LolitaFajita
 At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you around all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. copy and paste on your profile HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? you belong with me-taylor swift well, so am i feeling heartbroken or something...? * caught like a fly-falling in reverse this is going to be a good day WHATS YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE? rockstar-nickleback i am so a rock star * love isnt always fair-black veil brides that is so true, love screws everybody over at some point in your life WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU? abigail-motionless in white love this song!!! love the band! so, i guess my family thinks im a witch, i am fine with that, i actually learned to accept that long ago * crazy bitch-buckcherry that is just wonderful, but i have already come to terms with the fact that my family thinks im a witch and a bitch, they have told me to my face that i am WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU? your gonna go far kid-the offspring so far all these songs i am pretty good with * the reckless and the brave-all time low that is pretty good, people think im brave...but also reckless WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? ritual-black veil brides love this band so much!!!!!! love all of their songs!!!!! i might see them in concert this january!!!!!! just have to convince my mother! i think i am ok with this song playing on my b-day, it meaningful and stuff * recreant-chelsea grin well, isnt that wonderful, that is going to play on my birthday, great does everybody think i am some sort of traitor...? WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? dani california-red hot chili peppers cant really think of a comment for this... * we stick these wounds-black veil brides this isnt the wrost funeral song that could ever play, it's meaningful which is what i would like to be played at my funeral WHAT DO I THINK WHEN I GET UP IN THE MORNING? save me-shinedown so this song is about having someone save me from ODing, that is a good sign if someone is willing to save me * get crunk-brokeNCYDE no comment, cant really think of anything, cause really all the song talks about is getting crunk and shit, so i guess i think about getting crunk WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING? what you want-evanescence this is an ok song to dance to at like a club, but not at a wedding * bitch came back-theory of a deadman wonderful, so am i going to marry some douche and then we divorce, but then he starts stalking me... creepy WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER? ohioisonfire-of mice and men good song, look it up, cant really find a meaning, so no comment "this is what you get when you fuck with the classic round" * animal i have become no comment FAVORITE PLACE? so what-p!nk i think this is good, possibly * thanks for nothing-the downtown fiction still no comment FAVORITE SAYING? hot-avril lavigne i am so hot * escape(pina colada song)-rupert holmes chillax bro, that's what this song is telling me... HOW WILL I DIE? dj-skip the foreplay so am i going to die at the hands of a dj or something??* blame it-of mice and men(cover) so is this telling me im going to be an alcoholic or some thing and then die from alcohol poisoning..? 1. i like crime shows an other tv 2. n.c.i.s, criminal minds, bones, covert affairs, pretty little liars, once upon a time, revenge, american dad, dinners drive ins and dives, that's all i can think of right now some of my favorite songs are The Way I Talk, At The End Of The Road, Stressed Out, Monster(by skillet), my demons, on my own, break your little heart, drinkin' bone "I'm one of the freaks, the faggots, the geeks, the savages, the rogues, the rebels, the dissident devils, the artists, the martyrs and all the fire starters. break free from this hell, stand up and rebel. be proud and be different speak loud and admit it, look hot and dangerous be strong when you get dissed. DON'T EVER FORGET HATERS MAKE US FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!! Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile i did cry and i almost never cry. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%(its a line break ohhhh scary) Things guys should know when dealing with girls. 1. Don't tell us we're sexy, tell us we're beautiful 2. When we look at your lips, kiss us already 3. When we say something about Ben Barnes, Robert Pattionson or Dimitri just smile and nod. 4. If your girlfriend blames being moody on PMS, she's upset with you and hopes you'll figure it out on your own. 5. As much as you might use it around your friends... never say boobies around girls. 6. That said, never say "Oh boobies!" in front of us. 7. We don't give a damn about how hot a girl in your math class is, if you talk about her in front of us... she might have a broken nose in math tomorrow. 8. Never say "Jockstrap" in front of us. 9. When we ignore you, but we're smiling, we think you're the best person on earth. 10. When we blush for no reason... its cause your in the room. 11. Don't try to understand PMS... unless you exprience it... you won't understand it. Trust me. 12. Kiss us in the rain 13. Kiss our nose 14. When we say we're okay, we're not. 15. When we seem flushed and annoyed about something. Ask what it is. 16. When you are out and she says she wants something little like a necklace from Claire's ... buy it for her later and give it to her the next time you see her. 17. When we say that we miss you, nobody on earth misses you more 18. Say sorry even if you didn't do anything 19. Don't say we deserve better... we choose you. Boredom Busters 1. Try not to think about penguins. 2. Make prank calls 3. Look up a really hot celeb on the web and drool over them(andy biersack) 4.Try to find something for your BFF's next birthday. 5. Attempt knitting. 6. Write a list of boredom busters. 