
Author has written 10 stories for Black Magician Trilogy, Doctor Who, Death Note, Harry Potter, and Naruto.
Ohayo, Konichiwa or Konbanwa!
Name: Mitsukuni, Hunni, Sasuke, Konan, L
Age: 14...I think...
Location: Behind your sofa
Avatar: Two of my three dogs, Molly, the brown one, and Poppy, the black one... aren't they adorable...and to think, when they were puppies they killed my sofa.
Cosplays I have: Konan (Naruto), Sasori (Naruto), Hinata (Naruto), L (Death Note), Near (Death Note) and Mitsukuni/Hunny (Ouran High School Host Club)
Fave. Pairings -Guy/Girl (Nowhere near complete)
Temari/Shikamaru (Naruto)
Kiba/Hinata (Naruto)
Hinata/Naruto (Naruto, duh)
TenTen/Neji (Naruto)
Draco/Hermione (Harry Potter)
L/Misa (Death Note)
Pain/Konan (Naruto)
Sakura/Sasori (Naruto)
Jasper/Alice (Twilight)
Jacob/Bella (Twilight)
Luna/Harry (Harry Potter)
Fave.Pairings - Guy/Guy (Incomplete)
Sasuke/Naruto (Naruto, kinda obvious)
Sasuke/Gaara (Naruto)
Gaara/Naruto (If you haven't guessed by now...)
Draco/Harry (Harry Potter)
youngJames/youngSeverus (Harry Potter)
Kiba/Naruto (I will kill you if you ask...)
Matt/Mello (Death Note)
L/Light (Death Note)
Near/Mello/Matt (Death Note)
Dante/Nero (Devil May Cry)
Nero/Vergil (Unless they really are family) (Devil May Cry)
Sasori/Deidara (Naruto)
Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Kisame/Itachi (Naruto)
Pain/Itachi (Naruto)
Naruto/Pain (NARUTO!)
Kyoya/Tamaki (Ouran High School Host Club)
Mori/Hunny (Ouran High School Host Club)
Hikaru/Haruhi (Ouran High School Host Club)
Tamaki/Haruhi (Ouran High School Host Club)
Lucius/Harry (Harry Potter)
Fave Manga and Anime: Naruto, Death Note, D.N Angel, Ouran High School Host Club, Junjou Romantica, Soul Eater, Black Cat,
People Random:
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head. Pass it on...
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... (L!!)
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
The few people who would die laughing if the newest fashion was not breathing are brilliant
Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
Guns don't kill people. I do.
"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."
"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."
my imaginary friend doesn't like you either
i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends
Smile. It confuses people.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?
Random:
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
How can I think outside of the box, if they won't let me out of it?
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Being normal is overrated.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."
"So, you're a cannibal."
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
"When all else fails blow shit up."
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.
Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.
Killing gnomes with sporks!
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.
Don't take it personally.. but you smell like an ice cube
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
Behold the mighty...chihuahua?
Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Feeding my pet old person right now...!
Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the profile. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'. Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy-profile!
I do what cheerios tell me.
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl
I'm bartending at an AA meeting
I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you!
I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...
I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet...
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
yo-yos were invented as a weapon
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before. ;)
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.
Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!
If you see a long tunnel don't go into the light.
I'm afraid to ask.
Blowing up squirrels sure is fun, eh.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Excuse me, what drug are you on.
If you ever stop to wonder if you have insane mental problems, then it's already too late for you. It's sad, but true.
When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "You had to be there," thing. I think of it as a "You have to be clinically insane like us," thing.
I...I think I'm a dork.
Yes, I am insane, but every now and then I have these horrible periods of boredom where I have to be normal like you.
I know I came into this room for a reason...
We're all going to die...but I got a helmet.
Heavily medicated for your safety.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
My day isn't complete until I have freaked out a complete stranger.
Hi, I am a polymorphic alien and I have taken the shape of a Display Icon to have sex with your pupils, and judging by the smile on your face, I can tell that you're enjoying it.
My friends are the type of people that would spend hours trying to drown a gold fish...but I love 'em anyway.
Never piss off a monkey with a sword.
I don't know what my problem is, but I do know its hard to pronounce.
