![]() hi there my name is lizzy I'm Australian and thats all I'm saying about myself The six truths of life 1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue. 2. You just tried to do the above. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot. 5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it. 6. There's still a stupid smile on your fac In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (and that would be how??...) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...) On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because??...) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)? On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) On a Korean kitchen knife -- "Warning: keep out of children." (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...) On a matress warning label -- "WARNING: Do not attempt to swallow." (What prompted this?) On the back of a watch -- "For Best Results Use Other Side." (I start to question the world now.) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe.If you're part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off, copy and paste this into your profile. 95 percent of American teen girls would rush in a mob to every sperm bank if Robert Pattinson announced that he had donated sperm. Copy this to your profile if you would be part of the 5 percent holding a gun, watching the mob rush by, and picking off the weaklings... 95 percent of girls everywhere would cry if they saw justin bieber about to jump of a cliff, 4 percent would be laughing their butts off, Copy this if you would be the one up there pushing him off! (i would be laughing so hard while pushing him off i would probly fall off to LOL) -Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -- Ayn Ran Writer's Block: When characters get fed up with all that you put them through and go on strike Stop the Pairing Wars! By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them. You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else. You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them. You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing. You shalt paste this in your profile. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.If this is you too, copy and paste this into your profile. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I used to be normal, until i met the freaks i call friends People who say anything is posible, Haven't tried to slam a revolving door Therapist = The/rapist... Scary thought I hear voices and they dont like you Im not paranoid...WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!! If at first you dont succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried Parents spen the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up Im not insane... I just do what the voices tell me to Life isn't passing me by; It's trying to run me over "What happens when we get to scared half to death Twice?" You know it's gonna be a bad day when you jump out of bed, and miss the floor When life gives you lemos, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it I agrre with the dictionary. Girls before Guys. Partying before Studying. And Friendship before Love When you live forever, What do you Live for? Someday everything will all make perfect sence. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. How can you break my fucking heart, and tell me you still love me? we're just silly little girls, that fall for stupid boys. She smashed the rearview mirror with her fist, because starting today she's never looking back. Side by side, or miles apart. Friends are forever, close to your heart. Smile if you like it, blush if you want more.(This one reminds me of bella.) There's beauty in all imperfections. Learn to love them. Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart and you'll steal mine. I say we shoot cupid. Welcome to the world where being you is never enough. Live your life crazy and love every minute of it. Turn that ipod up way loud and blockout that world like nothing is wrong. I'd rather die than let you control me. You gotta take the, good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got and remember what you had. After awhile you just want to be with the one that makes you giggle. A best friend is the one who can look at you with the biggest smile on your face and know something is still wrong. My friends are CRAZY, but I still love them. Cherish yesterday, Live today, Dream tomorrow. It's sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and now you can barely even look at them. Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forget quickly. Take chances and give everything and have no regrets. Don't worry about the people in the past. There's a reason they didn't make it to your future. All I want is for one guy, to prove they're not all the same. So there's this boy and the way he laughs makes me smile, and the way he talks gives me butterflies, & just everything about him makes me happy. Never regret something that made you smile. I heart boy's with guitars. We were like whoa. I'm the type of girl that will burst out laughing in a dead silence, because of something that happened yesterday. Truth about girls, we must go to bathrooms in groups. Just another innocent face. Pretty smiles and makeup hide so much these day's. Love starts with a smile, developes with a kiss, and ends with a tear. It doesn't matter anymore. I guess things happen for a reason. Tears eventually fade, and one day everything will be how Stick it in your juice box, and suck it. Opps did my saracasm hurt you? Deal with it! Girls 1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? The Fame (?) 2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Everything back but you 3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? only when i sleep (yea that is the only time i think) 4. WHAT IS 2+2? Fingers 5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Desire (okay that is just gross) 6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Don't let me get me-radio version 7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? who knows (lol) 8.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? the day that i die 9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? better than revenge 10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Bohemian Rhapsody 11.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Freak out 12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? i don't wanna be in love (love this song) 13.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Do this anymore (wha?) 14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? far away(it is actually) 15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? push you away(i do that with nearly everyone) 16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? A new beginning 17. HOW WILL YOU DIE? one of those girls(i knew that they were after me) 18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET? he wasn't 19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? cuz i can 20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? crash and burn(another fav) 21. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? never grow up (well i kinda knew i would be a child forever) 22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? whataya want from me 23. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? hot(i know i am) 24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? dancing in the moonlight 25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? say anything 26. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? What it's like Meaning of Each Letter in Your Name A: Hot E: Has gorgeous eyes L: Smile to die for I: Loves to smile and laugh Z: Can be funny and dumb at times A: Hot B: Loves Peolpe E: Has gorgeous eyes T: A very good kisser H: Easy to fall in love with REMEMBER WHEN .. (Now no one wants to do that!) - Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever called one of your friends Mom on accident, copy and paste this on your profile. If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" song copy this into your profile! This is so true sadly: If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. Been there. Died of that. Hurt him. Kissed her. Got them mad at me. Avenged those guys. Wow, I did a lot this weekend! "Sunday's Dying I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. And then Buffy staked Edward. The end. I slay demons with Shadowhunters on weekdays, at weekends I solve crimes with Skulduggery Pleasant, my spare time is spent in the FAYZ and in the summer holidays I compete in the Hunger Games. Aren't you so jealous? Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors. Will: Have you ever seen what happens to someone with demon pox? First it lies dormant. One begins to turn yellow and green. Then the swelling sets in - "THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US!!!" I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. Don’t knock on death’s door…ring the doorbell and run. He hates that. Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later -you cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder -I was normal once. But then I watched Doctor Who I don't obsess! I think intensely. All the good ones are either dateing someone, married, gay, priests or fictional characters in books or movies. If yellow light means to slow down, why do people always speed up? Don't know where this is from but: And then Leonardo da Vinci punched Antonio in the mouth. Not even Jesus saw that shit coming. "Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it in the balls." - Stephen Stills Love Is Love + = Don't ask...There's no way I'm telling. We do not own cats, cats rule over us, and have the power to make us do their bidding. All of us crazy people will all rule the world someday. Those who have misunderstood us will be sorry. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.(um...duh) If you think Edward Cullen is a pedofile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Jacob Black is a pedofile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you realize i spelled pedofile (pedophile) wrong, copy and paste this into your profile. If Disney gave you unrealistic expectations about hair, copy and paste this into your profile. I survived Y2K, 9/11, mad cow disease, bird flu and swine flu. 2012, bring it on. About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone that she fell...and they believed them. THEY HURT HER FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post but didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. plz dont ignore this peoples! On December 24th, 2006 at 8:00 in the morning, a 14-year-old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead. Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death. His mother checked his e-mails to see if she could figure out what happened. Turns out he was still signed into his Yahoo e-mail account. She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't send a chain letter about a little girl who kills you in your sleep with no natural cause of death. This is the e-mail she read: My name is Ofelia Heras. I'm 16 years old. I'm a murderer. I have no face. When you look at me you'll die immediately. You have 900 seconds to repost this onto your profile or I will visit you tonight. A girl died in 1933.A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive.The murderer chanted , Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Here is the BEST POEM EVER: White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses. White is the colour of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky. White is the colour of soft serve ice cream in a cone. White is the colour of angels wings and Angel's wings. White is the colour of brand new ankle socks fresh out of the bag. White is the colour of crisp sheets in schmancy hotels White is the colour of every last freaking dang thing you see for endless miles and MILES if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness- Wonder Bread, someone's underwear, teeth, you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself. I AM: procrastinator to the max. Why guys go out with girls: When she says she's cold= she wants you to hold her tight. If you found this sweet and wish a guy you knew was like this, copy and paste this onto your profile. A Real boyrfriend. And yes i know some have been repeated, but you can never have too much of a good thing. When she walks away from you= follow her. ~Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying a word. If you wish that the love of your dreams was like this, copy and paste onto your profile. What a kiss means. I love the rain- with that tiny rainbow at the end that lightens up my heart, like when you touch my hand. If you believe this, and dream for the one you love the most; copy and paste this onto your profile I heard an interesting thing the other day, which I found supremely HILARIOUS!! And I hope you do too. You know why they call a shark a shark? When I heard this, I swear I almost died laughing! The guy who came up with this was a classic! I love comedy, especially when it's coming from a vampire-all-things-scary-themed resturant. A friend is someone who will ask if there's a problem and then ignore it completely. If you agree that friends should pester the heck out of you till you tell them your problems, copy and paste this onto your profile. quotes i've read from peoples profiles. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. (No idea who said this). Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love. Because a heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever. (unknown) "Ah! I hate this techno-crud! Just show me what to hit!" (Raphael, "Aliens Among Us") I'm perfectly happy with who I am. It's who everyone else is that depresses me.(have no idea) Weird is good, strange is bad and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so that means weird is good. You laugh, I laugh; you cry, I cry; you fall off a cliff...I laugh even harder! They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people!" Well...I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled bang!, I don't think you'd kill too many people. "Whatever it is, I didn't do it! And even if I did do it you can't prove that I did it!" Wade: Uh-oh! Mushu: I LIIIIIIVE! (silence) So what mortal needs my protection, Great Ancestor? You just say the word, and I'm there! Mulan: Who am I kidding? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army. THINGS YOU DON"T WANT TO HEAR DURING SUGURY The Best Quote To Live By. "Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one." Timothy McGee, NCIS "Endgame." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~╔══╗╔══╦╗Put this on your~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~╔═╦═╦═╦╦╗Put this on your channel~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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