![]() I am a girl because i walk into sliding glass doors,i am a girl because i push a door that clearly says pull,i am a girl because i have a crush on a guy, then cry the next day because he has a girl friend,i am a girl because you are one to, (not the boys!) men do everything, MENopause MENstraturion MENstarturional cycle If you cannot stand child abuse, please copy and paste this into your profile! My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! I'm simply a twelve year old girl with a love for singing, dancing, reading, and especially, writing. There's not much left 2 say but this:For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be WEAK I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE so I MUST be a DITZ. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I live in the COUNTRY, so I MUST live on a farm. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a BITCH. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to HELL. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to HELL. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big (ish) BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER(what there's such things?!-my dumbassed friend), so I MUST be ugly... or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm a FEMALE, so I MUST not SWEAR .I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told) I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control lI'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore .I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. (I try) I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED... I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I wear BLACK nail polish, so I MUST be EMO, GOTH, or PUNK I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am an HONOR STUDENT, so I MUST be a NERD. I CRY, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help POINTING OUT MISTAKES so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist. I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake. I'm a BURNETTE so I MUST think I'm better then redheads, blondes, and other dark haired people. I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems I'm SHY so I must get ABUSED at home I REALLY HATE STEREOTYPES! We are all normal people, all of us are just different. Some people don't want to accept that their child is lesbian or gay, goth or punk, so they ruin their lives. No one is perfect, their is no such thing as perfect because everything has its flaws. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something.I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. (okay about six months... but he was a bastard) I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Clever comeback: Someone calls you a bitch. Than you say, "Well a bitch is a dog. dogs bark. bark grows on trees. trees are a part of nature. and nature is beautiful. I know I am beautiful.Thanks for the compliment! 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Matt and Mello are NOT DEAD A report by a fellow DN fan. After researching the rules of the Death Note once again, I stumbled upon one that could help prove the fact that Matt and Mello did not die on their canon death day. The rule is:'If writing the same name on more than two Death Notes is completed within 0.06 seconds, it is regarded as simultaneous; the Death Note will not take effect and the individual written will not die,as found in How to Use: XV. This is the theory that I formulated: As Mello's death approaches, Sidoh is watching from the sidelines. He sees the date above Mello's head and realizes that the blond has very little time left. So, as he watches Mello drive the truck to Nagano, Sidoh travels to the human world, takes out his Notebook, and writes Mello's real name down. Sidoh is doing this because since Mello has at one point owned his Death Note, Mello can be considered as an owner of the Death Note. Since another rule states that the only god of death that can kill the owner of the Notebook is the one who gave their Notebook up in the first place, Sidoh thinks that it's his responsibility to end Mello's life(as Ryuk does to Light later on in the book).At the same time Sidoh is just finishing writing 'Mihael Keehl,' Takada is also hurrying to write Mello's name in the scrap of the Notebook. The two finish writing the 'l' at exactly the same time, causing the first mentioned rule to take place.Meanwhile, Mello is fully expecting to be killed by Takada. He becomes confused when it takes longer than it should, then realizes that something must have gone wrong. Excited that he may continue to live, Mello fakes his death, purposely crashing the truck into Nagano. Knowing Light would want to erase any evidence, Mello quickly escapes and manages to get away while the church burns in the distance.He finds a way to get back to where he the kidnapping had first taken place, following the route that Matt was supposed to take. When he reaches the clearing where Matt's car is at, riddled with bullet holes, he rushes to the redhead. A quick check at the redhead's pulse assures him that Matt is still alive, merely acting as if he had been shot down, whereas he'd actually been wearing a bullet proof vest. The blood stains are from his arms, which were unprotected by the vest and hit by three bullets, since most of the bodyguards had been aiming for his chest. The blood soaks nearly his entire outer vest, making it appear as if he'd been shot in the chest.Mello picks Matt up and rushes to the nearest hospital where the hacker can be fixed up.In the safe confines of a new apartment somewhere secluded, the two, both alive, watch as Kira is finally put to an end by Near. Copy and paste this report to your profile if you KNOW that Matt and Mello are not dead, but living together, finally able to love each other properly without the worry of dying. Well, then again, there's Matt's cigarettes, but...he quit! SO YEAH The music quiz! Instructions: 1. Turn on your i-pod, MP3 etc. and put the music on shuffle. 