We're all pretty bizarre. Some are just better at showing it.
I'm smiling because they haven't found the bodies yet.
The pen is mightier than the sword; no-one expects you to attack them with a pen.
I could never find another man like you...Hell, half the time I can't even find where I parked the car.
A best friend is someone that will scream, "EWE, NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU IN PUBLIC!!" and not care if everyone thinks you're lesbians.
I'm not short. I'm travel sized for your convenience.
I speak whale.
Knowledge is power and power corrupts. Study hard; be evil.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas...How he got into my pajamas I'll never know...
You have the right to swing first. However, if you choose to swing first, any move you make can and will be used as an excuse to beat the shit out of you. You have the right to have a doctor and a priest present. If you cannot afford a doctor or are not presently attending a church of your choice, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand what I just told you, Asshole??
I once gave up anime; it was the most terrifying weekend of my life.
I will kill you until you DIE from it!!
You are NOT a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are made of the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
Now come here so I can lick your face.
I am NOT random. I just have many THOUGHTS...Yeah.
Evil Minions; not always as useful as one would hope.
Christianity: the belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...It makes perfect sense...Yeah.
That's when I started breaking into people's houses. I didn't steal anything, but I did rearrange their furniture.
YOU GAY FAG!! HAHAHA I just called you a happy bundle of sticks!!
Sometimes I mix 'I can't believe its not butter' with butter to make 'I can't believe some of its butter.'
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, "Well, maybe life isn't for everyone."
...not to mention that I went crazy again today.
My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is knowing that they can't fight back when you bite their heads off.
What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if NOBODY ever asks to see them??
Buckle up!! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.
Seeing Sasuke making funny faces amuses me greatly.
...and this is where I kick your ass in a dress!!
Anime: more addicting than watching a monkey on crack.
Anyone home?...No one's home. GOODBYE PANTS!!
This is when we look at each other from across the room and giggle until the teacher looks at us...Then we laugh our heads off.
I really don't mind that people think my group of friends is a cult.
WARNING!!: I have an extremely fucked up sense of humor.
You laugh because I'm a little different; I laugh because I rigged your house with explosives.
Slinky + Escalator = Everlasting fun.
You can't make a person love you...You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
I may not look like much, but I'm a pro at pretending to be a ninja.
You know, just once I would like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
You think you have game?!...Take your pants off.
Beware of women with kunai.
I am the terror that lurks in your bathtub.
Stupid weatherman...Sunny and clear my ass.
Orochimaru! Sasuke's done! Should I turn the oven off?
Look!! -points- A distraction!!
COME BACK HERE YOU YELLOW BELLIED BASTARDS, I'LL GNAW YOUR LEGS OFF!! -Monty Python and the Holy Grail
...Oh, yeah! My daddy kills people in the wine cellar all the time.
Do Not Disturb: Plotting
With a stoplight, Green means Go, Yellow means Slow, and Red means Stop. But with bananas, it's very different. Yellow means Go, Green means Whoa Slow Down, and Red means Where The Heck Did You Get A Red Banana?!
"If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"Oh, good, my dog found the chainsaw." -Lilo (Lilo and Stitch)
Italy: France nii-san, what is intercourse? France: Don’t you know, Ita-chan? It’s what you do with someone you like. So…do you like me? (Hetalia-Axis Powers)
Become one with Russia, da? (Hetalia)
PRUSSIA invades your vital regions! (Hetalia)
"Yes. Biologically, I am a girl." -Haruhi (OHSHC)
Kagura: You don't know what a woman feels like when she's in love!
Shigure Sohma: Oh, yes I do! Or at least I've felt enough women to venture a guess -Fruits Basket
"i am not insane...i am just looking for the entrance of the kingdom of mayonnaise"
Hughes: (showing Ed a picture) Look! Can you believe how big Elicia has gotten? She can even ride a tricycle now. She follows me everywhere on that thing, like my own escort of cuteness.
Ed: Yep, you're the same as ever, Major...Nice and insane. -FMA
"I want to touch you again Brother!" -Alphonse Elric (FMA)
Pajama pants: when you know your night's gonna be devoid of human contact. -Uncle Yo
As I lay in my bed one night, and stare at the stars; I wonder...Where the heck is my ceiling?!
