HIYA
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME (unless you are sherlock) SO I WILL GIVE YOU INFO

Nicknames:
Val
Lazy-butt
Evil One
Weirdo
Pasta
Under no condition is anyone EVER allowed to call me pasta. I will hunt you down and use your blood as ink.

My main fandoms:

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Ah

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming,
I can hear them say

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man,
Well, it surely means that I don't know

On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune,
But I hear the voices say

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more no!

Carry on,
You will always remember
Carry on,
Nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry,
Don't you cry no more,

No more!

1. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

2. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

3. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

4. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

5. When you are confused, I will use little words.

6. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

7. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

If you rearrange the following words, you'll find that the same letters spell the given definition. Someone out there either has too much

spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

Dormitory: Dirty room

Astronomer: Moon starer

George Bush: He bugs Gore

The eyes: They see

Slot machine: Cash lost in me

Desperation: A rope ends it

Presbyterian: Best in prayer

Election results: Lies! Let's recount

Snooze alarm: Alas! no more z's

Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one

Mother in law: Woman Hitler

The Morse code: Here come dots

A decimal point: I'm a dot in place

went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.

I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.

Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.

Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,

the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,

the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom. . . I wish you'd get here soon.

How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.

I hear the medic say I'll die in a short time.

I just want to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.

It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.

The only difference is, he drank and I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.

I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.

I'm lying here dying, and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave,

Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive,

If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.

Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom, before I say goodbye.

I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?

TO ALL YOU DRINKERS OUT THERE DON'T DRIVE AFTER DRINKING. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE SURE YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW THE CHEWY TASTE OF YOUR OWN INTESTINES.

THINGS TO DO AT TARGET:

1) Scream into the intercom, "SSSPPPPAAAARRRTTTAAAA!!"

2) Hide in the circular clothes racks and when someone walks by, whisper, "Buy me... Take me with you..."

3) Pretend to be a ninja.

4) While you're pretending to be a ninja, roll across the floor of the lobby while humming Mission: Impossible.

5) Get a friend and have them push you around in a cart. After you get enough speed have them let you go so you're heading straight down one of the aisles, and then scream "WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" and proceed to make exploding noises.

6) Go into a random aisle and knock all of the items onto the floor. If someone finds you while you're doing that, give them and eye twitch, say "It's finally clean!" and run away screaming.

7) Call Walmart over and over for three hours, each time adopting a new accent, and see if they notice it's the same number.

8) Climb one of the shelves (not a tall one, unless it's bolted to the ground, DO NOT SUE ME IF YOU GET HURT!) and throw tennis balls at random people when they walk by, and if they look in your direction yell "Crap! MISSION FAILED! ABORT!"

9) Take a permanent marker and on all of the Barbie dolls boxes draw mustaches in front of the faces.

10) Do exactly the same with Hannah Montana dolls.

11) Go into the lingerie aisle (if you're a girl) or the condom aisle (either boy or girl) and fill up a whole cart with them, then attempt to check out. If they let you buy them but give you weird looks, mutter incoherently, throw one of the items at them, and then leave the store talking a bit too loud about people judging everybody these days.

12) Go into the G.I. Joe aisle, and if no one is there, put a tape recorder behind one of them that has something like the following on it: "Hey! Hey you! Come over here. That's right, now..." and then improvise, and play this tape whenever a little kid walks up. (Just don't get caught, believe me, it doesn't end well especially when the parents find you harrassing their kid. :P)

13) When someone announces something over the intercom, assume the fetal position and scream, "ITS THE VOICES AGAIN!"

14) Use one of the security cameras as a mirror and pick your nose.

15) Set all of the alarm clocks in the House wares aisle to go off every five minutes.

16) Jam a Star Wars lightsaber (saver?) into the security system (idk what they're called) things at the doors and stand there staring at it while it beeps. When someone comes over to see what's wrong tilt your head with one hand on your chin and say, "Well how did that get there?"

17) In the bike aisle take one of them out and ride it around the store, chasing random people.

18) Move a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign to a place with carpet.

19) Make a trail of red food coloring to the bathrooms.

20) If a clerk asks to help you say hysterically, "Why won't you people leave me alone!?"

22) In the most crowded part of the store keep glancing anxiously at the ceiling/lights and see if others start staring at them too.

24) Walk up to random people and tell a different Chuck Norris joke every time.

25) Walk up to a random person and hug them, saying, "I missed you! How's that pet (insert most random animal here) of yours?" really loudly. When you stop hugging them see if they'll play along if they think they've forgotten you. (It's really funny when that happens)

you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile and write your name: MysticalPearl, MaxWing,sk8rchickmax,BlackwingRainbowtips. MyNameIsCAL, FireBreathingCowGirlzWithWingz,

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, MysticalPearl,MaxWing,sk8rchickmax,Blackwingsrainbowtips, MyNameIsCAL, FireBreathingCowGirlzWithWingz,WinterJaguar

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, flyaway111, MyNameIsCAL, FireBreathingCowGirlzWithWings,WinterJaguar,

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you think Max and Fang should get together now copy and paste this into your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you're absoloutely, uncrontollably in love with Fang, copy this into your profile

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character to steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this in your profile

If James Patterson needs to get it all together, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in under two hours, copy this into your profile.

