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Joined 03-31-10, id: 2309424, Profile Updated: 04-15-10
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Yo, my name is Jennifer NotTellingYouMyLastName.

Favorite color is blue

I had a cat, Molly, that ran away (totally not my fault)

I love Country music

I'm the world worst speller and yet I want to be an author (God's cruel irony)

GUESS WHAT! I JUST GOT A NEW LAPTOP TODAY!! - 4/9/2010

That's about it, now on to author two...


Hey there! (: My name is Ariel Noneyabuisness.

I am basically opposite of Jennifer, just wait til you read this

My favorite color is pink.

I hate and am allergic to cats, I got a dog named foxy, though.

I am not a big country music fan, I like alternitive.

I am a decent speller, but not great. Though I do also want to be an author.

Jennifer and I have know each other/ been really good friends since like, 2nd grade though we are like nothing like. I am a bit preppy... OK alot preppy! I am such a girly girl while she is... not... at all...

Well I think you know enough about us, the only thing you really need to know about us is that we will be writing joint stories on this account. If you want to read something just by me then my own account is Ariellove12. If you want to read something by Jennifer then look up Whitefeather378, which is obviously her own account.

I (Jennifer) decided it would be fun to list the diffrences Ariel and I, she can add to this whenever.

Me Her

Perfer Jacob over Edward -- Loves Edward, thinks Jacob should jump of a cliff and die this time. (This is so true! Jacob can die...)

Love Blue hate Pink -- Pink is her favorite color (Yay PINK! :D)

A cat person -- A dog person, doesn't like cats at all (Well can you blame me? I'm allergic and I personally think cats are nasty...)

Hate shopping -- Wishes she could go on a shopping spree everyday ( That would be heaven, I wanna live in a mall with endless cash!)

Quiet -- Never shuts up (I've told her to countless times) (She's not kidding... Hehe I just like to talk wheras she was rather sit on the bus and read :P Though in her defense I like tell her she can sometimes when I also feel like reading)

Read all kinds of fanfictions -- Reads only Twilight (WOOT WOOT Twilight!)

Have a select few friends (including her) -- Countless friends (literally she can't even name them all) including me. (I can too name them all! It just might take me a while...)

had a cat, named Molly -- Has a (cute, adorable) dog named Foxy (She is pretty adorable :D)

Loves sarcasum -- Loves sarcasum but gets confused when I use it (It's spelt sarcasm Jennifer and sorry I'm a bit slow... OK alot slow!)

Younger than her (by less then a month mind you) -- Older than me (by less then a month thank you very much) (Fersure :D My birthday is December 26th hers is January 16th muahaha)

Took bussiness kebording -- Didn't (I can type fast without having to suffer through a boring class teaching me how to.)

Such (very badly if you look at the above diffrence) at spelling -- Can actually pass her spelling tests (I do usually pass spelling tests... And it's spelled difference :D)

Hate math with a burning passion -- Thinks it's okay (she's crazy I tell you!) (I DO NOT THINK MATH IS OK IT IS ICKY!)

Spells okay like this: okay -- Spells okay like this: OK (I just don't like how it's in all caps no clue why) (Well I like spelling it like OK haha)

So bad at spelling I once had to ask her how to spell 'was' -- So bad at reading words when we were playing a game she thought a 'Black Crow' was a 'Black Craw' (I will never live that down...)

We are exact opposites and yet we manage to remain friends, it's a funny world we live in isn't it. (Indeed)

I, Ariel, edited my thoughts on all this in intalics so the stuff if italics I did.


A wife walks up to her preacher and says, my husband keeps falling during the sermon and it's embarassing how do I fix it? The preacher hands her a pin and says, when your husband falls asleep I will give you a signal and you poke him with the pin, Then later during the sermon the preacher notices her husband had fallen asleep and asked, who is our savior? Then gave the woman the signal so she pokes him and he jumps up yelling Jesus! A while later he notices he had fallen asleep again and asked, Who is our lord? And gave her the motion. Being poked he jumped up yelling God! A few minutes later he fell asleep but this time the preacher did not notice and asked, What did Eve say to Adam after she had bore him his 99 child? Then made a motion the woman mistook as the signal and she poked him, he jumped up again and yelled, You stick that thing in me 1 more time I'll take it, break it in half, and shove it up your butt!! All the woman in the crowd nodded and said, AMEN!