7. Listen to Bugy Malone's "My name is Talluah" 8. Look up Norman Bates 9. Email grandma 10. Update your blog. 11. Think how Dimka probably will be saved in Spirit Bound and feel happy. 12. Eat 6 spoons of sugar and get hyper... you will find something to do... trust me. 13. Think of something funny your BFF said the other day. 14. Think about how cringy the fashion sense was in 1960 15. Drool over ricky horror 16. Get Prince Caspian from your video store and spend 2:27:22 hours drooling over Ben Barnes. 17. Think about that guy in your math class who makes it hard to breathe right. 18. Try to imatate the bitch in your english class. 19. Try to immate Talluah 20. Write your aduiobigriphay about yourself 21. Write an embarrassing bio about your BFF 22. Compare you and your BFF to Lisa and Rose. 23. Read the lust charm sence in Vampire Academy. 24. Stare at someone in your house. 25. Stare at your cat. 26. Change clothes. 27. Take a shower. 28. Wonder if I was trying to tell you something in the "Take a shower" idea. 29. Give your pet an interesting new haircut 30. Drop your cat from a high window, see if they land on all fours. 31. Let your dog chase after a car 32. Let him catch it LOL THIS IS SO ME: Pick your birth month.. January I killed Pick the day you were born on... 1 A banana Pick the color of the shirt you wearing... White Because a hoe stole my taco. I ROBBED THE KOOL-AID MAN CUZ I'M GANGSTA MY HOME SKILLET AND BISCUTZ! If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. IF YOU HATE PRACHEL, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE! If you are in love with fictional characters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you hope with all your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief is true, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have dreams where you are taken to Camp Half-Blood and you are claimed, copy and paste this onto your profile! (Poseidon!!!) If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile. If you get way too excited about certain books/movies/TV show episodes coming out, copy this onto your profile. If you willingly refer to yourself as a nerd, dork, or loser; copy this into your profile. If you are guilty of sometimes using a British accent, even if you're not British, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this onto your profile If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace and Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. i tripped over the line on a basket ball court... If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think all the good ones are either married, gay, or fictional creatures, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you were ever reading a fanfic and had to do something and had to leave and when you came back you realize you forgot the stories name and can’t find it because the content was really good, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have a million and one notebooks, and still need more for your imagination and creativity, copy this into your profile. If you spend lots of time talking to yourself and reciting lines from your fave characters, copy this into your profile. If you love irritating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! 95% of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5% that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!" (love this sentence!) If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever walked into a glass door thinking it was open, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile! Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile. If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever copy and paste something onto your profile, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile! Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone! Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile this in your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile! If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile! Skittles tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. 95% of America would go nuts if the JoBro’s were about to jump off a building. 4% of America would be screaming, “Jump! Jump! Jump!” If you are the 1% that would climb up the building and push them off, copy&paste to profile! Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Celyna, ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat, Sanoon, Lord Cargyle, Silverlycan, FamilyRose, Kirallie, Missy789, HunterWildRocks, Ms Fantasy Freak Lolololololol. djrocks, Mizzbipolar If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile. If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile. If you think Justin Bieber is a girl trapped in a guy's body (or possibly the other way around), PLEASE do me a favor and copy & paste this into your profile If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile. If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile. If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile. If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would read ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap! YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. You love jeans. Dogs are better than cats. It's hilarious when people get hurt. You've played with/against boys on a team. Shopping is torture. Sad movies suck. You own/ed an X-Box. Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. \ At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. ] You watch sports on TV. (i love yelling at the players, and telling them what to do) Gory movies are cool You go to your dad for advice. You own like a trillion baseball caps. You like going to high school football games. (all the time since before i could walk) You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. Baggy pants are cool to wear. It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. You love to go crazy and not care what people think Sports are fun. (in my soccer games i almost always get called once for being to aggressive) Talk with food in your mouth. Sleep with your socks on at night (it keeps me extra warm) total-19 YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. You love to shop. You wear eyeliner. You wear the color pink Go to your mom for advice You consider cheerleading a sport. (no way hoes) You hate wearing the color black. (love it) You like hanging out at the mall. (Especially in the music store, DVD store, and books store!) You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. You like wearing jewelry. (sometimes) (earrings and my key necklace, and my eyebrow piercing) Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. (gross) Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. You don't like the movie Star Wars. You were in gymnastics/dance. It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (Well sorta. But just the shower part. I'm obsessed with water!) You smile a lot more than you should. (People say I'm creepy and weird and crazy and psychotic etc...but that's the way it is! :DDDDDDD) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.( lots of sneakers) You care about what you look like. You like wearing dresses when you can. You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. You love the movies. Used to play with dolls as little kid.(made my lil bro do it with me) Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. Like being the star of every thing Total:11 PREP You own a cell phone. You own something from abercrombie(do hammy downs count, if so yes) You own something from pacsun you own something from Hollister(hammy downs) You own something from American Eagle(hammy downs) You love/like going to the mall. You own an iPod/MP3 player. (why wouldnt i, music is my life) You love Starbucks. You have been called a brat. You hate buying things that are on sale You have more than one house Total : 1 GOTHIC Black is one of your favorite colors. You have thought about death. (who doesn't????) You wear chains. You like heavy metal. You've shopped at Hot Topic. (love that store) You have worn black lipstick. Your hair was/is dark. You dislike preps. You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic TOTAL-6 PUNK You can skateboard. You've worn plaid. You like Converse. You hate MTV. (Sorta) You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. You dislike pink. You hate/dislike preps. You wear/wore skateboarding shoes. Total :7 geek You love the computer. You like Harry Potter You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts You get straight A's. You love/like reading. You were/are in band (i played the flute... i can play journey on the flute) You don't care what you look like. You have a curfew. You always do your homework. (Don't make me laugh!) You never miss school unless you're sick (sad but true...unless it's really an emergency) total-6 1/2 (shhhh, im an in the closet nerd) EMO You cut yourself over depression You have been depressed. You have black rimmed glasses You like the band Evanescence You cry easily. You like emo music. You hate being called emo. You keep/have kept a journal/diary. You have written a sad poem You think emo chicks/Guys are hot total-5 GHETTO/GANGSTA You like rap. You are/was in a gang. You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants. You swear once in a while or alot You have freestyled. You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out. You can break dance Total : 2 1/2 HARDCORE/SCENE You love/loved the Ninja Turtles You never walk anywhere You like loud music You wear slip-on shoes. You wear/wore Vans. You like the band panic! at the disco (Hell yes!) You wear band t-shirts. People have called you a freak and meant it. You love to "hardcore" dance Your hair has been died more than 1 color Total: 7 ATHLETIC You watch/watched the Superbowl. (i also yell at the players) You own track shoes or other sports related shoes. You collect your jerseys. you have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards You have posters or plaques of famous athletes. your garage consists of sports equipment You belong/belonged to a school team. You are going/did go to a sports summer camp You have a specific number Total :0 You are a... CHILD OF ZEUS You like being in charge. 4/10 - not too surprising CHILD OF POSEIDON You feel at home in the water. 5/10 - there's a shocker CHILD OF HADES You’re not that much of a people person. 10/10 - I'm just antisocial CHILD OF DEMETER You own a garden. 5/10 - ok? CHILD OF ARES You often start fights. 8/10 - awkward CHILD OF ATHENA You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. 3/10 - not as many as I thought CHILD OF APOLLO You’re very creative and artistic. 4/10 - well then... i wasn't expecting that HUNTER OF ARTEMIS You dislike boys in general. 10/10 - I knew that! I am already kinda in the Hunt.. CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS You have a way with tools. 2/10 - why should I be afraid of fire? CHILD OF APHRODITE Every guy/girl swoons for you. 6/10 - 0.o omg... CHILD OF HERMES You like pickpocketing your friends. 10/10 - awkward a bit... though not as awkward as Ares . . . CHILD OF DIONYSUS You’re the life of the party 0/10 - I am not surprised 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8.Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? (Laugh; it's funny.) And just because I'm me...we get the dirty jokes Q: What begins with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? I dare you to scream it. You won't? I'll do it... Q: What begins with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? Try screaming this one. Did you know that roughly 90 percent of the pictures of the internet are of naked women? Now you know. Are you disgusted? You should be. Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons? Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor? Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(The shoplifter special?) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".(And that would be how??) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".