Hi FF.net!

Here's stuff about me(if anyone cares):

Age:Born in 1994. Do the math.

Hair:Brown

Eyes:Brown

Birthday:It's in August

Not much to say about me. I love anime and manga. I find reading fun(I think reading for pleasure is dying out.Seriously). I also have a slight obsession with fanfiction and the computer in general. Another obsession I have is the Twilight saga.T wilight got to be one the best books in the history of mankind. I'm proud to say I'm Team Edward all the way.Though I like Jacob Black(I mean, he's got a sort of bad boy persona going which I like),Edward's just so much better for Bella. Emotionally, not physically:)

I also hate any type of sport and school. Let me tell you,HIGH SCHOOL IS THE WORST!! But you probably already knew that. With fanfiction, I mostly read,not write. I think I'm bad writer.Though I do have a few ideas for stories. Go check out some of my favorites. I've got a lot of them.

Fav. Anime/Manga:

Inuyasha

Kamichama Karin

Vampire Knight

Fruits Basket

Full Moon Wo Sagashite

Pixie Pop

Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne

and some others I'm not remembering.

Fav. Books:

Twilight series

Blue Bloods series

Reincarnation

Wicked

The Lovely Bones

and many others!

Fav. Music:

Whatever I find interesting, don't really have a preference.

That's enough about me. I'm not that interesting.Now, to add some length to an otherwise boring profile.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands = Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and saefest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise

31. Selfish can be a beautiful word.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(I blame the parents for this one.)

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Edward Cullen made every girl want a bloodthirsty vampire instead of a knight in shining armor.

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Swan: Clumsier than you since 1989

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?...

If at first, you don't succeed, try try again. If once again you fail, destroy the trail.

You see, I used to be normal. But then I learned to read. So, the normalness went right down the drain! My dad blames my first grade teacher...

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste.

she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
she said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi & said ‘drink up’
she said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.
she said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along w. scissors & had her cut it up.
she said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her earz pierced.
she said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.
she said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a nametag that sad "my name is: ALONE."
she said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always; he asked when he wasnt.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

92 percent of teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.)

1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, not motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.
26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
43. Swat at flies that don't exist.
44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.

"A guy gave his girl 12 roses, 11 real, one fake. There was note, and it said, "When the last rose dies, that's when I'll stop loving you."-Unknown

Went to a party Mom...

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a soda instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and goodbye.

Read this and if you and if you don't cry, or at least feel emotion, there's something wrong with you.

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong

When she ignore's you, Give her your attention

When she pull's away, Pull her back

When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Tease her and let her tease you back

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

Give her the world

Let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important

Kiss her in the pouring rain

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

Bill Gates' Message on Life

For recent high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did not learn in school.

In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good, politically-correct teachings created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

RULE 1...Life is not fair; get used to it.

RULE 2...The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3...You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4...If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5...Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6...If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7...Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

RULE 8...Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9...Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summer off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10...Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11...Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world!

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you

"She said "I'm afraid of falling..." and he whispered "I have wings" "-Unknown

THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head).

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. If you're female: Take some men's clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. If the attendant says anything, act shocked and insist: "But I AM a man!" If you're a man, vice versa.

69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!"

71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here.

72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.)

73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem.

74. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV's to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly.

77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.

78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying.

79. One word: STREAK!

80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a toaster.

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are.

84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities".

85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you're walking through the doors act like you're expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department.

90. Put lingerie in the men's department.

91. Put super sexy women's lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around.

92. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.

94. Put condoms in the mannequin's hands, and cigarettes in their mouths. (Safety warning: Leave cigarettes unlit.)

95. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and "buzzing".

96. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept.

97. Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!! I haven't seen you in so long!!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn't you ever call me?" and walk away. Much more effective if you're also a guy.

98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible.

99. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone.

100. Ask everyone in Electronics, "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until somebody throws you out.

101. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash. Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins.

102. Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet Department. Pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks.

103. With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too. (Note - This really works)

104. Steal a Walmart shirt, and the possibilities are endless.

105. ATTEMPT THIS ALL IN THE SAME VISIT.

We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see and two ears to hear, why then, were we given only one heart?
Because the other one was given to someone else for us to find.

Whoever critisizes our generation obviously has forgotten who raised it.

Friends are just angels without wings.

True love is when you don't want to sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

When two hearts race, both win

There is nothing you can really DO to deserve love. Love is a gift that can only be given.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Bad Girls vs Good Girls

· Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
· Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
· Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
· Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.
· Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
· Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
· Good girls say, ''Don't... Stop...'' Bad girls say, ''Don't Stop...''

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...

Sad

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart.

Repost as Sad

Love doesn't make the world go round,
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
11. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn't repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You're diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it's still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35.The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don't have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they're the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don't succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47.The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48.The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
49.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51.You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough chlorine!)
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

A Fireman’s Prayer

“When I am called to duty, God,

Whenever flames may rage;

Give me strength to save some life,

Whatever be its age.

Help me embrace a little child

Before it is too late

Or save an older person

From the horror of that fate.

Enable me to be alert

And hear the weakest shout,

And quickly and efficiently

To put the fire out.

I want to fill my calling

And to give the best in me

To guard my every neighbor

And protect his property.

And if, according to my fate,

I am to lose my life,

Please bless with your protecting

My children and my wife.

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." ~ Winnie the Pooh