OK sorry no offense to blondes but Jennifer and I totally love blonde jokes so here are a ton of good ones!

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"


There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.


Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"


A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"


Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down!"


A blonde, brunette and redhead passed away in a car accident.

They arrive at the pearly gates and they are told they will be told a joke every 10 steps and they must make it up 100 steps. If they laugh they will not able to get in.

The brunette went up 30 steps and laughed. The redhead went up 50 steps and laughed. The blonde got up all the way to the top and then started laughing hysterically.

When asked "Why did you laugh when you got to the top?" The blonde replied, "I just got the first joke!"


A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."


There is a blonde, brunette, and redhead stranded on an island. A genie comes and says he will grant them each one wish. The brunette said, "I wish I was home." The genie snapped his fingers and she was sent home. The redhead says, "I wish I was home with my family." The genie sent her home. Then the blonde said, "I miss my friends I wish they were here with me."


There was a Blonde and her husband.

One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She's determined to prove to her husband that blondes aren't dumb, by painting the kitchen.

When her husband gets home he says to his wife "Honey why do you have 3 coats on?"

The blonde says, "Well the directions on the paint said to use three coats for best results."


There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting "88, 88, 88, 88..."

A blonde came up to her and said, "That looks like fun, can I try?"

The brunette said, "Sure."

So the blonde chanted, "88, 88, 88, 88.."

"Well," said the brunette, "that is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street."

So the blonde said, "OK." and stood in the middle of the street. "88, 88, 88, 88-" BAM! she was run over by a car, completely flattened.

Along the side of the road, the brunette began to chant, "89, 89, 89, 89..."


A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."


A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, "Can I buy that TV"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Because your a blonde."
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, "Can I buy that TV?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Your a blonde."
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, "Can I buy that TV?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"You're a blonde"
"How can you tell I'm a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!"
"Because that's not a TV, that's a microwave!"


A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde were all running from the cops. They decided to split up. The brunette went to the west and jumped in with a pack of dogs. She started barking so the cops went after the red-head. The red-head went to east and jumped in with a pack of cats. She started meowing so the cops went after the blonde. The blonde went south and jumped into a vegetable garden. When the cops caught up with her, she began repeating, "Photosyntehsis, photosynthesis..."


A blonde hurried into the hospital emergency room late one night with the
tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?," the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor? "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
the tip of your finger?"

"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First, I put the gun to my chest, and I
thought, 'I just paid 6,000 for these; I'm not shooting myself in the
chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid 3,000 to get
my teeth straightened; I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So, then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud
noise, so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."


A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.

For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her first ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit.

When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool and carefully laid out her tools.

Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"

Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole.

Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"

Amazed, the blonde was not quite sure what to do as this certainly was not covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly--tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again.

"There are no fish under the ice!!"

Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that You, Lord?"

The voice boomed back, "NO THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK!"


There were 11 people holding onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.


A blonde decides to give back to society. She finally decides to paint an old man's home for free. "So, what do I paint?" she asks the old man.

"The porch," he laughs like there's an inside joke. "Ok!" she says excitedly. The old man walks in his house and his wife looks upset at him.

"Did you tell her the porch goes all around the house?" she asks. The man shook his head.

"Hey!" the blonde calls, in half hour, "I'm done, and I even had paint left over so I put a second coat." she explains.

The happy man waves as the blonde leaves. "And by the way," the blonde says, "That's not a porsche, that's a ferrari."


This is Jennifer's favorite:

There was a blonde, brunette, and redhead on a deserted island they figured that they would try to swim across and make it to civilization. The redhead made it a fourth of the way then drowned, the brunette made it a third of the way then drowned. Then the blonde made it half the way and then said, "I'm too tired," and swam all the way back to the island.

Prank Wars reviews
One word, REVENGE. When the boys aka Edward, Emmett, and Jasper start a prank war you can just guess the girls reaction. Rated T for safety and yes this Summary stinks, the story will be awesome though.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,319 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 4/8/2010