If you read all the Maximum Ride books in under 5 hours, copy this into your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have the release date of MR3, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports marked on your calendar, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.

If you hate pasting stuff, suck it up and paste this anyway!

If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile.

If you think Fang is a stud, put this on your profile.

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang post this in your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.
2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.
3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.
4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.
5. You claim you have wings.
6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.
7. You daydream about meeting the flock.
8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.
9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.
10. You study about birds.
11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.
12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.
13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.
14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.(When I was little I met a boy that looked like Fang, smiled like Fang and talked like Fang. I didn't read MR and so I got peeved at him for being silent and brooding and cute and staring. And so I threatened him. He seemed amused.)
15. You are counting down the days for the next book. (Which is coming out, ironically, in 2012.)
16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.
17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.
18. You hate dog crates.
19. You think scientists are evil.
20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.
21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.
22. You've found a new respect for blind people.
23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.
24. You say 'U and A' a lot.
25. You think you have a Voice like Max.
26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.
27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.
28. You know what 'Fax' is.
29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.
30. You claim to have brain attacks.
31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.
32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.
33. You daydream of flying.
34. You love chocolate chip cookies.
35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.
36. If you want to become a writer because of MR
37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.
38. If you love Fan-fiction.
39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.
40. You want a talking dog.

Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us:
1. Being different is okay.
2. Even the little things can help save the world.
3. Red-heads are evil!!
4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there.
5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world.
6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old.
7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy.
8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does not make you emo; it makes you Fang-like.
9. French is the universal language.
10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement.
11. Count your blessings.
12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations.
13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices.
14. Fang has the power to sum up your life story in nine words.
15. Even a kick-ass, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes.
16. Never get hooked on Valium.
17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!!
18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars.
19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie.
20. Kids are better than adults.
21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress.
22. The best cooks are blind pyros.
23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom.
24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done.
25. School really is an evil place.
26. Teachers really are out to get you.
27. Remember to flap.
28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders.
29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!!
30. The order of power: God, Jesus, Chuck Norris, Max, Fang, Angel, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Total, humans, animals. Brigid, Sam and Lissa don’t make the list.

CHILD OF ZEUS

You like being in charge.

You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.

You were voted Class President.

You do what’s best for everyone.

You think you have what it takes to run for President.

You think every problem has a solution.

You love showing off.

You like plane rides

You are hydrophobiac

1/10

CHILD OF POSEIDON

You feel at home in the water.

Your favourite vacation place is at the beach.

You enjoy snorkelling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.

You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.

You visit the local pool on a regular basis.

You swim professionally.

You hate seafood.

You never get seasick.

You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.

You are acrophobiac

8/10

CHILD OF HADES

You’re not that much of a people person.

You like staying in the dark and writing.

You experience bad moods on a regular basis.

You like listening to loud, angry music.

You spend most of your time alone.

You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.

You like to keep to yourself.

All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be)

You write in diary/journal/blog.

You feel most active at night.

7/10

CHILD OF DEMETER

You own a garden.

You like the great outdoors.

You have a green thumb.

You’re an environmentalist.

You have a special connection with animals.

You’re a vegetarian.

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.

You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.

You love going to flower shops.

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.

5/10

CHILD OF ARES

You often start fights.

You’re a very aggressive type of person.

You like watching wrestling.

You’re competitive.

You like reading about war.

You don’t take crap from anybody.

You have anger management.

You never back away from a fight.

Everyone does what you say.

You don’t always think before you do something.

6/10

CHILD OF ATHENA

You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge

You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regularbasis.

Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.

You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.

You’re the valedictorian in your class.

You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card.

You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.

You think it would be better if you were the President.

You have a huge shelf of books at home.

You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful

4/10

CHILD OF APOLLO

You’re very creative and artistic.

You like listening to all kinds of music in general.

You always feel sunny and optimistic.

You are talented at drawing.

You like writing poetry.

You can play at least 3 musical instruments.

You like going to art museums.

You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.

You have straight A's in Art on your report card.

Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.

3/10

HUNTER OF ARTEMIS

You dislike boys in general.

A deer is one of your favorite animals

You can shoot targets

You like silver.

You like the moon better than the sun

Zoe Nightshade is awesome

You love wild animals

You spend most of your time outdoors.

You love to move around the place

Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters

7/10

CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS

You have a way with tools.

You build awesome things during your free time.

You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.

Metalworking is your forte.

You have your own toolbox.

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.

You’re a techie.

You often have carpentry projects.

You dream of being a carpenter.

You aren’t afraid of fire.

4/10

CHILD OF APHRODITE

Every guy/girl swoons for you.

You like putting on makeup.

You naturally smell good.

You never experience a bad hair day.
1/4