Hello from the lovely country of Croatia where I am a Rotary International Exchange Student. I love it here and am enjoying my year, however while I am here I will not be updating any stories due to lack of time and large amounts of school work.

I am back from Croatia so expect an update soon (July 2 2013)

So I like a lot of fandoms, my favorites are Harry Potter, Axis Powers-Hetalia, X-Men Evolution, Sherlock, Drake Chronicles, and Marvel Avengers movies

I support a lot of couples when I think about it, and for the most part I don't mind most couples:

Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, James/Lily, Remus/Tonks, Ron/Luna, Fred/Hermione, George/Hermione, Percy/Oliver, Neville/Luna, Remus/Sirius, Albus Severus/Scorpius, Teddy/James Sirius, Teddy/Victorie, Rose/Scorpius, (if they are the same age: Remus/Hermione, Sirius/Harry)

Hetalia: Prussia/Canada, Prussia/S. Italy, America/S. Italy, America/Belarus, America/England, Hungary/Austria, Canada/Ukraine, Hungary/Prussia, Belarus/Prussia, Japan/Taiwan, England/Japan, France/Canada, France/England, Austria/Switzerland, Austria/Prussia, Greece/Japan, Spain/S. Italy, Lithuania/Poland, America/Japan, America/Denmark, America/Prussia, Denmark/Prussia, Sweden/Finland, Denmark/Norway, Germany/N. Italy

X-Men: Rogue/Remy, Kitty/Lance, Kitty/Piotr, Jean/Scott, Kurt/Amanda, Logan/Ororo,

Sherlock: Sherlock/John

Drake Chronicles: Lucy/Nicholas, Liam/Helena, Solange/Kieran, Quinn/Hunter, Isabeau/Logan, Conner/Christabel

Avengers: Steve/Tony, Steve/Natasha, Natasha/Clint, Clint/Phil, Tony/Pepper, Thor/Jane, Steve/Peggy, Natasha/Bucky, Clint/Tony, Bruce/Betty

My top fifteen pairings, no particular order, over all are: Rogue/Remy, Logan/Ororo, Steve/Tony, Clint/Phil, America/Belarus, America/S. Italy, Prussia/Canada, James/Lily, Remus/Tonks, Percy/Oliver, Fred/Hermione, Lucy/Nicholas, Albus Severus/Scorpius, Teddy/James Sirius, Sherlock/John,

My all time favorite crossover pairing is Harry Potter/Tony Stark

List twelve of your favorite characters in no particular order.

1) Oliver Wood
2) Ginny Weasley
3) Sirius Black
4) Fred Weasley
5) George Weasley
6) Luna Lovegood
7) Neville Longbottom
8) Hermione Granger
9) Harry Potter
10) Minerva McGonagall
11) Nymphadora Tonks
12) Percy Weasley

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Luna/Remus no never

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Fred is certainly good looking

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

If Percy knocked up Hermione Ron would blow a gasket

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yeah I have read a lot of good stories about Harry

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Ginny and Luna might work if they were both lesbians, that would actually be kind a interesting

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

George/Harry or George/Minerva I chose George/Harry

7. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Oliver/Hermione I don't think that exists

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

I read a bunch of fics about George a few months ago

17. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (12).

Oliver and Neville are in a happy relationship until Harry runs off with Neville. Oliver, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Tonks and a brief unhappy affair with Luna, then follows the wise advice of George and finds true love with Percy.

Well at least it ended with one of my favorite couples

18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight?

Neville and Hermione would end with Neville cowering in frear.

19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

If I was related to George I would be related to all the Weasleys which wold be amazing

20. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

Hermione ans Tonks I would raise an eyebrow and walk away

21. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

If Ginny did that I would be very sad

22. If you saw (9) and (3) in bed together, what would you do?

Sirius and Harry I would assume that Sirius was just comforting Harry because of nightmares

23. What would you say if you found out that (12) was a rapist?

I would go into shock because it is Percy

24. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

I would be really confused because why the hell would McGonagall be in my house

25. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?

I would think Puddlemore United lost an important quidditch came for Oliver to do that

26. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now?

I would blush

27. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?

I would ask if shes eradicating nargles or something

When you don't know who the villain is, nor where to find the bones - When Gregson tugs his whisker ends - and so Lestrade and Jones - When Scotland Yard runs around half-made, whilst Whitehall quakes and moans - Then seek 221B, my lads, and ask for Sherlock Holmes

I found this on someone's signature on deviantart, it was the most amazing thing I had read in a long time, so I brought it here so you could read it. Credit to whoever thought this up.

