Quitscheente
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Joined 07-12-12, id: 4123775, Profile Updated: 07-14-12

I don't write 'em , I just read'em :)

Just because of its awesomeness:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful and we must protect the santuary of Britney Spears 55-hour-marriage.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn’t changed at all: women are property, Blacks can’t marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That’s why we only have one religion in every country.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.

And another thing I stole shamelessly:

To the Self-Proclaimed, Ever-Reverent Bible "Scholars":

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18.22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25.44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21.7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Leviticus15.19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord. (Leviticus 1.9) The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus11.10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?

7. Leviticus.21.20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus19.27. How should they die?

9. I know from Leviticus 11.6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean. May I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19.19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Leviticus 24.10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20.14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Yours truly,
An Inquiring Supporter

P.S. I look forward to your answers because there are a number of other issues that I'd like to get settled as soon as you've enlightened me on these ... Thanks again

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A doctors touch by capturingme reviews
Kurt has just hit the Broadway scene. His biggest part is about to open in 2 weeks when he comes down with a cough. His friend suggests their doctor, Dr Anderson. Little does Kurt know that its really Blaine, the one night stand from weeks ago.OC included
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 43,215 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 11/27/2017 - Published: 8/21/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
No Regret by Cannibal Inc reviews
"Uzumaki Naruto has resigned from the Shinobi Ranks. His whereabouts are unknown,"- They could only bow their heads in silent resignation. "He finally went," Neji sighed, "to Sasuke," -In which Naruto leaves to find his true home. SasuNaru Eventual Mpreg
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 50,300 - Reviews: 541 - Favs: 2,664 - Follows: 840 - Updated: 5/25/2016 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Go Your Own Way by Zavocado reviews
Kurt Hummel just wants to get through his Junior Year at McKinley in one piece. But when the new guy from Dalton Academy Reform School for Boys takes an alarming interest in him, he's certain he's going to be in for a wild ride. Badboy!Blaine, Klaine, AU
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 30 - Words: 201,863 - Reviews: 4119 - Favs: 5,859 - Follows: 3,892 - Updated: 4/24/2015 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Achilles Heel by Purrugly reviews
Hunter is under the impression he has Sebastian all figured out. Unfortunately for him, Sebastian is more than capable of looking after himself. One night, their little game spins wildly out of control, and Hunter isn't sure he wants to go back. This is the evolution of their complex relationship.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 29,380 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/11/2012 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Hunter C., Sebastian S. - Complete
Legendary Playboy by Kaida Matsuki reviews
Naruto's infamous title attracts many lovers into his arms, captivating every one of his admirers, but what if his title was only that? Just a title. His false title that also lures smoldering onyx eyes into discovering his embarrassing secret - Being a virgin. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,940 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 431 - Follows: 90 - Published: 10/5/2012 - [Sasuke U., Naruto U.] - Complete
In Excess by Quinn Anderson reviews
This fic has been turned into an original novel. Details are posted within. Now available for purchase!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 24 - Words: 5,563 - Reviews: 1885 - Favs: 883 - Follows: 628 - Updated: 8/23/2012 - Published: 1/3/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Taste of Your Lips by PhoenixDiamond reviews
Naruto's always had his mind set on his goals & he'll stop at nothing to get it done. But with expenses running high he's going to need to find another job. Unfortunately that new job might involve working for an egotistic jerk. Sasu/Naru. Neji/Naru AU. SUPER, MAJOR EDITING IN PROGRESS
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 150,817 - Reviews: 1136 - Favs: 1,266 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 4/15/2012 - Published: 10/2/2011 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.] - Complete
Daddies' Girls by BeautyHeldWithin reviews
It has been ten years since Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson broke up and split their family apart. Now, the two girls meet for the first time and scheme to get the happy family they never knew back. Based LOOSELY on The Parent Trap. AU
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 71,813 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
A Summer of Clichés by A-Simple-Rainbow reviews
The Hudmels decided to go to one of Europe's sunniest countries on vacation... Kurt was sure it wouldn't be worth it. He was so getting skin cancer. And it would be their fault. Nothing, nothing, would be worth two weeks of cancerous Sun. Or...? AU
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 110,703 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 3/10/2012 - Published: 8/13/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Sideways by CrissColferL0ve reviews
Blaine is the most popular kid at school, he's also a bully. Kurt is the new kid and the victim of the football team, but bullying somebody doesn't necessarily mean you won't end up liking them, even if you try your best not to. Rated M for later
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 37 - Words: 203,900 - Reviews: 1697 - Favs: 1,914 - Follows: 1,054 - Updated: 3/7/2012 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Stormy Night by M. B. Lewis reviews
Sasuke finds Naruto on his doorstep sopping wet and terrified by the storm raging outside. As he lets his rival inside, he doesn't know yet what he's getting himself into. Warning: yaoi, boyxboy, adult themes, 'slight' violence
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,081 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Two Requests by Rinpa reviews
Iruka and Kakashi begin to realize that they are attracted to one another, but somehow, things just aren't going smoothly. Rated T for now, but may be changed later. KakaIru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,838 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 7/4/2011 - Kakashi H., Iruka U. - Complete
I've Got More by VioletWylde reviews
Getting laid was not enough, I am determined to make him mine. Normally I wouldn't work so hard to convince somebody but for him I make an exception. Resisting was his first mistake - I will show him the error of his ways. Sasunaru. There will be lemons.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,933 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 587 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 6/10/2011 - Published: 5/13/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Remedy by Willheart reviews
