I'm awesome. Just saying...

My name is Emily Castell, and if you like what you see here, find me at:

Max-Dan-Wiz.com =Emily Castell

deviantART.com = EmilyCastell (just don't watch me... I hate being stalked...)

I am super happy and I love mah bffs! Don't kill 'em if you don't want to see me get angry! It's not pretty!

But fo' realz, I LOVE soccer, playing clarinet, and singing! So if I'm not on here, I'm mostly doing that. Or I'm at school. Notice how I didn't say I love it...

Naw! I LOVE school! I have the best teachers EVAR!!! And friends, but besides that... I am an A/B student, and I don't know what else to say...

-Emily Castell

I stole this from randommonium135. Don't shoot me.

Maximum Ride Quotes

"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max

"I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy

"Why was the blind guy playing with matches, you ask? Because he's good at it." -Max

"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." -Max

"Can you giggle while racing for your life and protecting a six-year-old? I can." -Max

"Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could turn Mother Teresa into an ax murderer." -Max

"Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." -Fang

"Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren't missionaries." -FBI investigator
"No? Well, for God's sake, don't tell them. They'd be crushed. Thinking they're doing the Lord's work, and all." -Max

"Can we see him?" -Iggy
"Ig, I hate to break this to you, but you're blind." -Max

"Hey whats taking you so long? What are you doing, shaving your mustache?"
"I dont have a mustache you idoit, and neither do you. Maybe, in a few years, we can always hope" - Iggy/Max

"Whats this our side, Kemosabe?" -Max

"It feels weird that no ones throwing a black hood over my head" -Max

"1)Sardonic laughter (always a good one)
2)Rolled eyes and snort of disbelief
3)Sarcastic "youve got to be kidding me" -Max

"Its a baby plane. Its gonna grow up to be seven-forty-seven one day" -Angel

"Louisiana, the state that road maintence forgot" -Max

"Mad crazy, not mad angry, though a lot of them do seem to have anger managment issues, espeically around me" -Max

"Fair isn't fair, Dean. Like I'm supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try, "I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it." I might respond to that, maybe."

"Total you're black"
"I prefer Canine American" - Total/Iggy

"I take it you don't want me to call your parents."
"Umm, No."
Hello, Lab? May I speak to a test tube please? - Max/Dr Martinez

It was like Christmas, and his birthday, and sort of Halloween all rolled up into one. - Ari

"Now, let's say they come and get us." -Max
"And, like, the halls are full of zebras."-Ig
"And suddenly tons of bubbles are everywhere." -Gazzy
"And then everyone starts to eat beef jerky," -Nudge
"Yeah. I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent, so people are choking and gagging: and let's throw beef jerky right into their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Ig

"Buckingham Palace? You know, like where the Queen lives. And Mr. Queen?" - Nudge

"Is dere anysing special about you?Anysing worth saving?" "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." - Ter Borcht/ Fang

"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max

'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked."

'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. 'She offered to cook breakfast.'" (Fang)

"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
'And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)

Here is the BEST POEM EVER:

White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses.

White is the colour of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.

White is the colour of soft serve ice cream in a cone.

White is the colour of angels wings and Angel's wings.

White is the colour of brand new ankle socks fresh out of the bag.

White is the colour of crisp sheets in schmancy hotels

White is the colour of every last freaking gol-danged thing you see for endless miles and MILES if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness- Wonder Bread, someone's underwear, teeth, you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself.

-Maximum Ride

Thank you HarryTwilightMaxRideFan for posting this... I COPIED IT!!!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and clean your teeth.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

16. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

17. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.

18. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

19. Take things from peoples carts and put them in others' when they're not looking.

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list! XD