(But, it's just a suggestion). On Nonna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".(And you thought...that it might be cold?) On packaging for a K-Mart iron:"Do not iron clothes on body".(But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".(And...I'm taking this because??) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".(As opposed to...what? inter-dimensional use?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nut.(Talk about a news flash!) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nut"(Gee, who would have imagined?) I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".(Aw, thanks for ruining the world wide dream of flying...) On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with the tourists. Cocktail lounge in Norway: At a Budapest zoo: Doctors office, Rome: Hotel, Acapulco: Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: Car rental brochure, Tokyo: In a Nairobi restaurant: On an Athi River highway: On a poster at Kencom: In a City restaurant: One of the Mathare buildings: A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: In a Pumwani maternity ward: In a cemetery Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: In a Tokyo bar: In a Bangkok temple: Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand: Hotel brochure, Italy: Hotel lobby, Bucharest: Hotel elevator, Paris: Hotel, Yugoslavia: Hotel, Japan: In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: Hotel catering to skiers, Austria: Taken from a menu, Poland: Supermarket, Hong Kong: From the "Soviet Weekly": In an East African newspaper: Hotel, Vienna: A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: Hotel, Zurich: An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: A laundry in Rome: Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: In a Swiss mountain inn: Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!" On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push." At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait! In a barbershop: "If you're not becoming to her, you should be coming to us". Signs seen in Great Britain. Spotted in a toilet of a London office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) Metaphorses be with you! (Say it out loud) Be sure to proofread, because you might some words out. Girl Comebacks! Guy: Where have you been all my life? Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Guy: Is this seat empty? Guy: Your place or mine? Guy: So, what do you do for a living? Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign? Guy: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Guy: Your body is like a temple. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you. Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Guy: Your eyes they're amazing. Guy: Can I buy you a drink Guy: How did you get so beautiful Guy: Your face must turn a few heads Guy: Go on dont be shy. Ask me out Guy: I think i could make you very happy Guy: What would you say if i asked you to marry me? Guy: Can i have your name Guy: Want to see a movie Guy: i am gods gift to women If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "girl comebacks" 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. A true boyfriend When she walks away from you mad When she stares at your mouth When she pushes you or hits you When she starts cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignores you When she pulls away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lays her head on your shoulder When she steals your favorite hat When she teases you When she doesn't answer for a long time When she looks at you with doubt When she says that she likes you When she grabs at your hands When she bumps into you When she tells you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she reposts this bulletin Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her Call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you Tease her and let her tease you back Stay up all night with her when she's sick Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid Give her the world Let her wear your clothes When she's bored and sad, hang out with her Let her know she's important Kiss her in the pouring rain When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend." (Ironic, seeing as I don't have a boyfriend...) 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese, there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Our parents and our grandma immigrated from China. So, it's either my mum or dad or me or my brother or my grandma. I'm not sure but I don't think there are any Chinese in my family. Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler? What happens if you put 'this side up' facing down while popping microwave popcorn? It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. (My grandad said that too!) There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... (mmmmmm... pie...) When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them. Do it... DO IT! Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are? One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil... Wait, no, It's Edward Cullen painted Silver... Still as bad... Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. She who laughs last laughs the Laughiest. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. A synonym is a word you use when you don't know how to spell the other one. Change is inevitable except from a vending machine. In two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. The grass is always greener on t.v. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first. If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere. If you have pulled an Iggy: You have run into an inanimate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc. If You have pulled a Nudge: You have chattered endlessly without even realizing it. If you have pulled a Gazzy: You know who you are... If You have pulled an Angel: You have said what a person was about to say, almost like you read their mind... i have totally pulled an Iggy once i walked into the small side of a door... If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, MysticalPearl,MaxWing,sk8rchickmax,Blackwingsrainbowtips, MyNameIsCAL, Heart of Diamond, mizzbipolar If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If you think Max and Fang should get together now copy and paste this into your profile. If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile! If you're absoloutely, uncrontollably in love with Fang, copy this into your profile If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character to steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this in your profile If James Patterson needs to get it all together, copy and paste this into your profile If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile. If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile. If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in under two hours, copy this into your profile. 90% of teens today would die if MySpace/Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If you are against racism, copy this onto your profile. THE ONLY RACE IS HUMANITY! If you LOVE reading, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want this dang war to end, copy and paste it into your profile. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a silent room over something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile. If you laugh secretly at some people or keep on comparing them with characters because they resemble some characters, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. (once in Spanish lol) If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle (or yell at) some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. (Jace in the mortal insterments when he yelled at Clary in City of Glass) If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews, add this to your profile. If you read all the Maximum Ride books in under 5 hours, copy this into your profile. If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. (It sucked) If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization. If you hate pasting stuff, suck it up and paste this anyway! If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile. If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile. If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile. If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think all the good ones are either married, gay, or fictional creatures, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you were ever reading a fanfic and had to do something and had to leave and when you came back you realize you forgot the stories name and can’t find it because the content was really good, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have a million and one notebooks, and still need more for your imagination and creativity, copy this into your profile. If you spend lots of time talking to yourself and reciting lines from your fave characters, copy this into your profile. If you love irritating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! (take no offense, miley. or fans. ;D) 95% of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5% that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!" (love this sentence!) If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever walked into a glass door thinking it was open, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile! Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile. If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever copy and paste something onto your profile, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile! Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone! Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile this in your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile! If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile! Skittles tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. 95% of America would go nuts if the JoBro’s were about to jump off a building. 4% of America would be screaming, “Jump! Jump! Jump!” If you are the 1% that would climb up the building and push them off, copy&paste to profile! Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Celyna, ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat, Sanoon, Lord Cargyle, Silverlycan, FamilyRose, Kirallie, Missy789, HunterWildRocks, Ms Fantasy Freak Lolololololol. djrocks , Mizzbipolar If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile. If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile. If you think Justin Bieber is a girl trapped in a guy's body (or possibly the other way around), PLEASE do me a favor and copy & paste this into your profile If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile. If you think Fang is a stud, put this on your profile. If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile Write 11 Maximum Ride characters in whatever order than follow the instructons: 1. max 2. fang 3. iggy 4.gazzy 5. nudge 6. angle 7. jeb 8. ella 9. dylan 10. maya 11. Dr. M 1) have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? angle and dr. m, no i cant recall that i have 2) do you think four is hot? how hot? gazzy, kind of young for me 3) what would happen if eleven got eight pregnant? dr. m to ella, so messed up, mother to daughter...creppy 4)do you recall any fics about nine? dylan, yeah there are some 5) would two and six make a good couple? fang and angle, no they have more of a father daughter relationship 6) five/nine or five/ten? nudge/dylan or nudge/maya i think ill go with nudge/dylan they could possible be cute together 7) what would happen if seven walked in one one and two in an awkward situation? jeb walked in on Max and Fang, odd cause max is jeb's daughter... 8) make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic. iggy/maya, we all know iggy sees max as a sister, but how does he see maya max's clone? 