I am 18 but I act 26

How old are you?

18

[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee

[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar

[x] You own a credit card

[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car

[x] You've done your own laundry

[x] You can vote in an election

[x] You can cook for yourself

[ ] You think politics are interesting

TOTAL SO FAR: 6

[x] You show up for school late a lot

[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket

[x] You've never gotten a detention

[x] You have forgotten your own birthday

[x] You like to take walks by yourself

[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up

[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week

TOTAL SO FAR: 13

[x] You know how to do the dishes

[x]You can count to 10 in another language

[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it

[x] You can mow the lawn

[ ] You study even when you don't have to

[x] You have hand washed a car before

TOTAL SO FAR: 18

[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up

[ ] The people at Starbucks know your usual

[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out

[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need

[x] You understand political jokes the first time they are said

[x] You can type pretty quickly

TOTAL SO FAR: 22

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment

[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party

[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job

[ ] You have more bills than you can pay

[x] You have been to the beach

[x]You use the internet every day

[x]You have been outside of the united states 3 or more times

[ ]You make your bed in the morning

TOTAL: 26

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees.

Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.

Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.

Sirius Black … killed by drapery.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is 'quietly' going insane.

Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.

Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.

DADDY

'At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

I am a complete daddy's little girl

You studied with Hermione
You stumbled with Ron
You hid creatures with Hagrid
You laughed with Fred and George
You fought with Voldemort
You forgot with Neville
You got caught with the DA
You rebelled against Umbridge and Snape
You cheered on Gryffindor
You kept up the rivalry with Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins
You worked with Dumbledore
You stuck with Harry 'til the end
Now it's nearly over, and…
…now all you can do is remember and thank J.K. Rowling for the time of your life

THE BLOND TEST

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out

2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you blonde highlights are going to your head

7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand (actually I was looking for my glasses and I was already wearing them)

9. Tried to push open a door that said pull

10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion

12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else

13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs

14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave

15. Have gotten gum/marshmallow stuck in your hair

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble

17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard

19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on

22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.

23. Have run into a closed door

24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else

25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke

27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer

28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan

29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside

33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else

34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot

36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard

39. Walked into a pole

40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house

42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on

43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it

45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.

46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up

48. Have poked yourself in the eye

49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on.

50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair (no but I have melted a hairbrush with an iron and not even a curling iron an actual iron iron)

51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test

52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it.

54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.

55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on

57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.

58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa

62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it

63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence

64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person

65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side

66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong

68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it

69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.

70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face

72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb

73. Ran into a door jam

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid

75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. Have purposely licked playground sand

77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band

78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't

79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out

81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off (my little brothers while trying to tape his mouth shut)

82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.

84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about.

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair.

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone.

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird.

88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people.

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria.

90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.

91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil.

92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers/toes then named them.

93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper.

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story.

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before

98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

69/100

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Harry Potter oath

I promise to remember Tonks

Each time I knock something down.

And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley

Whenever I'm out of town.

I promise not to obey traffic laws

For Sirius's sake of course.

And I promise to remember Lupin

When my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Arthur

Whenever I am at St Mungo's Room.

And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins

Every time fireworks boom.

I promise to remember Lily

When I see someone that holds pure beauty.

And I promise to remember Dobby

Whenever a pair of socks spots me.

I promise to remember Teddy

When I see someone with turquoise hair.

And I promise to remember Molly

When someone tells me they care.

I promise to remember Ginny

Whenever bogey hexes are unfurled.

And I promise to remember the death eaters

When someone speaks of dominating the world.

I promise to remember Harry

When someone grows up with no love.

I promise to remember Ron

When someone is jealous.

I promise to remember Hermione

When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years.

I promise to remember James and Lily

when someone dies before their time.

I promise to remember Dumbledore

At the thought of the greater good.

I promise to “Solemely Swear That I Am Up To No Good”

for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course.

I promise to remember Moony

And fight for human rights.

I promise to remember Narcissa

When I’d do anything for family.

I promise to remember Dora Tonks

When someone is hyper.

I promise to remember Hedwig,

who lived and died soaring.

I promise to remember Percy

When ambition gets the best of me.

