softporcupine
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Joined 07-06-07, id: 1318644, Profile Updated: 11-06-08

Hey everyone, my name is softporcupine because I am just weird like that. So, yeah, I have never really posted, or let others see my stuff, so this is a new experience for me. Those of you who hate how JK Rowling left plot holes big enough to stuff an entire herd of elephants into, I feel for you. Also, those of you who think Rowling got the pairing right, I pity you becuase you have as much understanding of characters as Rowling herself. Anyways, onto bigger and badder things. Janet Evanovich namely. I am of the opinion that book thirteen could have been sooo... much better. There was barely any Steph and Ranger together. And she was with Joe! Talk about disgusting, she needs to end things with him ASAP. And on the subject of Ranger- who cares if he has a no relationship policy! He is so fen sexy that she should just jump him and made some Batman babies.

So, as you might eb able to tell, am not simply a fan of the books i read, I am obsessed with them. It's liek I am some hippy on the good juice while I am reading my books since I am in a whole other world.

And on my final note- all of you who have seen Pirates AWE, are you as dissappointed as me that Elizabeth married the whelp! She so should be with Jack- who cares if he is older than her. He and she are from the same cloth, whereas dear William had to be shoved into piracy. Elizabeth is a pirate. Jack is a pirate. Will is simply a merchant sailor who was forced into piracy.

So there you go, my opinion on everything.

wait, wait, wait! Please don't navigate away yet. One last thing: the best coupling in the Tamora Pierce books is Rosto and Beka, and yet there is barely any. People this is a crime- please fix it.

Oh, and one other other thing: here are the pairings I approve of:

Harry Potter series: Hermione/Draco, Hermione/Snape, Hermione/Fred, Hermione/George, Hermione/Fred/George, Hermione/Harry, with an occasional Fred/George thrown into the mix

Stephanie Plum series: Stephanie/Ranger

Tamora Pierce: Daine/Numair, Rosto/Beka, Kel/Neal, Alanna/George, Tris/Briar

all my love,

the softporcupine

PS- I believe and hold firm to many things.

The Rules of Man

#1 abortion is murder

#2 abortion is acceptable in the case of the woman would die having her child, or in the case of rape, or also in the case that she is trully unfit-a claim made by others, not herself- to so much as give birth

#3 children can always be adopted, but please don't murder your child unless necessary- they're just babies, what did they do to you?

#4 Northern Viginia should split from the rest of Virginia because all our money goes to Richmond and none returns to us even though N. Virginians make up the majority of Virginia's tax dollars

#5 live your life knoing that someday someone will look back at it. Live your live knowing one day someone will ask. Live your life so you are not embaressed when they do.

#6 every soldier who fights for the US should be respected no matter what. It's not their fault they are ordered to go off and fight away from their loved ones. They go to protect every simgle American. Some even go to fight for citizens of other countries as well. They fight and die for us, they deserve to be given our respect.

#7 no one should be forced into religion. No one should be forced to go to mass, or a church service, or any religious gathering; by forcing people you just make them more reluctant to believe, so where is the point.

#8 everyone should respect the others' religion. Unless their religion tells them to kill the world. If this is the case then it is not a religion, it is a cult and is not to be respected in any way.

#9 respect your fellow man no matter what he has said/ done to you. If you retaliate to what he says, you are put on his level. If you act back to what they have done to you, you are simply putting yourself in their hands.

#10 fight for liberty for all persons. I don't care how, just make a stand and fight for what you and everyone deserves- freedom to say/do what you want so long as it does not hurt another

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Even when you cant see him GOD is there! if you belive in GOD put this in your profile

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe),QuickCookie, softporcupine

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Cullen, copy this into your profile.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile (I have done this a lot lol).

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you like claymation movies (e.g. Wallace and Gromit, Corpse Bride) copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

Who agrees with me that homophobes are nasty, insensitive people?

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.

READ IN A DARK ROOM AND ALL ALONE!!

chineese kid is seen down the hall
the light flickers on and off.
every time the light flickers on he gets closer
closer and closer until, he's suddenly gone
you hear a slight breathing sound behind you.
you turn around and see a little boy. small and pale blue.
he tilts his head to the side and makes the creepiest noise youve ever heard and probably the last creepiest thing youll ever hear again.
his mouth wide open and the fowl noise pouring out, you panic.
you turn to run.
your legs are like steel.
when you turned ot run there was nothing behind you.
you glance back at the boy to see him still standing there with his mouth open.
you face forward and continue to run when you see a little girl waiting for you.
she opens her mouth and begings to make the same noise.
your ears are ringing uncontrollably. you fall to your knees and cover your ears. darkness is surrounding you until it is nothing except darkness.
the ringing stops and you open your eyes.
your laying in a hospital bed alone.
you look around andfind a mirror. in the mirror you look at yourself. then you look behind you. you see the little boy. staring at you. your ears begin to ring again.
r ur ears ringing ?
look behind you.