2. Answer each question with the title of the next song on the playlist. Got that? 1.) How are you feeling today?Hummingbird Heartbeat: Katy Perry (not true but ok...) 2.) Where will you get married?I Gotta Feeling: Black Eyed Peas 3.) What is your best friend's theme song?Last Friday Night: Katy Perry (Lol so true...) 4.) What is/was highschool like?Teenage Dream: Katy Perry 5.) What is the best thing about you?Faster: Matt Nathenson 6.) How is today going to be?Firework: Katy Perry 7.) What is in store for this weekend?Who am I living For?: Katy Perry 8.)What song describes your parents?Everything About You: One Direction 9.) How is your life going?Coutry Lane: Telekinesis 10.)What song will they play at your funeral?Califorina Girls:Katy Perry ( sorry, Connecticut Gurls!) 11.) How does the world see you?Rest: Parts&Labor 12.) What do my friends really think of me?Taken: One Direction 13) Do people secretly like you?One Thing: One Direction 14.) How can you make yourself happy?Skip the Charades: Cold War Kids 15.) What should you do with your life?What Makes You Beautiful: One Direction 16.) Will you be happy?Stole my Heart: One Direction 17.) What is some good advice?Half of Something Else: The Airborne Toxic Event 18.) What is your current theme song?Just Can't Get Enough: Black Eyed Peas (i cant get any :P) 19.) What does everyone else think your current theme song is?Under the Sycamore: Death Cab for Cutie 20.) What type of men/women do you like?:Just a Friend:Brooker T. Jones 21.) Will you get married?ET: Katy Perry 22.)What should you do with your love life?Everybody Talks: Neon Trees 23.) Where will you live?Not Like the Movies: Katy Perry 24.) What will your dying words be?Gotta Be You: OneDirection 25.) Are you hot?Up all Night: One Direction 26.)What are your hobbies?Chaple Song: We are Augustines 27)Do you like sports?Stand Up: One Direction ( i despise them) 28)Do you talk a lot?Imma Be: Black Eyed Peas (hella yea!) 29)Do you like books?Battery Kinzie: Fleet Foxes 30)do you like yourself?I Do: Colbie Calliet You Know Your Stupid When: 1) You look for your cellphone while talking on Said cellphoneLOL 2) Someone names what you're having for dinner and your brother asks right after "Whats for dinner?" 3) When dinner is done and you get asked "are you hungry?" andyou say "no" then turn around and eat a bowl of cerea l4) You walk around the house with your shoes on and say "im looking for my shoes" 5) You have all your clothes on and say "i have to getdressed" 6) You stand at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green 7) When someone is walking you to school (or driving) and you ask "where are we going?" 8) You are asked to wash your clothes and you wash ONE sock 9) You take the neighbor a cup of sugar and bring them a empty cup I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight throuth the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital bacause they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rest a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it Scumbags!! We are ALL HUMAN!! Gay or not, I don't care... It's the inside there counts! Ones soul. I'm not gay, but I don't hate them (one of bestie's is gay!), they have as much right as I and all other people has! "Homophobes Are People Who Didnt Even Come Out The Closet Themselves And Are Just Jealous Of The Gay People Who Arent Afraid To Do It " Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy" I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy. I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before workI'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care But most of allI'm sorry For not being sorry anymore I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm Sorry That I cared I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different. Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' Quotes: -If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty. -All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun -I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous -Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. -They say "guns don’t kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood there and yelled BANG I don’t think you'd kill too many people.