Oneshot; Black meets N at the Ferris wheel in Nimbasa City, and their feelings for each other become apparent. - Rated M for highly suggestive scenes, Isshu Shipping.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,264 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 19 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Hilbert/Touya, N H./Natural H. G. - Complete
Just One Night With You by Kiya Sama reviews
A 'frightening' ultimatum given forces Naruto to join Team Taka. His discoveries would lead him to new friendships, romances, and a realization that Sasuke just might be a little less of a pain-in-the-ass than once assumed.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 122,413 - Reviews: 734 - Favs: 1,271 - Follows: 367 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Let It Snow by FastForward reviews
The last thing Sasuke wanted to do for Christmas was be stuck in the middle of nowhere with buckets of snow and an annoying neighbour who won't leave him alone. NaruSasu.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 94,718 - Reviews: 859 - Favs: 1,323 - Follows: 473 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 12/27/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Who's Your Daddy? by Gringy Boots reviews
Minato suspects Sasuke of sabotaging Naruto's relationships and for once his drunken ramblings were correct. Oneshot. Sasunaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,625 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 771 - Follows: 114 - Published: 10/28/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
I've Got You by DarkAuroran reviews
A battle against the Hidden Village of Mist leaves Konoha in wreckage. Iruka sacrificed everything to save his home and now is in the hands of the infamous Sharingan-Kakashi during his recovery. Kakashi couldn't be happier! Kakairu YAOI, slight sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 108,532 - Reviews: 2043 - Favs: 2,066 - Follows: 830 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Therapy by NavyBlueWings reviews
After four years, Tsunade has had enough of Sasuke and Naruto's fist fights. Ordering them to go to the best therapist in Konoha seems like a good idea. But what's this...? Dom and Sub? Sleepovers and kiss wars? What did they just sign up for? SasuNaru Le
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 179,093 - Reviews: 2724 - Favs: 4,338 - Follows: 1,324 - Updated: 6/4/2010 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Game Set Match by fuelled by ramen reviews
A tennis game ends with more than just a ceremony and a medal. NARUSASU. One-Shot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,988 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 26 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Bartender and the Businessman by SullenBee reviews
Sasuke sat on a barstool shoulders slumped. He had just downed a shot of Jack Daniels and the fiery liquid burned a streak through his throat... A very long one shot! Sasuke, Naruto and the Gang are Kishimoto's till I win the lottery! SXNXS
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,939 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/11/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Animal by darkalbino reviews
Morals and instinct were never meant to mix. Demon Sasuke and Naruto fic. Early birthday gift for Vege. AU, oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,134 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 52 - Published: 12/9/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Italy, Here we Come! by NavyBlueWings reviews
What happens when you take one excited Naruto, one stoic Sasuke, and throw them on a school trip to Italy? A pinch of trouble, a heap of laughs, and one unanswered confession on a lonesome Venice bridge. Pack your bags, it's going to be a crazy ride!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 105,339 - Reviews: 864 - Favs: 1,358 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 4/22/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Bloodlines by Disgruntled Minion reviews
To Sasuke the race track was a place of serious skill, competitive spirit, winner circles, and the steady beat of hoofs on the dirt ground. All that though was about to change thanks to the tracks newest jockey. AU:SasuNaru Complete
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 123,797 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 618 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 1/7/2009 - Published: 3/10/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Dragon's Kiss by Jupiter 13 reviews
Princess gets abducted by Dragon. Brave Knight goes to save Princess. Brave Knight slays Dragon and saves Princess. Brave Knight falls in love with Princess. Brave Knight and Princess marry. Your usual fairytale, right? …How about a new version? AU, SLASH
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 35 - Words: 262,550 - Reviews: 1751 - Favs: 1,137 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 10/6/2007 - S. Kaiba, K. Jounouchi/Joey W. - Complete
The Heart Of A Ninja by checkerbloom reviews
Someone wants to hurt Kakashi, where better to aim for than his heart? KakaIruKaka
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 156,360 - Reviews: 878 - Favs: 1,266 - Follows: 386 - Updated: 10/26/2008 - Published: 6/21/2007 - Kakashi H., Iruka U. - Complete
Bathhouse revelations by Lunael reviews
KakaIru After a long day of work, Iruka finds himself listening to some gossips concerning a certain jounin at the bathhouse and discovers that Kakashisensei is in love... with him! Beware: it has more depht that it seem. shounen ai
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 77,008 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 773 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 8/26/2006 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Inescapable You by Ambivalence reviews
A notsoinnocent prank leaves Kaiba Seto and Jounouchi Katsuya collared and leashed together for an undeterminable time. Now they must learn to work together without killing each other first. Shounenai, yaoi, SxJ.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 139,972 - Reviews: 1019 - Favs: 1,236 - Follows: 424 - Updated: 6/12/2008 - Published: 10/23/2004 - K. Jounouchi/Joey W., S. Kaiba - Complete
Touchstone by Sunlight through Leaves reviews
Kakairu 'And when we fall through their window in the dead of the night, bleeding all over their stuff, we need someone who will yell at us for being an idiot, but will still treat our wounds and keep us from dying in the middle of their living room.'
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,404 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 966 - Follows: 227 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Kakashi H., Iruka U. - Complete
All The Broken Pieces by Princess Tyler Briefs reviews
KakaIruKaka, eventually. Tsunade bets Asuma that Kakashi can teach Iruka to be a jonin in two months, and both men have their lives suddenly thrown into chaos. Amoung the challenges, love begins to work it's way into the hearts of the the two nin, and in
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 74,210 - Reviews: 1261 - Favs: 1,420 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 11/9/2007 - Published: 9/12/2006 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete