I'm an aromantic asexual. On a base level I'm writing so I can see stories where I can finally relate to a character. My writing may not be the best, but I figure putting them down is better than having nothing at all. For those of you who just want something to read, I'm glad you're here regardless of the reason. The following may bother you, because it's going to contain the rather roundabout reasons why I started this account despite my lack of ability. When I was growing I had no idea what my identity might be. A friend introduced me to Criminal Minds (I do like the show despite it rather damaging effects on my childhood.) The serial killer often experienced little to no attraction unless they were murdering someone. I was terrified that I might be a psychopath, that I'd be driven to similar atrocities. The fact that I'd never had a crush, that I didn't seen capable of such a basic human function convinced me that something was wrong. I spent years researching psychopaths trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I believed something was broken deep inside. I decided that I was experiencing attraction, though I couldn't recall a signal instance whenever someone asked. I go to a liberal school and our LGBT club was quite active. They posted a series on different types of sexual orientation and asexuality was among them. Whenever I walked past, I'd stare at the other side of the hall. I was so afraid of glancing at the poster, because I didn't want to admit to myself that I could be that. I was depressed, not badly, but to the point where it's hard to do anything and even eating seems like a chore. It was driven in part by my desperation for an identity. This fall I decided that I wanted to know the truth. I went online and after reading blogs and sites I realized that I'm asexual. I should have known sooner, I exhibit almost every trait one would expect. In the months I was happy for the first time in five years. Something still seemed off. Everything tells me that sex is amazing and that love is essential to happiness. Looking forward I can't imagine a future where I'm content. This collection of drabbles, rambling and stories are to show both you and myself that asexuality comes in many forms and it's can be part of a complete, content life. Thank you and enjoy |