in authority (after all, muggle science somehow missed snake sentience), and a mission to prove snakes are people too. And Goblins. And Acromantulas. And… oh Merlin. Hogwarts isn't prepared for this, the Wizarding World isn't prepared for this, and Voldemort is *especially* not prepared for this.

"This can never happen again," he warned quietly, waving a hand between the two of them indicatively. Hermione nodded emphatically in agreement, not daring to say a word lest she be terribly rude. Or vomit. Either was an option. Hermione wondered why she had a terrible sinking feeling inside to think that it still might.

A slow burn fic about Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy taking dance lessons to learn the Tango. As the comedy builds, so does the tension -too bad Draco's set to marry Astoria. Dramione. WIP. ***FIRST PLACE: BEST ROMANCE 2017 Dramione Awards*** COMPLETE.

Witch Weekly's 'Modern Romance' series asks anonymous witches and wizards to record a week in their sex lives—with comic, tragic, provocative, and patently revealing results. Each week, a new episode unfolds in the lives of the Wizarding World's elite. Multiple pairings, post-war, EWE. COMPLETE.

Sirius just needed to nut up and tell Remus, because if he didn't, he might go insane and die. Or, less dramatically, and more likely, mope about his flat eating chips and scowling for the foreseeable future.

After tragedy strikes, Hermione discovers that not only is she not who she thought she was, a prophesy was made decades ago about her role in the war. Will she be able to accept her new reality and fight the good fight? Will her friends have her back through the harsh truths that surface? Set in fifth year, AU after Goblet of Fire. Triad fic.

Harry Potter was born with red hair, but the Dursley's always treated him like the proverbial red-headed stepchild. Once he enters the wizarding world however, everyone assumes he's just another Weasley. To Harry's surprise, the Weasleys don't seem to mind. Now written by Gilderoy Lockhart, against everyone's better judgement.

When the Marauders fight, fangirls cry and teachers take a breath of fresh air. "You don't mind me sitting here, do you?" I looked up and found my crush staring down at me. "I - erh, what?" Sirius Black winked. "Good. Don't need bloody James anyway. Hi," he said, turning to me as he sat down, "be my new best friend?" Don't judge me, but I might have fainted a little bit there.

Luckily, lazy came up in Petunia's tirades slightly more often than freak, otherwise, this could have been a very different story. AU. Not your usual Hufflepuff!Harry story.

Following a tumultuous break-up with Ron, Hermione finds herself intoxicated and relatively prone to poor decision making after she runs into Draco Malfoy in a club, having been years since she has seen him. Upon seeking to escape the following morning, she realizes he is her new neighbour and is quite insatiable. Winner of best Healer!Hermione in the Granger Enchanted Awards 2018.

After a close brush with the Death Eaters, Hermione awakens blinded and on the run with a familiar snarky Slytherin. In hiding, Hermione and Draco must find a way to survive - and somehow thwart a plot that could alter their very world. Dramione, post-DH, COMPLETE.

Draco expected to spend every minute of his ten year Azkaban sentence in bitter purgatory but is stunned when—of all people—Harry Potter and Hermione Granger arrive to set him free, at great personal cost. Stuck together for two years, Draco must learn to carve out happiness in silver linings and the grey areas. [Not Abandoned, just not Updated Much]

Hermione Granger comes to Hogwarts to teach a much needed Biology curriculum to the students. Draco Malfoy, the Potions teacher, doesn't approve of the sex ed. A bet ensues. Who will come out victorious? Rated M for lemons. COMPLETE. ****FIRST PLACE: BEST FLUFF/HUMOR 2017 Dramione Awards***

Draco Malfoy gets locked a closet with Hermione Granger at a party. But is that all to the story? Comedy, Romance, Mystery and so much smut to come. Dramione 3 part series. Rated M FOR A REASON (smut) -The unofficial sequel to A Touch of Bourbon. COMPLETE! **WINNER: BEST MINI FIC 2017 Dramione Awards**

"He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit." This is the story of four boys, two girls, and a rabbit.

100 years ago, The Malfoy Heirs were cursed by only enabling them to provide just one heir for each generation after. That is until two people fool around, after having consumed too much alcohol. Drama, Romance, EWE. Rated M for Mature.

Hermione and Draco find solace in each other as drinking buddies, but so much more develops. Rated M for graphic lemons. Post Hogwarts. Complete

A magical infection has Ron critically ill, but after the devastation of the war he decides his family and friends don't need to know. How long can he hide it though? And how will the consequences of his actions change the course of the future?

Voldemort has won, or mostly, and Death Eaters don't have a retirement plan so Draco Malfoy is stuck serving a master he hates. He and Blaise Zabini just try to keep their heads down and not attract attention. They aren't heroes. Then Hermione Granger gets Snatched and they make the fateful, stupid decision to save her. COMPLETE

"It's a veritable PTSD tour. With pastries. And hand-skimmed clotted cream. And Hermione has no idea why she's doing it, but it's becoming very apparent that she is." Sometimes you're sad. Sometimes you need dessert. And sometimes, it's a little of both. [COMPLETE, DRAMIONE]

It's been over five years since Hermione fled England with hopes to never return. She awakens after being beaten and dumped on the grounds of Hogwarts, with no memory of how she got home. Now she's forced to unravel the mystery with the help of the kind-hearted Harry Potter, and her old nemesis Draco Malfoy. (Post-war A/U. Triad Fic (Draco/Hermione/Harry) COMPLETE!

