![]() Author has written 2 stories for Hunger Games, and Gallagher Girls. Hello peoples! I love you all! not really! I don't love murder-ers. Anyway, I've always loved to write so I hope you like my stories. I make nice stories so you should read them! If your annoyed at me for starting lots of stories and then not finishing them right away, well I write what I want when I want so there. Also, call me Emi. (。◕‿‿◕。) Anyway, again, PM me for anything really! ;) Peace! P.S. - VOTE IN MY POLL IF THERE IS ONE UP! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE NEVER READ THE FANFIC OR EVEN THE STORY(S)/BOOK(S) IT'S BASED ON! JUST DO IT! THANKS. AWESOME SAYINGS! If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one. Some people fight fire with fire, I fight fire with water. "Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce." I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. You can't have everything...where would you put it? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking? A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." When in doubt, push random buttons! You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?" An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. "It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people... Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking He who laughs last thinks slowest An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? "College is a refuge from hasty judgment." They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance? Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Don’t judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But after that, you don’t have to worry, because you’re a mile away and you have his shoes. Did you know the average person lies 4 times a day? The most common lies are "I'm fine," "It's ok.", and "Sorry." Therapist = The/rapist... Scary thought "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Oops did my saracasm hurt you? Deal with it! You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you. I hear voices and they dont like you. "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ''never try''." I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. Im not insane... I just do what the voices tell me to Sometimes when im alone in a room I like to say, “I know you’re listening” because if I'm wrong then no one heard but if I'm right then I just freaked the heck out of some secret organization To put it nicely, I hope you choke Want to know who your real friends are? Mess up and see who is still standing beside you. I intend to live forever. So far, so good... When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like heck. Forever isn't as long as it use to be. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side. If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn! Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Join the Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them Falling doesn't hurt you--it's the immediate stop at the bottom that does. Being mature is overrated. If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet? "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to. Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate. I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in? "I found a great way to attract money... work!" Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. Ever wonder why doctors call what they are doing a "practice"? If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over. Death is a once in a lifetime experience. I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder. If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits? I am in my own little world, but it's okay they know me here. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque. Finally things will start clicking…your elbow, knees and back! I use to have an open mind, but my brains kept on falling out. "I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom." Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? (think about it) If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! / Person #2: Too bad the world is round! Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . . When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. I'm not random; I just have many thought- OH! A SQUIRREL! If everything seems to be going alright, you have obviously overlooked something. Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends don't carry knives. Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? Death is hereditary. Don't run down the school hallway; gliding is much more fun! Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse." And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. I'm not insensitive, I just don't care All I want is for one guy, to prove they're not all the same. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. No ones perfect… well there was this one Guy, but we killed him If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage "Why dont you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.." "I'm not physcotic, I'm a freaking retard. DUH" Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. "I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own." Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. "If you can't convince them, confuse them." Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. "You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance." There are three kinds of lies: lies, darned lies, and statistics. The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. "Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real." "I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not." Why are the Force and duct tape the same? -Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! "The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left." The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. "Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of time looking for their cars in mall parking lots." "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. "I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck." Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public. Normal is just a setting on washing machines. Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. If anything absolutely can NOT go wrong, it will anyway. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. "Don't look back - something might be gaining on you." Everything takes longer than you think Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." "The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom." Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust? Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry. "I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! " The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go hey, I'm Vine Man. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. "Never memorize something that you can look up." Parents spend the first part of our lives to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to shut up and sit down. Slinky + Escalator = Endless Fun! "I either Get what I want or I change my mind." Being weird is like being normal, only better. When you say I'm weird, I laugh because I knew that wayyyy before you did. Your just jealous 'cause we act stupid in public and people still love us! You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake. "I am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want it." Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives. "Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new after all." Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems! "I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress." If beauty was a crime you would be serving 3 life sentences The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? I'm not weird, your just to normal. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience All people are born right-handed, only the gifted over come it. I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast. If the teacher is way better than the one he teaches, he’s nothing but a failure. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality i accept. Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. Right or wrong, it's very pleasant to break something from time to time. I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else. No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning. One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself. When all else fails, use duct tape. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. My Reality Check bounced. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. "If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?" Fixing a broken heart is easy but keeping it together is whats hard "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon." We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? Forgive and Forget. The best key to happiness. Well i may forgive you but i will never forget. "There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt." Life it a game, be careful or you'll lose it "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Adults are like kids with money. I'm not shallow, you are just ugly! A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. I can resist everything except temptation. Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life. An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!" Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! Where there’s a will… I want to be on it. I didn’t lose my mind, I sold it on eBay. Men are like a deck of playing cards, you need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his stupid head in, and a spade to bury the jerk My friends are the kind that if my house was burning down they would be making s’mores and hitting on the firemen When I want your opinion, I will remove the duct tape. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Smile: your government is watching I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying I’m sorry – my fault. I forgot you were an idiot. Whatever life throws at you, use it to your advantage! Build a bridge and get over it! They've got a picture of her at the hospital - it saves using the stomach pump There is an exception to every rule, except this one. I am planning to be more spontaneous in the future. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. How come we have to choose from just 2 persons for president, and 50 for Miss America? We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present." It's always funny until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age. Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years! People say you can't live without love... I think oxygen is more important Of course women don't work as hard as men: they get it right the first time! We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying. The road to success is always under construction. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. “I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.” I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without their motives questioned. Do not interrupt me when I am talking to myself! Friends help you move. Real friends help move bodies. A fact of Life: After every Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F…… You’re a great friend, but if we get chased by zombies – I’m tripping you. comebacks to awe-ful pickup lines it'll make you lybo Man: "I know how to please a woman." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy: Man: "Your body is like a temple." Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Man: "Your place or mine?" Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Man: "But I don't know your name." Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" Man: "Haven't we met before?" Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: "Is this seat empty?" Man: "Where have you been all my life?" Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together" IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison or Jacob/Taylor Lautner are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D |
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