(True, L tried it, but it didn't work.) -So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil? -Yeah, I’m a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet -Save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate. -I've heard that it’s possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. (Besides, what’s the fun in that?) -No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me -You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me -When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons? -When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it .-When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then. -Love your enemies. It pisses them off -Oops! did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? -I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out -I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! but not my brain. I need that. -Life isn’t passing me by; it's trying to run me over -Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to -I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept! -Therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide -I like the idea of karma. you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it -Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. -How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on -If superman is bulletproof why does he duck when you throw the gun at him? -If asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your ass, why are they named the way they are? -If olive oil comes from olives, where the hell does baby oil come from? -I live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there -Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it. -Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and there would have been peace on earth -The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide -Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend -Tell the truth and run -If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? (Hehe MORONS! For those of you who didn't figure it out) -Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures? -If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something -You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump of a cliff, I laugh even harder -A good friend will always bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man that was fun! -Education is important. School however, is another matter. -I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends(true, true) -It's not just your family. It's the whole idea of... you know. they're always telling you what to do and what not to do, and its not conductive to a creative atmosphere! -Joey ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong? -All right, all right. I you have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timings right... and that’s what deathbeds are for -The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on -I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are six people in my familly so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my younger brothers, Bj, Matt, or Will. It might be me, Yi Li Sha, but i think its Bj. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers. "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics "Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone." "Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat." Her name was Auroura She was only five This is what happened When she was alive Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly crys She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "God, why? Why is My life always sinking?" Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless pest!" The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms that's some deep stuff right there. That hit me right in my heart. I cried when I read it. I know it's strange coming from a humor writer, but I work in strange ways. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...(SUCK IT WHITE DUDE! I BELIEVE DAT'S CALLED PWNAGE! I AGREE WITH THE BLACK DUDE!!!! NO MORE RACISM!!!!!) Hetalia Pledge I promise to remember Italy whenever someone mentions pasta. I promise to remember Germany whenever someome says West. I promise to remeber Japan whenever I see an Asain tourist taking pictures of brightly coloured cake. I promise to remember America whenever I see someone eating a Big Mac. I promise to remember England whenever I watch Doctor Who (or Harry Potter for that matter!) . I promise to remember France whenever I see a rose. I promise to remember China whenever I see Hello Kitty. I promise to remember Russia whenever I see a lead pipe. I promise to remember Lithuania whenever I see a guy being pushed around by a Russian. I promise to remember Estonia whenever I see a smart guy being pushed around by a Russian. I promise to remember Latvia whenever I see a scared guy being pushed around by a Russian. I promise to remember Belarus whenever I see a girl demanding to become one with her older brother. I promise to remember Ukraine whenever I hear and or see HUGE boobs. I promise to remember Sweden whenever I pass by an IKEA. I promise to remember Finland whenever I hear someone say 'My wife'. I promise to remember Spain whenever I see a tomato field. I promise to remember Romano whenever I see a kid pouting and swearing. I promise to remember Hungary whenever I see a frying pan. I promise to remember Austria whenever I hear someone play Chopin on the piano. I