molldoll18
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 08-22-10, id: 2508034, Profile Updated: 08-22-11
Author has written 1 story for White Collar.

I thought this was so frickken funny!

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table: 239.99. Hot Breakfast: 4.20. Two Aspirins: .38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!


One fine day in the middle if the night,

two dead boys got up to fight,

Back to back they faced each other,

drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf police man heard the noise,

and came to arrest the two dead boys

If you don't belive this stories true,

ask the blind man 'cause he saw it too

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

There was once a girl named Ashley who
had a
boyfriend
named
Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school.
The
three most
popular
girls were
Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack
thought of
Ashley as
OKAY,
but
he REALLy
liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also.
Well of
course
she
did, everyone
did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to
steal
Jack away
everytime she had a chance to. One day,
Courtney asked
Jack
if
he wanted
to
go to the movies. Ashley heard
everything...what
movie
theatre
and what
time.

Ashley approached the movies that night
and
followed Jack
and
Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them. she
watched them
get close
to
each
other and
kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
theatre.
Courtney
told jack "Do you want to come to my
place and
skip this
boring
movie?" He
replied "hell yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
window.
Jack and
her
were

messing
around and Ashley watched the whole
thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't
there. For
the next
few
days Ashley
wasn't there. A week later her mother
found her in
her
closet
dead... she
commited suicide because she had loved
Jack so
much.
Next
to
ashley's dead
body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Courtney's house and I will continue to
watch you.
I never
thought you
would
do something like this to me. I really
loved you
jack. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley

Please foward this or Ashley will
haunt
you and try
to kill you because she wants everyone to
know
about
Courtney.

Thank you

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny Me, I will deny you in front of My Father and the glory of Heaven.

If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are Team Edward, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

EVER WONDER:

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words can also hurt me
Stones and sticks break only skin
While words are ghosts that haunt me

Slant and curved the word-sword
Fall to pierce and stick inside me
Bats and bricks may ache through bones,
But words can mortify me

Pain from words has left its scar
On mind and heart that’s tender
Cuts and bruises now have healed
It words that I remember

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? arm my dog bit me
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? sayingsI like and have painted on, posters
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I talk in my sleep and grind my teeth
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Punk Rock!!!!!!!!!!!
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? about 1:30 in the morning.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? stay awake
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? my friend.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
my laptop its got everything!
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5/3
10. DO YOU
GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? No.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? sometimes.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY My friend we got in a fight.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? its called sugar kiss smells so good.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE GENDER? i don't care about hair but i love green eyes.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? I don’t know

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? neither-soda.
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? just cheese
18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? chocolate chip cookies
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? Who has?!

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECIEVED? my friend gave me a book mark with a saying that is amazing.
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? not really,
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? I don't really have one.

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW 4
27. WHAT KIND IS IT? 4 dogs cici, coco, lady maya. (oldest to youngest all hound dogs...god knows how loud they are)
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? I have no exprience in that area.
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? say it to them in person
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 18
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? BLONDES!!!!!!
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? mom.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? my dad
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE UNITED STATES? no
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? I have a really short temper and I would happily give my life for my brother.(but that's not a weakness.)
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? no

37. FIRST JOB babysitting
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Hell yeah!
41.WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? Reading.

40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? No,
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? Being smart.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nope, .

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? books or a gift card to somewhere.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? 1 or 2 no more.
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? I do
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Whatever kind my mum buys
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? its a little messy for my taste.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? ham.
52. ANY BAD HABITS? I daydream a lot.
53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? 101 sing a long songs i can't seem to get rid of it.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes,
56. DO LOOKS MATTER? depends.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? By not thinking about it or listening to music.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? i really don't know tamra's maybe or davida's?

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? teddy bear.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? about 20

62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? nope.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? only constantly.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? They have to be a decent person with a personality.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Tidgey squirtt-(my dad's for me.)
67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER? Muse, Kelly Clarkson, sugarland, BTR,

68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW Merlin, 10 things i hate about you, pysche
69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT SAT SCORE? Wkce was adavanced in both subjects
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? chocolate
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Yes.
72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? I work out? wow...

73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? nope

74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR .80 mom passed 3 cars

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? I don’t care.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? nothing

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? .mnt dew

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Heidi
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME GENDER? Wether they’re alive or dead.

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? A two faced person because niether of them are pretty lol i love that quote.

82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? may
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? I don’t know. I’ve never really paid attention to those kind of things.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde
86. EYE COLOR? blue, but green when I'm crying.
89. FAVORITE FASTFOOD RESTURANT? wendy's
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? no.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Youtube videos count?

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Halloween

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? .clarenet
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? democrat

95. KISSES OR HUGS? I prefer hugs.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR PLAYING THE FIELD? Neither-I like being single.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? An ice-pop.
98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? I'm thirteen.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? No books right now!
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFEI don’t have one!

We Move Lightly in this Mist by idreamedofstardust reviews
In a moment of desperation, college student Julie makes a most unusual pact with Crowley.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,926 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/9/2013 - Published: 11/23/2013 - Crowley
Paranoia, Conspiracies, and Wine reviews
Michaelina Howard, better known as Mimi was a fence. A fence is someone thieves used to indirectly sell the stolen items on the black market. Mimi was part a group of fences, almost like a gang. They would train her until she was good enough to go out on her own. As a perk anyone who would ask around for a fence, people would recommend you first, and that was how she met Mozzie.
White Collar - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/28/2013 - Published: 4/5/2013 - Mozzie