I promise to be careful

For Moody’s sake, of course.

I promise to remember Hagrid

When one is wrongly blamed.

I promise to remember Neville

when I stand up for what is right.

I promise to remember the Marauders

When a friend says “Call me and I’ll be there.”

Yes I promise to love Harry Potter

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the wizards know.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

From loveisforfairytales profile:

Harry Potter taught me that some things are worth dying for.

Ron Weasley taught me that believing in yourself is a hundred times more powerful than luck.

Hermione Granger taught me that an education is a girl’s best asset, even if it doesn’t make you many friends.

Severus Snape taught me to never, ever, ever judge someone.

Rubeus Hagrid taught me that anything can be cute with the right perspective.

Ginny Weasley taught me that bold is beautiful.

Lily Potter taught me that a mother’s love is the strongest force on earth.

Remus Lupin taught me that fear is the only thing I should be afraid of.

Dolores Umbridge taught me that education with a political agenda is a terrible, terrible thing.

Sirius Black taught me that the ones we love never truly leave us.

Albus Dumbledore taught me that good people are not always good.

Draco Malfoy taught me that bad people are not always bad.

Neville Longbottom taught me that courage is standing up for what’s right, even when you’re scared out of your mind.

Luna Lovegood taught me that weird is wonderful.

Dobby taught me that freedom is a gift.

Lucius Malfoy taught me that no amount of money, pomp, or circumstance will buy you true friends.

Fred & George Weasley taught me that sometimes all you need is a good laugh.

The Dursleys taught me that a world without imagination is a dull and dreary place.

Arthur Weasley taught me that a good sense of curiosity and a bit of obsession can be healthy.

Fleur Delacour taught me that true love is not based on appearance.

Molly Weasley taught me that a happy family is not measured in gold.

Bellatrix Lestrange taught me that hatred and prejudice rot your mind and can turn even the most beautiful person into a monster.

Kreacher taught me that if you want to get to know a man, look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.

Cho Chang taught me that rebound relationships almost never work.

Nymphadora Tonks taught me to love myself, no matter what I look like.

Percy Weasley taught me that, in the end, no career is worth sacrificing your family.

Sybill Trelawney taught me that you cannot change the past, only the future.

Lavender Brown taught me that physical relationships only last for so long.

Peter Pettigrew taught me that rats do not make good friends.

Nicholas Flamel taught me that to the well-prepared mind, death is but the next great adventure.

Minerva McGonagall taught me that a good cause is worth fighting for at any age.

Hedwig taught me that the love we have for our pets is very real.

Lord Voldemort taught me that a life without love is barely living.

J. K. Rowling taught me that the stories we love will always be with us.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will hand you a Kleenex and ask you “Who do I have to kill?”

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run, bitch, run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend convinces you not to jump off the cliff. A best friend hugs you "Goodbye, I'll miss you. Can I have your I-pod?

How much am I worth?

Hair Color
() Brown £100
() Blonde £50
(x) Dyed £25
() Black £15
() Bald £5
() Other £75
Total so far- £25

Eye Color
() Brown £50
() Green £75
(x) Blue £150
() Hazel £100
() Other £15
Total so far- £175

Height
() Over 7'- £200
() 6'8"- 7' £175
() 6'- 6'7" £150
() 5'5''- 5'11" £75
(x) 5'4"- 5'10" £85
() Under 5'4" £0
Total so far- 260

Age
() 50-56 £175
() 46-49 £150
() 41-45 £125
() 31-40 £100
() 26-30 £75
() 21-25 £5o
() 19-20 £25
(x) 0-18 £100
Total so far- £360

Birth order
() Twins or more than twins £750
() First born £320
(x) Second born £150
() Only child £250
(x) Middle £100
() Last born £100
() Third born £550
() Fourth born £300
() Fifth born £400
() Sixth born £215
Total so far- £610

Drink?
() I did like once £400
(x) On Holidays £250
() Sometimes £215
() YES £200
() Only weekends £300
() Every other day £50
() Once a day £15
() I live from the bottle £Bankrupt
() No £600
Total so far- £860

Vision?
() Perfect £400
() need or have glasses/contacts, but don't wear them £200
(x) glasses £50
() contacts £25
() surgical correction £100
Total so far- £910

Shoe size
() 13£300
() 12 and a half-13 £250
() 11-12 £400
() 7-10 £50
(x) 7 or less £450
Total so far-£1360

Favorite colors (multiple)
(x) Green £750
(x) Red £600
(x) Black £100
() Yellow £475
() Brown £300
(x) Purple £225
() White £400
() Aqua £350
() Orange £300
() Blue £300
() Pink £100
() Other £500
Total so far- £3035

Did you use a calculator to add this?
(x) No £1000
() Some £750
() yes £0

and the Grand Total is... 4035

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end.