promise to remember Prussia whenever I hear someone say AWESOME! I promise to remember Poland whenever I pass a Valley Girl. I promise to remember Switzerland whenever I see a guy with a gun. I promise to remember Liechtenstein whenever I see a girl wearing a bow in her hair. I promise to remember Turkey whenever I think about Phantom of the opera. I promise to remember Greece whenever I see a sleeping man with a cat. I promise to remember Egypt whenever I see a pyramid and or triangle. I promise to remember Canada whenever I see pancakes. I promise to remember Cuba whenever I see a fat guy eating ice-cream. I promise to remember Sealand whenever I see boat. I promise to remember Grandpa Rome whenever I see someone way to young to be a grandfather. I promise to remember Germania whenever I see Legolas from LOTR. I promise to remember Holy Rome whenever I see a boy to nervous to confess that he loves someone. I promise to remember Canada whenever I hear someone say or ask "Who?" They said they didn't like my writing... I said I didn't like their existence If you are an Axis Powers Hetalia fan, copy this onto your profile! 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here" 16. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 17. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 18. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 20. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 21. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 22. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 23. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10". 24. Play with the automatic doors. 25. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 26. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?" 27. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 28. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive." 29. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 30. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 31. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 33.Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 34. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!" 35. TP as much of the store as possible. 36. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 37. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 38. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 39. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 40. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 41. Take bets on the battle described above. 42. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 43. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 44. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 45. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 46. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 47. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 48. Two words: "Marco Polo." 49. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc. 50. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics. 51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 52. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 53. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 54. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. TANKS FOR LASTING THIS LONG! PLEASE LAST LONGER AND TAKE A PEEK AT MY STORIES!PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(oh god thats pathetic) |
Please Alfred by Ava Braginski Wang reviews
International Fear by pingo1387 reviews
Adamantine by chinarai reviews
Muse File Cabinet by 9foxgrl reviews
Infantile Issues by Mewtrune reviews
Obsession by Kryalla Orchid reviews
A Heated Story by esompthin reviews
Hoist the Colors High by Elemental Fantasy 13 reviews
A State of Madness by Ellethwen Celtica reviews
Bruises and Excuses by A Faint Memory Once Recalled reviews
Provinces & States: You're Doomed! by 9foxgrl reviews
Merry Shitscram by irl-alfed reviews
Frugal Money Schemes by Lurking Pheonix reviews
Deep Pressure by SilverWolf7 reviews
Oh God by olympic platinum reviews
You Have A Cute Butt by Hi-its-mick3y reviews
America's Fifty Niftey United States by Rockin Riley reviews
Boredom Kills, So Send Us Stuff! by xSkipperrx reviews
Cornered With Concerns by pandanarchy reviews
Do You Trust Me? by Hi-its-mick3y reviews
Sleep, and When You Wake, I Will Still Be Here by brumalbreeze reviews
Coffee Break by brumalbreeze reviews
Alcol e Sesso by EriAmore reviews
Between the Lines by brumalbreeze reviews
Lights! Camera! by Kitsune-Sam's reviews
Clockwork by cliffrose-acetone reviews
Cosmic by ValorTheory reviews
Germany's Plan to Take Down the World by Nika565 reviews
Aggressive Study Habits by brumalbreeze reviews
Missing Breakfast for a Worthwhile Cause by EmpressTurtle reviews
Cocking by ChizuChan22 reviews
Disgusting by jayewings reviews
Truth or Dare: A Wretched Idea by Orotha reviews
All Aboard The Rosaria by thenewalchemist reviews
We've Got You by Mewtrune reviews
Music Gets The Best Of Me by Fruits Of Passion reviews
Quiet Now by Goddess of the Multiverses reviews
All I Want For Christmas Is You by A-Far-Off-Memory reviews
Christmas Miracles by Sorkari reviews
Hobby by CoSINeRULES reviews
We Will Be There by ficfan3484 reviews
Special Medicine by demikit225 reviews
Lessons by Xsaku-uchihaX reviews
