Author has written 7 stories for Legend of Zelda, Digimon, and Myst/Riven.
Jesus christ, I wrote this back when I was about 13 or 14. I haven't been hit with this wave of nostalgia and self shame since the day I found my old Xanga blog. Look at the kind of crap I wrote. Holy jesus of nazereth I am just reeling at how unbelievably bad I was at the stupid things I wrote. I also love how I rant about couples down below here, yet so many of my stories are full of couples. I was probably pissed that I didn't have a girlfriend. Kill all this with radioactive fucking napalm.
Look at this! A horrible cliche Author's Bio!
Let's face it people. Couple making is stupid.
In reality we wouldn't see things like BB and Rae, or Ash and Misty, turning into couples.
Why?
Point 1:
They are young. Chances are, even if they did get married, half of the couples you idiots make up aren't very compatible, and after a few years they'd probably get a divorce, filled with restraining orders, confused children, and manslaughter.
Point 2:
Opposites do not attract. I can giveyou afew perfect examples:
The female is a liberal and the male is a conservative. (or vice versa)
The female is muslim and the male is Christian. (or vice versa)
The female loves florida, the beach and the sun, and the male is allergic to UV light. (or vice versa)
Those are all opposites, and none would work out.
Point 3:
One thing that totally bugs the heck out of me, is when I see a picture like Sora and Tai in wedding clothes, on their wedding day. Or worse, a fan fic about a cute Japanese couple's wonderful wedding. HELLO!
Incase you didn't realize it, the Japanese have a very different version of weddings then us stupid American wannabe's. They wear Kimono's instead of a tux and gown. They sit around staring at a fish and exchanging advice, while getting drunk, instead of walking down the isle in front of a whole bunch of relatives that they've forgotten their names.
Point 4:
Chances are we won't see a Japanese couple in a cute little house on the prairie. This is Japan people. Everyone is entitled to their own 4 cubic feet. Except farmers, who are entitled to their own 5 cubic feet, and all the rice one can plow.
Point 5:
crazy monkey sexlovers: We don't want to hear your sexual fantasies. I don't care if it could happen in Japan, I just don't want to hear it.
Point 6:
Most sanitary people don't make out in public for more than an hour. Let alone 15 minutes. Let alone in public. That's just stupid.
Point 7:
None of my stories will be full of your sick and twisted ideas of cute couples. I may contain dating or something, but I will no longer imply full life commitment. These days, that just doesn't happen.
Don't agree with me? Hate my friggen guts? Go ahead and send your complaints to haph88(at)gmail.com
and don't be an idiot and copy&paste... (at) is a subsitute for @.