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER :

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Make your mother proud, dont smoke pot or stop breathing because Abrocrombie and Fitch tell you its not cool to breath.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

It Could Only Happen to Harry by HoosYourDaddy reviews
After defeating Voldemort in his final year, Harry requires a rare ritual to save his life. Luckily, he has friends who are willing to help him. H/Hr, H/Parv, H/Luna, H/Tonks, H/Fleur. Canon personalities. WARNING: smutty comedy. Not for younger audiences.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 74,572 - Reviews: 471 - Favs: 2,967 - Follows: 2,205 - Updated: 8/3/2018 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G., N. Tonks, Parvati P. - Complete
So Much To Learn by AdhesivePrincess reviews
Elizabeth experiences how difficult being a pirate really is. Harsh reality, incredible adventures and subtle magic combine to give her quite an education. And Elizabeth is not the only one with much to learn. AU, whelp-free, J/E.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 115 - Words: 269,305 - Reviews: 1026 - Favs: 477 - Follows: 447 - Updated: 1/12/2018 - Published: 5/23/2007 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S.
Symbiosis by Brobdingnagian Pseudonym reviews
John had never imagined that he'd ever find himself living with a vampire. But if he had, he'd probably imagine a few more... stone walls and rusted iron chains and less quaint wallpaper and elderly ladies pushing biscuits.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 25,608 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 9/13/2016 - Published: 3/8/2015 - Sherlock H., John W., DI Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson
Yes You Are by elsarenard reviews
Irene Adler is intrigued when she first meets the Baker Street boys, and instead of setting out to seduce Sherlock, decides to do everything in her power to make sure Sherlock and John get together. Johnlock, Slash, some Femslash
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 62,073 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 11/7/2015 - Published: 4/30/2015 - [Sherlock H., John W.] [Irene A., Kate] - Complete
Dreamer by Magda the Magpie reviews
John is wounded in Afghanistan, and not only does he have to deal with his injuries but wih his guilt at not having the terrible nightmares his fellow soldiers suffer from. He soon realizes his dreams are not normal and they always lead him to one man. A man he's dead set on protecting once he gets back to London, even if that means he has to get his hands dirty to do so.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 107,003 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 341 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 8/24/2015 - Published: 4/18/2015 - [John W., Sherlock H.] - Complete
Sacrifices by Kimberly T reviews
Takes place post-series. The war is over, and everyone's doing just fine… Until tragedy strikes, it is revealed that in fact things are far from fine, and people have to make hard choices. Starts with canon relationships, but will slowly evolve to Zutara. Chapter 15: Suspicions and Distractions
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 209,016 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 436 - Updated: 8/7/2015 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Zuko, Katara, Sokka, Aang
New Marauders Hogwarts Year 1 by Cindra reviews
Let the adventure begin for the Next Generation of Hogwarts. Six years have passed it's 2016 the start of First year for the kids. Angst and fun ensue. AU/OOC/HEA story not canon by any means!( Undergoing revision)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 90,009 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 6/28/2015 - Published: 4/24/2007 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] OC
Baby Love by PhoenixBlaze8 reviews
AU. Sirius never died. Lily and James are brought back to life. Someone close to Hermione dies and she now is left with a baby. Who should help her but Harry. hhr this is my first time tell me if it's good
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,291 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 10/4/2009 - Published: 4/6/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G.
to be determined by tricksterslioness reviews
i took Cleon's lead and had raiders burn down Mindelan so that she has to make a political marriage during her second year as a squire A certain pair of green eyed healers want to help Kel.chap 10 up KN btw R&R Send me title ideas.
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,066 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 3/19/2009 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Neal, Kelandry
Once Upon A Time by badgirl-250 reviews
Snape and Hermione get pulled into a book of Fairy Tales and have to act out each and every fairy tale. Snape gets stuck wearing a dress, and Hermione finds herself exposed to her worst enemy. "Absolutely bloody terrific!"
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,149 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by cloneserpents reviews
Spurred on by a perverted ghost, Harry stumbles on a naughty, yet very special book. With the rituals found in this book, Harry gains power and leads his friends in the hunt for Voldemort's Horcruxes. EROTIC COMEDY
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 280,235 - Reviews: 1497 - Favs: 5,078 - Follows: 2,321 - Updated: 12/26/2008 - Published: 3/12/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete