"I'm not suppose to love you,
I'm not suppose to care,
I'm not suppose to live my life wishing you were here,
I'm not suppose to wonder where you are and what you are doing,
I'm sorry,
I can't help myself,
because I'm in love with you."- Tess.

"It's like dejavu all over again."-Yogee Beara.

"It sounds like English but I can't understand a word you are saying."- ...

"Honk if you liek Britney Spears, then drive your car into the nearest tree."

"Sweet is love when all in sane,
sweet is death to rid the pain,
cruel is death when all is well,
cruel is love when all is hell"

"I was to bad to go to heaven, but when I was in hell I hit on the devil too much!"

"If your happy and you know it... get out of my house."

"Like what you see? Call 1-800-YOU-WISH."

"Work like you don't need money;
Love like you'll never hurt;
and dance like no-one is watching."

"Happy people just don't shoot their husbands!"- Elle Woods.

"Friends don't let friends drink and take home ugly men."

"As an older more mature young adult your job is to... make fun of the little kids!"

"Did it hurt when I fell from heave? No, but it hurt when they clipped my wings for being the devil."

"My mind doesn't wander, sometimes it just leaves completely."

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."- Tiffany Rose.

"Everyone has a right to be stupid but your abusing your privledges." Tiffany Rose.

"Love is the only thing that we can caryy with us when we leave and it makes the end so easy." -Louise Mary Aleott.

"Dig my grave,
dig it deep.
Dig my grave,
from head to feet.
And on the top place a dove.
And remember this,
I died for love."

do these to your restroo, stallmate!

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh Sh*t! My glass eye!"

6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.

15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

20 Things To Do At Burger King

1) Go with a friend, sit on opposite ends of the restaurant and carry on a conversation.

2) Ask for breakfast at noon. When they say that breakfast is over, fall to the floor, curl in the fetal position and cry like a baby.

3) Ride through the drive-thru on a horse.

4) Get a burger with no pickles, make sure you make it very clear that you do not want pickles. When you start eating the burger, scream, "Where the fück are my pickels???" Demand to speak to those cartoon kids.

5) Scream your order (SHOUT LOUDLY) to the poor unsuspecting counter person.

6) Order a gordita.

7) Show up with a group of 100 people, not calling first.

8) Sing your order opera style when going through the drive-thru.

9) Pretend you are blind, randomly run into people/things. (Don't forget your dog)

10) Dress in your Sunday best, eat like a slob.

11) Order a soda and when they hand it to you, immedietly proceed to dump it over you head. Walk out quickly.

12) Place you order, pay, and walk out without taking the food.

13) Pretend you are gay and flirt with the employees. Just watch them squirm.

14) Dump hot coffee on yourself and laugh uncontrollably.

15) Pay for your meal in pennies.

16) Place your order in German. (Spanish, Italian, whatever foreign language you know)

17) Pay for one #5 meal with a credit card.

18) Makeout with your girlfriend/boyfriend in the corner.

19) Ask to speak to Ronald Mcdonald.

20) Skizophrenia--Need I say more??

28 Signs That Say You're Too Drunk

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

3. Your job is interfering with your drinking.

4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

5. Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

7. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

9. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

10. You can focus better with one eye closed.

11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

12. You fall off the floor...

13. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

16. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

18. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.

19. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

20. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and [Women or Men].

21. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

22. Roseanne is starting to look good.

23. You don't recognize your wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

24. That damned pink elephant followed you home again.

25. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

26. You're as jober as a sudge.

27. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

28. You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.
Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess
I have two mounds upon my bodice
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee
I can justify any shopping spree
Not to a barber, but a beauty salon
Can get a massage without a hard on

Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass
I always save money by using coupons
Can admit to others when I am wrong

Don't drive in circles at any cost
So I don't have to admit when I am lost
Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon
Every time I go to the john

Let me tell you men
Listen to me boys
Those things in your pants
That you treat as toys
You love them more then we ever will
We would rather sùck on a cold pickled dill

I spend two hours preparing for a date
Only to find you're two hours late
I don't watch movies with lots of gore
Don't need instant replay to remember the score

I won't lose my hair
I don't get jock itch
And just cause I'm assertive
Don't call me a bïtch

I don't wear the same underwear everyday
The food in my fridge has no sign of decay
I don't go to Sears
To look at the tools
I don't cheat at poker
I follow the rules

I don't smoke cigars
Don't pay for drinks at bars
I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi"
And it's o.k. for me to cry

I know all you men
Think that you're "IT"
But compared to a woman
You just ain't SHÏT!

-Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
-Save the Whales. Collect the whole set.
-A day without sunshine is, like, night.
-Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
-On the other hand, you have different fingers
-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
-Back up my hard drive? How do I put it into reverse?
-I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
-When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it
-Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
-I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged
-You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misqouted, then used against you
-I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?
-Pardon my driving, I'm reloading
-Despite the cost of living, do you notice how it remains so popular?
-Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool
-Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
-He who laughs last, thinks slowest

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

Ama me fideliter! Fidem meam noto: De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter Absens in remota."

"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one knows; Love can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at last; To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you love and care for the one you chose."

At last is Hector stretch'd upon the plain,
Who fear'd no vengeance for Patroclus slain:
Then, Prince! You should have fear'd, what now you feel;
Achilles absent was Achilles still:
Yet a short space the great avenger stayed,
Then low in dust thy strength and glory laid."

If thou shouldst never see my face again,
Pray for my soul. More things are wrought by prayer
Than this world dreams of

I hold it true,what'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Till last by Philip's farm I flow
To join the brimming river,
For men may come and men may go,
But I go on for ever."

"Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love, time is eternity."

Love is a portion of the soul itself,
and it is of the same nature as the
celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise

Life is a flower of which love is the honey
"The reduction of the universe to a single being,
the expansion of a single being even to God, this is love."

Perfect love is rare indeed -
for to be a lover will require that you continually
have the subtlety of the very wise,
the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist,
the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint,
the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly
and without law, and must be plucked where it is found,
and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration."

"Love is friendship set to music."

"The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."

For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof,
the work for which all other work is but preparation

Faults are thick where love is thin

Love is the flower you've got to let grow

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love

The first duty of love - is to listen

"The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud
is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."

"Love is a great beautifier

cait in roxboro.