Hermione Granger returns to Hogwarts to help rebuild the shattered castle the summer after the war. She and the other summer resident - and eventually their friends - have to come to terms with how the war broke more than just the walls of the building. Follows multiple Hogwarts students through '8th year' and one additional year of early adulthood. COMPLETE.

One Shot. STRONG THEMES. Very Point? What Point? Hermione forms an unbreakable bond with Draco- Smut to follow! ANGST 3Plus,Abuse,Anal,Angst,BDSM,Bond,COMPLETE,Contro,D/s,Dom,F/F,Fingering,H/C,HJ,Humil,M/s,Oneshot,Oral,Other VERY DARK.

Just a little one shot of some sexy time between Draco and Hermione. If you don't like slightly kinky sex then don't read it. I don't own anything Harry Potter, it belongs to JK Rowling although sometimes I do wish to be her. :) No longer a one shot. By the way, this is probably considered OC. Just so ya know! ;)

WINNER: BEST HONORARY MARAUDER FIC in the MARAUDER MEDALS, 2016! "Someday . . . you'll do it your own way, not theirs!" Slytherin!Hermione, in which the brilliant witch catches the attention of creative twin wizards. It isn't easy, though. Not all Gryffindors are vastly brave, nor are all Slytherins loyal to their own. FW/HG/GW, AU from Hermione's 1st year. Cover art by windyshoes!

The war is over. Voldemort is dead and the ministry passes a marriage law. Many people are unhappy about it but mostly the pure-bloods. Harry, Draco and the gang are in Hogwarts for their last year of schooling. *Note to all readers inside!*

When a young green-eyed wizard and a minimally older brown-eyed witch, the best of friends for years, discover their mutual fondness for one particular armchair in front of one particular fireplace, it can inevitably mean one thing and one thing only: War. And then also – eventually, potentially – something else. Maybe. But first it's definitely war.

Draco Malfoy was still slightly awed to be standing on the doorstep of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He never would have thought that Harry Potter's very public and very ... sweary, emotional explosion would have led to him offering Draco, of all people, a job. DM/HP Rated for language, themes and sexual content ::::::::::NEW EPILOGUE ADDED 13th June 2015:::::::::::

Hermione and Draco team up after the war to overthrow the Order and take over wizarding Britain. "I don't even especially mind belonging to you most of the time," he closes his eyes and just breathes for a bit, savoring not being in pain. Finally he adds, "Just… try to take better care of your toys." Dark Dramione. COMPLETE

Hermione is sorted into Slytherin; how will things play out differently when the brains of the Golden Trio has different friends? AU. Darkish Dramione. COMPLETE.

Post-DH, Hermione confronts the post-war world, including the wizarding War Crimes Trials of 1999, rogue Dementors, werewolf packs, and Ministry intrigue. All is not well, and this is nothing new. Rated M for later chapters.

Hermione Granger is edging thirty, accident prone and haplessly single. One night, she decides it would be humourous (and hilariously masochistic) to timeline her failed relationships in a memoir. From losing her v-card in a broom closet, to hooking up in a public loo, to ruining her best friend's wedding - she's done it all. (UNDERGOING REVISION 05/08/2015)

HPDM slash. The day Harry stops Malfoy and his son from being bothered in Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between them. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation? COMPLETE.

It takes the unexpected engagement of their children to get Draco and Hermione in a room together, but only the selfish acts of their estranged spouses and a 300 Galleon bottle of firewhiskey will get them in a bedroom. What starts out as a one time mistake soon becomes a full-blown affair with a deadline; the day their children say 'I do'. But things rarely go according to plan.

The Silver Marauders are the most popular group in school, consisting of Ron, Harry, Blaise and Draco. Hermione is the most unpopular girl in school. Blaise wants to discover the motivation behind Draco's constant bullying of Hermione. AU. Violence. COMPLETE!

After Ron and Hermione have a falling out, Draco wants something from her that she isn't sure she can give. How she's going to handle this and all the other things going on with her friends? She doesn't know, but she would love to find out. Smut, EWE. Set after the final battle in August. Don't like DRAMIONE? Don't read it. A few original characters but VERY minor.

Chaos: when the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future. One gene varies, one neuron fires, one butterfly flaps its wings, and Draco Malfoy's life is completely different. Draco has always found a certain comfort in chaos. Perhaps he shouldn't. Featuring Genius!Draco.

Hermione Granger has dedicated her life to teaching former Death Eaters the error of their ways. When Draco Malfoy finds himself in trouble with the law, he is placed in a program that requires him to live as a Muggle under the direction of his fated enemy. Warning: Contains Adult Themes (WINNER of the 2013 Energize W.I.P Award)

For that was the one mystery left after the war: what had happened to Hermione Granger. She had been there by Potter's side all throughout the battle. Then after it was over she disappeared. No one could find her. No one knew where she was. Draco Malfoy hadn't even thought about Hermione Granger in years, until one day when he was given no other choice. Sequel now completed!