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing...

...In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!

...She deserved everything she got and more.

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.

...In Remembrance to Sirius Black...

...Who never got to walk free...

...Who had to live with a crazy house elf and screaming portrait for a year...

...And who had to get killed by a curtain.

the thing you just read is propriety of xINFRAxREDx but I agree with it all

You know you live in 2012 when...

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn;t even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

Some labels on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.

Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.

On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.

On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.

On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.

On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.

A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.

A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.

Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.

On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.

In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

Directions for mosquito repellant:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.

On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.

On a washing machine in a launderette:
No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.

On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.

Gryffindor:

1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.

2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of idiocy.

3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.

4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.

5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.

6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!

7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.

8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.

9. Gryffindors are attention whores.

Slytherin:

1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.

2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.

3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.

4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.

5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).

6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).

7. Why be normal? Or good?

8. We're future Death Eaters. Deal with it.

9. Slytherin means never having to say you're sorry.

10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.

11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.

13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.

14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.

15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.

17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

18. Never wound what can kill you.

Hufflepuff:

1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.

2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.

3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.

4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.

5. You think we're nice? That's cute...

6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.

7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.

8. Hufflepuff: We'll kill you with smiles and rainbows.

9. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.

10. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.

11. Hufflepuffs know how to party.

12. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?

13. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

14. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.

Ravenclaw:

1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.

2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.

3. I can kill you with my brain.

4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.

5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).

6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.

7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (We wrote the book)

8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.

9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated.

10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just stupid.

Favorite Quotes:

Sherlock:

Anderson: According to someone, the murderer has the case and we found it in the hands of our favorite psychopath.
Sherlock: I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath, do your research. (Sherlock)

Sherlock: You're a doctor. In fact you're an army doctor.
Watson: Yes.
Sherlock: Any good?
Watson: Very good.
Sherlock: Seen a lot of injuries then. Violent deaths.
Watson: Well. Yes.
Sherlock: Bit of trouble too I bet.
Watson: Of course. Yes. Enough for a lifetime. Far too much.
Sherlock: Wanna see some more?
Watson: Oh god yes. (Sherlock)

Watson(about Sherlock's deductions): That. Was amazing.
Sherlock: You think so?
Watson: Of course it was. Extraordinary. It was quite extraordinary.
Sherlock: That's not what people normally say.
Watson: What do people normally say?
Sherlock: "Piss off." (Sherlock)

Sherlock: We've got ourselves a serial killer. Love those—there's always something to look forward to. (Sherlock)

Sherlock(Texting John): Baker Street. Come at once if convenient. SH (A second later) If inconvenient come anyway. SH (Sherlock)

Watson: That's the phone— the pink phone.
Lestrade: What, from A Study in Pink?
Sherlock: Well obviously it' s not the same phone. But it's supposed to look like— "A Study in Pink"? You read his blog?
Lestrade: Of course I read his blog. We all do. Do you really not know that the Earth goes around the sun? (Sherlock)

Lestrade: Any ideas?
Sherlock: Seven. So far. (Sherlock)

Watson: Any time you want to explain?
Sherlock: Homeless network.
Watson: Homeless network?
Sherlock: My eyes and ears all over the city.
Watson: That's clever. So you scratch their backs and...
Sherlock: Yes. And then disinfect myself. (Sherlock)

Watson(checks out the surroundings): Are you wearing any pants?
Sherlock: No.
Watson: Okay. (they start laughing) Buckingham Palace. Right. I'm am seriously fighting an impulse to steal an ashtray. (Sherlock)

Watson: What are we doing here? Sherlock, no, seriously. What?
Sherlock: I don't know.
Watson: Here to see the Queen? (Mycroft appears)
Sherlock: Apparently, yes. (Sherlock)

Mycroft: Just once can you two behave like grown-ups?
Watson: We solve crimes, I blog about it and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope. (Sherlock)