This space is intentionally left blank.
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it's more likely to be female.
Sri Lanka has lowest divorce rate in the world - and the highest rate of female suicide.
Nyna: Humanity's hopes rest on your shoulders. I would sooner not see them crushed.
Marth: Which? Humanity's hopes, or my shoulders?
Al: Brother, what are you going to do?
Ed: Nothing.
Al: Then why are you chasing me? -FMA...1st episode
“I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”
“Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween everyday"
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, "Trick or treat." "No thank you."
"He just wanted to see how you tasted?" -Mitsuki
Sex on TV is not dangerous, unless you fall off.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
Drive it like you stole it!
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
We’re not lost. I’m just not quite sure where we are.
I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!
You have the emotional capacity of this stapler.
If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?
Fave Movies: Interview With the Vampire, L: Change the World (Fave Movie Of All Time!), Death Note, Death Note 2: The Last Name, A Perfect Getaway, Robots, St Trinians 2, Alice In Wonderland (2010 Version), How To Train Your Dragon…
Fave TV Shows: South Park, Friends, My Family, The Simpsons, How I Met Your Mother, Scrubs, Glee, Live At the Apollo, Mock The Week,
Fave Bands/Artists: Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Blink-182, The All-American Rejects, Emilie Autumn, Avril Lavigne, 30h3,
Fave Books: Interview With the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, The Vampire Armand, The Witching Hour, The Queen of the Damned, Cadian Blood, Guardians of the Forest, Death Note : Another Note, L: Change The World…
I respect the 10 rules of anime (as said by Uncle Yo):
1) Thou shall not judge a new anime based on its title. Look at Bleach…
2) Thou shall not judge an anime based on its opening theme.
3) Thou shall not judge based on its random misuse of English (because at least they’re trying).
4) Not by said anime’s opening theme song’s random misuse of English.
5) Thou shall not judge a new anime based on its first episode. It’s call the bait-and-switch people, be aware of it.
6) Thou shall not judge based on the fan girls.
7) Thou shall not steal new anime from the Internet….unless thou intends to share with thine anime club.
8) Thou shall accept that gravity is optional. Especially when dealing with hair.
9) Thou shall not say the manga was better unless thou hath read the manga.
10) Thou shall forgive thy parent’s for calling anime “cartoons,” and thus grouping Spike Spiegal and Light Yagami with Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny and SpongeBob Squarepants.
Ninja Ordinance:
1: Although it is scary, I am not allowed to dress up as Orochimaru for Halloween.
2: I am no longer allowed to dare Hinata to look into the men's bath house. (changed from original cuz I'm a girl)
3: When in battle, I will not ask my opponent to do the hokie pokie.
4: The academy students are not moving targets.
5: I am not to steal Hokage-sama's sake because she'll flick me through a wall.
Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.):
1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.
26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
43. Swat at flies that don't exist.
44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.
15 Things to do when you’re in Walmart!:
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "We have a Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
Read this
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
Joke #1
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
Joke #2
Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comforable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe."
Random Shit:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
'American Idol' made it famous...the radio made it annoying!
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
Bookstores are the only evidence that people are still thinking.
RENTHEADS ROCK!
Copy and Pastes:
IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD THE SUDDEN DESIRE TO OWN A TAZER...
If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...
If you have deja vu a lot…
If you probably have a body in your closet…
If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it…
If you would kill to have wings…
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”…
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer…
If you're random and proud of it…
If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...
If people think you are mentally insane...
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation…
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one…
If you have your own little world…
If you've ever talked to yourself…
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination…
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area…
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it…
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water…
If you haven't died yet…
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?"…
If you've ever attempted alchemy by clapping your hands, snapping your fingers or drawing an array...
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it...
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason...
If you've ever spun around in a chair and gone, "WEEEEE,"...
If your a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it...
If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...
If you ever stared at someone for a really long time for no reason...
If your family wonders how u can remember all the naruto character's names...
Computer Related:
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
Press ALT + F4, it’s really fun!
Questions:
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
Pick-up Lines:
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!