My name is Keaton. Alex Keaton. I am a prolific writer who writes lots of fanfictions, but I don't have any yet that I have written. I will have a story up soon, but only the first chapter, because it will be a multichapter story (duh), and the first chapter always comes first. Disregard this if I already have it up and simply haven't updated my profile. I don't update my profile after every post, because I don't have time for that much writing. I mean, come on, I'm already writing stories for you guys, and what do you want? Stories, or profile updates? I'm not just here to please you guys, you know. It's better not to harass me about this unless you want to offend karma, and want me to stop writing my stories.

If you like my stories, please read and review them. That way I can know what you like and write just for you, you demanding snobs.

---

I have very wide interests in television and movies and maybe books sometimes. I am especially a fan of the fifth episodes of many television shows. Here is a list of things that I really like:

Family Ties
Anything with Vin Diesel
The Sound of Music
Post-Kermit episodes of Sesame Street
Any manga with the letter G in the title
Martha Steward
Scrubs (season 4)
Ted McGinley
Bob Ross: The Joy of Painting
Little Rosie
Some episodes of Bewitched (especially the movie)

One of my favorite things to do is to watch TV or listen to music or go to work or play the piano or shop or decorate the Christmas tree or read Nietzsche. My second favorite thing to do is eat goldfish (crackers or live) or light up the fireplace in Winter or Fall or Summer, or watch Family Ties or say no to drugs.

My stories are all values-driven and inspired. You will never see a character in my stories jaywalking, because that is exceptionally illegal. More people die every year from jaywalking than from getting bitten by dinosaurs, just to give you an idea how dangerous it is to break the law. Another value that I try to focus on is ethics, like how it is unethical to steal office supplies or stories, so whenever a character in one of mine steals office supplies or plagiarizes then he will go to jail for it, or at least you know that he is a bad person. It's only fair. The last thing (well maybe not the last, but the last one that I'm writing in this list) that my characters will not do because it's wrong is to pierce their nipples. The other last thing is that they will not interfere with the postal system or steal mail. That is a good way of getting sent to federal prison, or worse, getting caught.

Finally, a few things you should know about me. I don't like Harry Potter or Pokémon or Scrubs or Hannah Montanna. Donald Duck is way cooler than Mickey Mouse, and I prefer American spellings to British.