Sherlock: Mycroft, I don't do anonymous clients. I'm used to mystery at one end of my cases. Both ends is too much work. Good morning.
[Sherlock stands up & begins to walk away but Mycroft steps on sheet Sherlock is wearing, causing it to fall off but Sherlock catches it just as it falls bas his stomach leaving him nearly naked]
Mycroft: This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!
Sherlock: Get off my sheet!
Mycroft: Or what?
Sherlock: Or I'll just walk away.
Mycroft: I'll let you.
Watson: Boys, please. Not here. (Sherlock)

Sherlock: Phone Lestrade. Tell him there's an escaped rabbit.
Watson: Are you serious?
Sherlock: It's this or Cluedo.
Watson: Ah, no. We are never playing that again.
Sherlock: Why?
Watson: Because it's not actually possible for the victim to have done it, Sherlock. (Sherlock)

Sherlock: Yes, if I wanted poetry I'd read John's emails to his girlfriends. Much funnier. (Sherlock)

Watson: Did we just break in to a military base to investigate a rabbit? (Sherlock)

Watson: Can we not do this this time?
Sherlock: Do what?
Watson: You being all mysterious with your cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool.
Sherlock: I don't do that. Watson: Yeah, you do. (Sherlock)

Watson: I mean, this isn't a deerstalker now. It's a Sherlock Holmes hat. I mean that you're not exactly a private detective anymore. You're this far from famous.
Sherlock: Oh, it'll pass.
Watson: It better pass. The press will turn, Sherlock. They always turn. And they'll turn on you.
Sherlock: It really bothers you.
Watson: What?
Sherlock: What people say.
Watson: Yes.
Sherlock: About me. I don't understand, why would it upset you?
Watson: Just try to keep a low profile. Find yourself a little case this week. Stay out of the news. (Sherlock)

Watson(Walks into the kitchen & spots a mannequin hanging by a noose): So. Did you just talk to him for a really long time? (Sherlock)

Watson: Remember—
Sherlock: Yes.
Watson: Remember—
Sherlock: Yes.
Watson: Remember what they told you. Don't try to be clever—
Sherlock: I know.
Watson: —and please just keep it simple and brief.
Sherlock: I'm confident a star witness at a trial should come across as intelligent.
Watson: Intelligent, fine. Let's give smartass a wide berth.
Sherlock: I'll just be myself.
Watson: Are you listening to me? (Sherlock)

Watson: Don't do that.
Sherlock: Do what?
Watson: The Look.
Sherlock: The Look?
Watson: You're doing The Look again.
Sherlock: I can't see it, can I? (he looks in the mirror) It's my face?
Watson: Yes, and it's doing a thing. You're doing a "We both know what's really going on here" face.
Sherlock: Well we do.
Watson: No. I don't. Which is why I find The Face so annoying. (Sherlock)

Watson: I'm sensing a pattern here.
Mycroft: In fact four top international assassins relocate within spitting distance of 221B. Anything you care to share with me?
Watson: I'm moving? (Sherlock)

Sherlock: Brilliant, Anderson.
Anderson: Really?
Sherlock: Yes. Brilliant impression of an idiot. (Sherlock)

Molly(Talking to Sherlock): You look sad. When you think he can't see you.(She motions to John). (Sherlock)

Watson: Sherlock, I don't want the world believing you're...
Sherlock: That I am what?
Watson: A fraud.
Sherlock: You're worried they're right.
Watson: What?
Sherlock: You're worried they're right about me.
Watson: No.
Sherlock: That's why you're so upset. You can't even entertain the possibility that they might be right. You're afraid that you've been taken in as well.
Watson: No I'm not.
Sherlock: Moriarty is playing with your mind too. Can't you see what's going on!
Watson: No, I know you're for real.
Sherlock: A hundred percent.
Watson: Nobody can fake being such an annoying dick all the time. (Sherlock)

Avengers:

Tony: Dr. Banner, your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
Bruce: ...Thanks. (Avengers)

Tony: You should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top 10 floors, all R&D, you'd love it. It's candy-land.
Bruce: Thanks, but the last time I was in New York, I kind of broke... Harlem. (Avengers)

Captain America: Doc... I think now would be a good time for you to get angry.
Bruce: That's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry. (Avengers)

Bruce: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
Thor: Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother.
Natasha: He killed eighty people in two days.
Thor: He's adopted? (Avengers)

