![]() Author has written 3 stories for Skulduggery Pleasant series, and Hunger Games. HIIIII!!!!!! It's your Oracle O.o Anyway well these are the important things you should know about me I LOVE FLETCHYRIES!! Books i like are: Skulduggery pleasant Harry potter Pennies for Hitler Grame Base The Dragonolagy series And other books that i'm to lazy to think ofMy fav colour is...GREEN My favorite words and quotes are: Banana Phalanges You crazy cat/cats dingle dongle jingle jangle yikadeedee yikadeedar lipee tapee to tar I am the sense that makes other sense nonsense (I've copyrighted this so you can't use it OR ILL SEW YOU!!!!) Supercalifragilisticexpealidosious Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Uh i don't know what else to do so yeah! BYE!! I really hope you don't mind flame kitty but you did say to copy and paste this if i thought they where extremely stupid so please don't kill me Copy & Paste this to your profile if you think those are all extremely stupid labels. (your exact words) stupid labels on a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair) On a bag of Fritos:!...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!!...) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Raise your hand if you've tried this Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (When am I supposed to dry my hair then? Definitely not when I'm awake. That's just stupid) Bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?) Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion) Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (PRINTED ON THE BOTTOM OF THE BOX) Do not turn upside down. (A bit late) Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?) Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts and out of the driving seat) Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (I would hope!) Toshiba laptop: Warning: do not microwave. (Microwaved laptop is my favourite food!) Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...) String of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: May contain nuts. (May?) American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...) Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) Child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Does that mean Superman can't really fly? *Breaks down in tears*) Windex: Do not spray in eyes. (Why not? Let's test) Toilet Plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines. (Toilets always get blocked around power lines) Dremel Electric Rotary Tool: This product not intended for use as a dental drill. (It's worth a try...) Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter: Safe to use around pets. (Really? I thought cats only go to the toilet right where you have to walk) Endust Duster: This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. (Yeah, definitely not flammable) Baby Oil: Keep out of reach of children Little Ones Baby Lotion: Keep away from children Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping. (Om nom)(Wait, would that make the ice cream awesome colours?!!!) Wet-Nap: Directions: Tear open packet and use. (How?) Stridex Foaming Face Wash; May contain foam. (Gee, I wonder where they got that idea from) Bic Lighter; Ignite lighter away from face. (Why? Will I melt?) (Possibly, if I ever get plasatic surgery *shudders*) Komatsu Floodlight; This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark. Mattress; Warning: Do not attempt to swallow (Well, that mouth is big enough) Earplugs; These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe (I would never've guessed!) Matches; Caution: Contents may catch fire. (They should stop making flammable matches) Pepper Spray; Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes Rain Gauge; Suitable for outdoor use. (Unless you have a really leaky ceiling) RCA Television Remote Control; Not Dishwasher Safe Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption (Even for Finnick and Percy?) Home Depot Treated Lumber; Do not consume Road Sign Caution: water on road during rain. Camera; This camera will only work when film is inside. Silk Soy Milk; Shake well and buy often Air Conditioner; Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioner out of windows. Slush Puppy Cup; This ice may be cold Nabisco Easy Cheese ;For best results, remove cap. Heinz Ketchup Instructions: Put on food Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists: Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you Blanket from Taiwan: not to be used as protection from a tornado Cardboard windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place. Infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. Bottle of shampoo for dogs Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. Curling Iron: Warning: This product can burn eyes. Hair Dryer; Do not use in shower. Hand-held Massaging Device; Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. A toilet at a public sports facility; Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking. Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists; Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter; Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. Toner cartridge for a laser printer; Do not eat toner. 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow; Not intended for highway use. Can of self-defense pepper spray; May irritate eyes. Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"; Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth. A frisbee Warning: May contain small parts. A toilet bowl cleaning brush; Do not use orally. A birthday card for a 1 year old; Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less. Heated seat cushion; Warning: Do not use on eyes. Electric Cattle Prod; For use on animals only. (My sister counts, right?) Can of air freshener; For use by trained personnel only. Silly Putty; Do not use as ear plugs. Knife sharpening stone; Warning: knives are sharp! (Hopefully) Rat Poison; Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Portable stroller; Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage. Sign at a railroad station; Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (I think people would die of laughter as soon as they get within reading distance) Package of dice; Not for human consumption. Shipment of hammers; May be harmful if swallowed. Manual for an SGI computer; Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers. Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle; Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death. Box of bottle rockets; Do not put in mouth. Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack; Remove plastic before eating. Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean; Do not drive cars in ocean. Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert; Always drive on roads. Not on people. Bus Stop; No stopping or standing. Credit card statement; Payment is due by the due date. Laundromat triple washer; No small children. (But hey, there're so muddy, you can't actually see whether or not they're children) Sign on a lampost; Avoid walking into (My friend was so distracted by this sign that she walked into it) Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11; Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. Can of black pepper; Instructions: usage known. Car Manual; In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors. Espresso Kettle; The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position. T.V. manual; Do not pour liquids into your television set. (It makes Discovery Channel sound weird) Label on a hammer; Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object VCR box; Instructional video on hooking up VCR included. Toilet brush; Do not use for personal hygiene. Black rubber fishing worm; Not for human consumption. Furniture Wipes; Do not use for a baby wipe. Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet; This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision. Lawnmower Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning (Dun dun duh-dun) Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle; Do not open here. (Good idea! Why didn't I think of that...) Bottle of bathtub cleaner; For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. Container of lighter fluid; WARNING: Contents flammable! Box of household nails; CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation! Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it; Direction #1: Remove plastic. Woolite carpet cleaner; Safe for carpets, too! Box of Frosted Cheerio's The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here." Container of salt Warning: High in sodium Hose Nozzle; Do not spray into electrical outlet. girls don't realize these things I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy" I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club (that is the best part of dating is cuddling!) I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy. I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care But most of all I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm Sorry That I cared I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different. Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If you're one of the few girls brave enough to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' |
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