Dear Readers,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose in your car and I saw you drive over my boyfriend. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand i get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your photo with a mustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Go milk a cow,

TheGlitterMuffin

(PS: This is a joke and read my stories please =D)