Who would expect that sharing a simple kiss with his best friend was all it needed to begin a journey far beyond his greatest imagination? Soul-bond fic

Astoria was never a fan of Hermione Granger, but pretty soon, she would be gone, and Draco was going to need all the help he could get. Rated M for future chapters.

Don't let the title fool you. While there is plenty of smut, this is a LOVE STORY. Down and out Harry goes to work in a porn studio. And who should be there, but Draco Malfoy. Harry can't help wondering if they'll work together. post Hogwarts H/D SLASH

1. Your name is Harry Potter. 2. You have seven days to marry Draco Malfoy. 3. Only one person was ever on your side. 4. She's trying to take over the world. 5. Harem? Tropetastic crackshot.

After the Dursleys abandon six year old Harry in a park in Kent, Harry comes to the realization that he is an elf. Not a house elf, though. A forest elf. Never mind wizards vs muggles; Harry has his own thing going on. Character study, pre-Hogwarts, NOT a creature!fic, slightly cracky.

Harry is a teacher at a preparatory school for young wizards and witches, and that is where he meets five-year-old Scorpius Malfoy. His fascination for the boy grows as their bond strengthens through teaching and learning. It isn't long before Draco is drawn into an evolving relationship.

"Are you ready?" she asked. Draco brushed the back of his hand against her forehead before tracing it down her cheek. "I was ready the moment you came back into my life, Granger. Are you ready?" "With you," she whispered, "I'm ready for anything."

Switching sides. "I have only one condition, and I trust it won't be hard for you to meet. I want Granger." Rated M for sex/language/torture.

A medieval tale of ancient prophecies, chivalrous duelling and a forbidden love between a Slytherin Prince and a lowly knight. Eventual Harry/Draco. Complete.

"Have you ever considered the advantages of owning a complete, four hundred and twenty seven volume set of encyclopedias?" Lucius's dream job brings about the apocalypse. Contains Time-Turner abuse, spearmint gum, a cosmic acid trip, and Luna Lovegood.

For seven years, Draco has carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and just when he thinks he'll be released, something happens that will make him seek help from the last person he could have imagined.

Hermione lost it all when she divorced. Draco would lose it all by age 30 if he didn't marry. Marriage to each other would be perfect, one would even say it was most convenient. Her daughter even looked like him, although, he wondered why that was.

Crack oneshot. Malcolm Baddock fails at office warfare, and Harry teaches his desk to speak.

Hermione Granger, the good girl. In her last year at Hogwarts, will she step outside the lines? Will she let enemies become friends and friends become more? Will she take the only risk worth taking? please READ & REVIEW !

7th year. Draco & Hermione awaken in a Muggle hotel room, naked, hung-over and tattooed. They also happen to be married. Thus begin a desperate search for a solution to their sticky situation.

Draco Malfoy is being stalked by a murderer intent on destroying the Malfoy line. He finds help from the most unlikely of sources, and perhaps a bit more. DH, not epilogue, compliant. Please read and review. First Fic! Warning: a bit of slash on the side.

When Hermione gets cursed at the Ministry, Harry and the Death Eaters discover the power he knows not. Unleashing this power has far reaching consequences. Weasley and Dumbledore bashing – time travel story that's hopefully different.

On the list of Very Bad Things Sirius Black has done, Snogging Moony In a Bathroom is really only eighth or ninth.

Lucius Malfoy has left a rather surprising will: if Draco works for Hermione for one year, both he and S.P.E.W. will inherit thirty million galleons. Of course, they might kill each other first... Not epilogue compliant. HG/DM.

Draco loves his son more than anything in the world. So, when his ex-wife plans to take his son away, Draco asks the most unlikely person for help. Hermione must decide whether changing her entire life is worth helping the man she hates unconditionally.

After the war, Neville and Harry meet up to mock people and get drunk. It's a good life. Post-DH oneshot crackfic.

After the war and university, Hermione Granger lives in New York City beginning a new life. Draco Malfoy fled his life of misery, fear, and cowardice with Blaise Zabini. Can time and distance lead to forgiveness, and perhaps, love? Post DH Spoilers

COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.

Draco Malfoy turns himself in after a very successful career as a Death Eater, then enlists Harry and Hermione to help him in a scheme to bring down the Dark Lord. DHr. A story of forgiveness.

After the war, Harry has picked up all the pieces and is ready to move on. But what happens when the key to his past shows up with shocking news?

Harry has learned the prophesy and he does not believe that a schoolboy can defeat Voldemort, so he decides that if he is going to die then he is first going to live.

Draco spends all day trying not to go crazy, Harry is king of takeaway.

Draco swore revenge on Harry for Lucius's imprisonment, and for once, he keeps his promise. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. But when Draco’s world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins. HD, COMP

Sirius Black remained the Secret Keeper and everything he feared came to pass. Ten years later, James and Lily live, Harry attends Hogwarts, and Voldemort remains…yet the world is different and nothing is as it seems. AU, updated for HBP.