9) is there any such thing as a one/eight fluff? max/ella, no that would be total incest 10) suggest a title for a seven/ten hurt/comfort fic. jeb and maya. my daughter's clone 11) what kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to go out with one? gazzy and max, that is not something i would use...ever. 12) does anyone on your friends list read three slash? iggy, probably 13) does anyone on your friends list write or draw eleven? dr. m i dont think so 14) would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five? fang/gazzy/nudge no, never 15) what might ten scream in a moment of great passion? maya, "ohhh fang" but its not fang, it just some guy 16) if you wrote a song fic about eight what song would you choose? ella, "hot" by avril lavigne 17) if you wrote a one/six/ten fic what would the warning be? max/angle/maya warning swearing 18) what would be a good pickup line for ten to use on two? maya on fang, "i can be your new Max" 20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds". 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy". 8 Dont use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work. 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom. 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!" 19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy. 37 Things to do in an Elevator In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (how is my child supposed to get over her headache?) 2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts (i had no idea) 3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping ( how exactly would that work?) 4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire (and you thought...?) 5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (really i had no idea) 6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (but it's my special tornado protecting blanket) 7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts 8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (maybe somebody should have told chucky that) 9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (but im already dead... how does that work?) 10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping 11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap (and that would be??) 12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness (I’m taking this because…..) 13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (wow.) 14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use (Wonder what that means.) 15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. Reasons why girls are the best 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us: 1. Being different is okay. 2. Even the little things can help save the world. 3. Red-heads are evil!! 4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there. 5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world. 6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old. 7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy. 8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does notmake you emo; it makes you Fang-like. 9. French is the universal language. 10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement. 11. Count your blessings. 12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations. 13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices. 14. Fang has the power to sum up your life story in nine words. 15. Even a kick-ass, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes. 16. Never get hooked on Valium. 17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!! 18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars. 19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie. 20. Kids are better than adults. 21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress. 22. The best cooks are blind pyros. 23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom. 24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done. 25. School really is an evil place. 26. Teachers really are out to get you. 27. Remember to flap. 28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders. 29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' asses!! 30. The order of power: God, Jesus, Chuck Norris, Max, Fang, Angel, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Total, humans, animals. Brigid, Sam and Lissa don't make the list. Here's some info and differences between me and you: You say Pink, I say Black. You say Pop, I say Rock. You say Justin Bieber(gag), I say andy biersack(hells yea bitches). You say Shakira, I say Paramore. You say edward, I say tobias/four. You say Valentine's day, I say Halloween. You say Claires, I say Hot Topic. You say piano I say guitar. You say drawing, I say writing. You Say The Hills, I say Ghost Whisperer. You say I'm a freak, I say, why thank you. Paste this on your page if (O) you love music You say Pink- I Say Black You Say Zac Efron-I Say Ashley Purdy! You Say Pop-I Say Rock You Say I'm Weird-I Say I'm Different You Say Justin Bieber-I Say What the Hell!? Andy Biersack all the way BITCH!!!! You Say Ashley Purdy is a girl-I say Justin Bieber is a girl too You Say Justin has over 10,000 fans-I say Ashley has over 200,000 Purdy girls You Say Justin is cute-I say Ashley is Purdy sexy PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE |
Prank Wars by im f-nicking awesomer than you reviews
Kid and me by Misslittlereaper reviews
Catch and Release by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Island Time by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Arranged by JAMZD reviews
Poor Haruhi by ramblingrobin reviews
A Shadow Queen Chosen? by hdfd reviews
Eternity by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Broken by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Living by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Save Me From Myself by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Adjusting by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Change by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Love's Lesson by NoReins94 reviews
Life with Max and Fang by Fallen Ark Angel reviews
Taken by Fallen Ark Angel reviews