Poll: Who is the best Death Eater? Vote Now! |
![]() Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. My name is Isabella Snape, heiress to House Black. Not only am I writing a fanfic, I have an actual story in the works as well. If you want more info on my own story, message me or find me on tumblr as aryaofravenclaw. Not many people know of my story, so please recomend it to friends! I have just created a story called Her Beginning. Please read!!!! Fav pairings Harry/Luna Draco/Hermione. You say Twilight I say Harry Potter You say vampires I say wizards You say Jacob Black I say Sirius Black you say Team Edward I say Team Malfoy You say Robert Pattinson I'll say "is Cedric Diggory" You say Robert Pattinson is hot I say Tom Felton is HOTTER You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple? I think thats Lupin and Tonks. You say Edward I'll say Harry, now CRUCIO! Things Snape is NOT allowed to do at Hogwarts By excessivelyperky 1. Not allowed to sing “Black Powder and Alcohol” to the students. Especially not allowed to substitute ingredients that will result in napalm and methamphetamine instead. 2. Crucifying toads. Bad idea. 3. Not allowed to collect blood and/or hair samples from students or staff for potion-making. This includes Mrs. Norris. 4. Not allowed to train Hagrid’s pets into attacking Gryffindors. 5. May not call any members of the Ministry of Magic untrustworthy, corrupt slime. Not even Fudge. Ok, especially not Fudge. 6. Even if I still have the receipt for the last bribe I gave him from Lucius. 7. Must never tease Trelawney about what she puts in her incense. 8. May not sell any Weasley into slavery. 9. Gozer does not live in my supply cabinet. You’d be surprised what does, though. 10. The Forbidden Forest is not full of yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell first-years that it is. 11. I cannot trade McGonagall to the Death-Eaters for McNair, Avery, and a DE to be named later. 12. “Poppy” is Madam Pomfrey’s nickname, and not what she dispenses. 13. May not conduct psychological experiments on staff members or students. 14. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born. 15. While under Veritaserum. 16. 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long-term goal to give Lord Voldemort. Or Dumbledore, for that matter. 17. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". Not even Pettigrew. 18. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question Dumbledore asks me. Only Trelawney gets to do that. 19. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on school time. 20. Must wash my hair even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'. 21. Must not taunt the Hufflepuffs. 22. Not allowed to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in Death-Eater recruiting posters. God only knows why. 23. Not allowed to put up Death-Eater recruiting posters on school property, not even in the Slytherin Common Room. 24. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain(s) of command. Neither Dumbledore nor Voldemort have any sense of humor that way. 25. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Professor Snape. 26. There are no evil clowns living under my bed. 27. Except Peeves. 28. Nerve gas is not funny, not even at a Dark Revel. 29. Must not tell any Death-Eater that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true. 30. Visiting Irish wizards are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'. Now Flitwick, on the other hand, has a right to be worried. 31. Potions Class should not end in tragedy. 32. I may not produce or perform in “Hogwarts: The Full Monty”. Nor may I encourage any student or staff to do so. 33. Not even Madam Hooch. 34. May not use Harry Potter as a body shield if Voldemort invades the school. 35. May no longer decorate the Great Hall for any function. 36. May not give Professor Sprout any plant named “Audrey”. 37. May not feed Longbottom to “Audrey”. 38. May not bring Moaning Myrtle as my date to the Yule Ball. 39. May not put banned substances on the Gryffindor Quidditch brooms just before a match (see attached list). 40. May not encourage Fred or George Weasley to boobytrap the Sorting Hat. 41. May not bring Longbottom to any Death-Eater function in the hopes he will ‘fix’ Voldemort’s latest potion. 42. Even if the resulting explosion will leave a smoking crater a quarter-mile in diameter, thus resolving at least two of my major problems. 43. May not send a charmed rubber rat across the floor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom in hopes that Lupin will chase it. 44. Or send Sirius Black a flea collar in Extra Large. Though he could use it. “Dances with wolves, sleeps with fleas”. 45. When asked to give a few words at a ceremony or staff meeting, ‘Romper Bomper Stomper poo" isn't appropriate Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today... Be honored to serve such a leader who loves us. If you believe in God and Jesus Christ His son... Then copy and past this on your profile. If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..." Family is like fudge; mostly sweet with a few nuts mixed in. A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be in the next cell over shouting, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs and trips you again. I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me? Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone. If it wasn't for physics and the law, heck, I'd be unstoppable. We are best friends. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I laugh harder. Music is like candy- you throw away the wrappers. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. Boys are like slinkys: useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I ran with scissors, and lived! If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration! "We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box." |
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