The Bear, the Mouse, and Their Child by Lizardgirl135 reviews
Ask A Hetalia Character by Nekome-Sama reviews
Breathe Eren by Hi-its-mick3y reviews
Love Distance Long Affair by KuroRiya reviews
Hang-Ups by freshia reviews
Addendum by brumalbreeze reviews
The Flag Still Stands For Freedom by Hawthorn Tree reviews
Black, Blue and Silver by mymanisfictional reviews
Chocolate Kisses by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee reviews
Toying Around by fumioo reviews
Lucky To Have You by MarluxiaSutcliff116 reviews
morning through thin sheets and sweet hands by Bag Of Badgers reviews
NationXNation Reader by HetaRussia reviews
I WANT TO FEEL YOU FROM THE INSIDE by Jean-Huh-Kirschnickerdoodle reviews
For Your Eyes Only by AuraFelix reviews
Trains don't go to nowhere by Wool fish reviews
How to Cure a Cold by Whats My Dere reviews
Can You pay Attention to Me? by Animerulzs1267 reviews
Seven Orders of Levi by Wild Rhov reviews
7 Minutes in Heaven - or Hell? by EmmaJay64 reviews
The Ghost of Notre Dame by sillypandalover91 reviews
Tulips Blooming by SouthParkFirefly reviews
In Which Levi's Got Some Next Level Denial by Charleigh96 reviews
Something Special by DreamerScarletNights reviews
xxx porn hub by Stevanie Salazar reviews
Patience is a Virtue by kyouko68 reviews
The 50 states by Dr.Coconuts reviews
Stop waving the red flag by Starlit Hero reviews
Merica by Lady Island Rose reviews
Interruptions by ItalianLink reviews
The Craziest Family of America by Overlord Meow reviews
The Song's Influence by Aradellia reviews
Why Don't We by acidic paper reviews
Washy and Massy's adventures! by Ameriko-chan reviews
Wait, God is a WHAT? ! by Murasaki Argenteria reviews
French Desires, English annoyance by Ember Hinote reviews
Anniversary notes, to my love by ArthurKirkland235 reviews
Countries and Capitals by iamsuchaflippingpancake13 reviews
Norway's little princess by Thousnelda reviews
Devil's Advocate by scottishdraka reviews
Sweet Love by Highla reviews
Feel Again by xxignoredxx reviews
Relief by Sakikox3 reviews
No Peace in Sleep by Mitrus reviews
America and the Twin Towers by Scarlet64 reviews
Sunflowers and Forget-me-nots by LaurelSilver reviews
Sweet Heart Shock by Ice Witch Elise reviews
Canada's World: Second Saturday by Fred-the-Moose reviews
The Absurdity of it All by AmputeeTrainee reviews
Blood, Bosses, and Bad Boys by the-pony-wizard reviews
A UsUk Valentine's Day by ludwigsgirl97 reviews
Meddling with Princesses by Zeplerfer reviews
Russia X Canada by Archie KolherBondevik reviews
Cupid's Got A Shotgun by NordicFlags reviews
Four Little Words by Myathewolfeh reviews
A Hundred Hearts Would Be Too Few by Gui Zhou reviews
I'm Going To A Concert by KTdidn'tIsweartogod reviews
Purple Corsets and Satin Gags by Garbagecan123415 reviews
The Austrian Curl reuploaded by Rosewitch97 reviews
Three Fingers by A Vampires Butterfly reviews
Canada's World by Fred-the-Moose reviews
Punishment for hunger by F0ghornLegh0rn reviews
America's states, personified! by Ameriko-chan reviews
The Game by PoisnousPixie reviews
Kadin Ece by coeurgryffondor reviews
Substitute Santa by D1g1m0ncrazy reviews
CountryxReader Poems by CrAzYnOtInLoVe reviews
Hetalia FUN song parody by Peeping Tomma reviews
The Greatest Pirate Story Ever Told by XxANYxAPHxAUxX reviews
Daylight by ShadowmoonXBlackfire reviews
A Pillow For Harry One Direction by jnoof reviews
First Sight by Mizuki Tsukino reviews
Suite Life by Orotha reviews
Part 2: One Direction Romances by zaynletmeloveyou reviews
A Matter of Size by cheshirejin reviews
Forever and Always by Wicked-Witch-of-the-Midwest-18 reviews
Don't Tell Papa by MasochisticKitten reviews
Shorts by FrUKing Awesome Canadian Hero reviews
I'm The New Cancer by TheNovelReality reviews
Je t'adore by kuoshii reviews
PewdieCry Shuffles by Tabrina reviews
IM ADOPTED! by GabiCollard reviews
Lucid Dreaming An AmeCan by McBuscus reviews
Falling in Love All Over Again by Wicked-Witch-of-the-Midwest-18 reviews
Sneezes and a Scarf by yaoilover4lyfe reviews
One Direction Romances by zaynletmeloveyou reviews
Brother Dearest by woodbyne reviews
Everything About You by liebe-neu reviews
Struck By Love by Wicked-Witch-of-the-Midwest-18 reviews
Orders and Prohibitions by kelvoton reviews
This Is It by Wicked-Witch-of-the-Midwest-18 reviews
Invisible by Bad.Touch.Trio.Love reviews
Dare You by Bad.Touch.Trio.Love reviews
Little Kitty by AngieXRosyX reviews
Love Games by panikingpandora reviews
Connecticut's happy bleated Birthday! by livingplayanime reviews
Damn Italian Curls by joyouswolves reviews
That Special Heat by ClockworkRabbit reviews
He's My Fratello by LiKe a dRuG reviews
Test Fiction: The Queen by doujinshininjah reviews
: Christmas Time : by CorruptedWhispers reviews
Even If the World Were to End Tomorrow by IDespiseTragedy reviews
Across the Wire by the monochromatic reviews
Dead or Alive? by aRt1995 reviews
This Is Right by Little-Tomato-Girl reviews
Schoolgirl Fantasies by Rose Fortress reviews
Tangled Curls by Stripes93 reviews
Silk Bindings of Love by Rose Fortress reviews
Puppy Love by The-Original-Scotland reviews
Medical Examinations by XxFreak-ShowxX reviews
Gentleman Caller by crescit eundo reviews
A Little National Brotherly Love by X-Hayze-chan-X reviews