Tony(To Bruce): You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed? (Avengers)

Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?
Tony Stark: Funny things are. (Avengers)

Steve Rogers: Are you nuts?
Tony Stark: Jury's out. (Avengers)

Agent Phil Coulson(Over telephone): Mr Stark, we need to talk.
Tony Stark: You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.
Agent Phil Coulson: This is urgent.
Tony Stark: Then leave it urgently. (Coulson enters) Security breach. (To Pepper) It's on you.
Agent Phil Coulson: Mr. Stark.
Pepper Potts: Phil! Come in.
Tony Stark: Phil? Uh, his first name is Agent. (Avengers)

World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision.
Nick Fury: I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it. (Avengers)

Tony Stark(regaining consciousness): What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me!
Steve Rogers: We won.
Tony Stark: Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just... not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. (To Hulk) Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it. (Avengers)

Natasha Romanoff(Back to back firing at aliens): This is just like Budapest all over again.
Clint Barton: You and I remember Budapest very differently. (Avengers)

Loki: How will your friends have time for me, when they'll be too busy fighting you?
(Taps Stark with his scepter... nothing happens)
Loki(Tries again, with no success): This usually works...
Tony Stark: Well, performance issues. Not uncommon. One out of five... (Avengers)

Thor: Do not touch me again!
Tony Stark: Then don't touch my stuff.
Thor: You have no idea what you're dealing with.
Tony Stark: Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes? (Avengers)

Tony Stark: That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did. (Avengers)

Loki: Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity.
Tony Stark: Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you.
Loki: You should have left your armor on for that.
Tony Stark: Yeah. It's seen a bit of "mileage" and you got the "glow-stick of destiny." Would you like a drink?
Loki: Stalling me won't change anything.
Tony Stark: No, no no, threatening! No drink? You sure? I'm having one. (Avengers)

(Loki awakens to find the Avengers staring at him)
Loki: If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now. (Avengers)

Natasha Romanoff(All arguing in the lab): Are you all really that naive? S.H.I.E.L.D monitors potential threats.
Bruce Banner: Captain America is on potential threat watch list?
Tony Stark(To Rogers): You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?
Steve Rogers: I swear to God, Stark, one more crack...
Tony Stark: Threatening! I feel threatened! (Avengers)

Steve Rogers: Stark? We got him.
Tony Stark: Banner...?
Steve Rogers: Just like you said.
Tony Stark: Then tell him to suit up... I'm bringing the party to you.
(He and the Leviathan turn around a building and speed toward the rest of the Avengers)
Natasha Romanoff: I, I don't see how that's a party... (Avengers)

Tony Stark: Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining clean energy.
Pepper Potts: Wow. So maybe our reactor takes over and it actually works?
Tony Stark: I assume. Light her up.
(As Iron Man flies to the Stark Tower building, the power is switched on and the Stark sign lights up)
Pepper Potts: How does it look?
Tony Stark: Like Christmas, but with more... Me. (Avengers)

Thor: You listen well, brother. I...
(Thor is knocked off the mountain by Iron Man who tackles him in mid-flight)
Loki: I'm listening. (Avengers)

Faceless Pilot: Target acquired.
(Fires guns at Hulk)
Faceless Pilot: Target engaged.
(As Hulk leaps toward airplane)
Faceless Pilot: TARGET ANGRY! TARGET ANGRY! (Avengers)

Steve Rogers: Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?
Bruce Banner: He got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.
Tony Stark: Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunnelling effect.
Bruce Banner: Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet.
Tony Stark: Finally, someone who speaks English.
Steve Rogers: Is that what just happened? (Avengers)

Tony Stark(Covers his left eye & looks around): How does Fury even see these?
Maria Hill: He turns.
Tony Stark: Sounds exhausting. (Avengers)

Nick Fury(To Loki): Well, let me know if 'real power' wants a magazine or something. (Avengers)

Tony Stark(To Steve Rogers): I'm not afraid to hit an old man. (Avengers)

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.

She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

When life gives you lemons, find someone who life gave vodka and through a party

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and make the world wonder how you did it

Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow

I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now if only I can figure out where I am..

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Stressed is Desserts backwards :)

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away...plus, you have their shoes!

Where's the good in goodbye?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

We all smile in the same language

I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present!

My door is always open, so feel free to leave

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again

Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

Intelligence has limits, stupidity doesn't.

Smile...it confuses people!

Ifyoucanreadthisthenyouarewaytoosmartforyourowngood.

If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.

A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

Last night I played poker with a pack of tarrot cards, I got a full house and four people died

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me". - Harry Potter

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities". - Albus Dumbledore

"Why spiders? Why couldn't it be 'Follow the butterflies?'" - Ron Weasley

"...from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."-Ron Weasley

"So top grade's O for 'Outstanding,'" she [Hermione] was saying, "and then there's A-"
"No, E," George corrected her, "E for 'Exceeds Expectations.' And I've always thought Fred and I should've got E in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams."

"I don't know where you learned about right and wrong, but you seem to have missed a few crucial lessons."
- Mrs. Weasley

"I'll join you when hell freezes over. Dumbledore's Army!"
- Neville Longbottom

"I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."George

"Now, you two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet or - "

"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."Mrs. Weasley, Fred, and George.

“Oh, these people’s minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they’re not like you and me,” said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with a piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him. -Vernon

"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"

"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor." :Harry. HBP.

"Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron's got?"
"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.": Ginny.

Where’s the fun without a bit of risk?” – Fred Weasley,

"Just one more, Master Harry, for luck?": Kreacher.

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all, pity those who live without love.": Dumbledore.

"Do you think we'll ever have a quiet year at Hogwarts?"

"Who told you 'bout Fluffy?"
"Fluffy?"
"That thing has a name?"
- Hagrid, Ron and Hermione

"Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled."
"She needs to sort out her priorities."
- Hermione and Ron

"You're a little scary sometimes, you know that. Brilliant. But scary."
- Ron, paying Hermione a compliment of sorts

"What happened in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knows."
- Professor Albus Dumbledore, to Harry

"Welcome! Welcome to the new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"
- Albus Dumbledore

Have you ever heard of a plan where so many things could go wrong?"
- Ron

A week ago. Harry would have said finding a partner for a dance would be a cinch compared to taking on a Hungarian Horntail. But now that he had done the latter, and was facing the prospect of asking a girl to the ball, he thought he'd rather have another round with the dragon.
- Narration

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book. Author Unknown

We're all mad here."-Cheshire cat

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”-Dr. Suess

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.”- Dr. Seuss

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
Dr. Seuss

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life WHY ARE YOU SCARED?!

Practice makes perfect...but some say nobody is perfect so why practice

I am a bomb technician... if you see me running try to keep up

When life give you lemons, keep them, because hey, free lemons.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

Few girls admit their age. Few guys act theirs.

Never take life to seriously... you’re not getting out of it alive.

Trust me. I'm a genius Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how smart I am. They would be to scared. Artemis Fowl

I girl born for hangin ain't likely to drown. Bloody Jack

I read a lot. I love books. If they came in a bottle, I would be drunk too. Drake Chronicles (Bleeding Hearts)

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I am not to sure about the universe.

Gay marriage

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... -_-

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

Mr. Harry Potter,
Thank you for remaining strong when we couldn’t be.

Mr. Ronald Weasley,
Thank you for always coming back.

Miss Hermione Granger,
Thank you for having a good heart, and forgiving those who should be forgiven.

Mr. Draco Malfoy,
Thank you for finding the light when things started getting dark.

Mr. George Weasley,
Thank you for finding humor when we could barely smile.

Mr. Albus Dumbledore,
Thank you for lighting the way and guiding us.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,
Thank you for all you sacrificed.

Mr. Sirius Black and Mr. Remus Lupin,
Thank you for your loyalty.

Mr. Rubeus Hagrid,
Thank you for your undying compassion.

Mr. Neville Longbottom,
Thank you for your bravery.

Miss Luna Lovegood,
Thank you for your wise words.

Miss Ginny Weasley,
Thank you for being strong-willed in spite of everything you've been through.

Dobby,
Thank you for showing us the value of friendship.

Mr. Fred Weasley,
Thank you for the memories.

Mr. Lucius and Mrs. Narcissa Malfoy,
Thank you for choosing to be better for your son's sake.

Mr. James and Mrs. Lily Potter,
Thank you for giving your life for your only son.

Miss Minerva McGonagall,
Thank you for understanding your students and helping them with their problems.

Mr. Severus Snape,
Thank you for your love.

And to Mrs. Joanne Kathleen Rowling,
THANK YOU FOR MY CHILDHOOD

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.